Starting a family with the mm

[Gwyneth]

That's not what I was saying. I was comparing knowing him to not knowing a sperm donor. BIG Difference right there.

 

Man she knows personally vs sperm bank donor--someone she does Not know other than a biography.

[luvmy2ns]

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being a single mom in today's society. My mom did it--many do these days. Many women go to banks to conceive. At least she knows the man she wants to father her child.

 

Never said there was anything wrong with it. I was talking about her plans for "starting a family with a MM." He has to be willing to be a part of it for her to be in a family with him. She can have a family with his child, but it won't be a family with him unless he's on board with the whole notion.

[Gwyneth]

Never said there was anything wrong with it. I was talking about her plans for "starting a family with a MM." He has to be willing to be a part of it for her to be in a family with him. She can have a family with his child, but it won't be a family with him unless he's on board with the whole notion.

 

Exactly. And I wasn't saying you said that...I was just stating that she can be one if she can

[Virgo1982]

LOL! This gets more and more entertaining!

 

Twisted...Just one question, what are you planning on getting the plastic surgery FOR? Do you have some kind of bizarre genetic condition that will cause a pregnancy to deform you in some way?

 

I can't wait to hear this. It's almost as funny as thinking some guy with 4 kids wants to have a baby with the OW before he's divorced (which, btw, isn't happening).

 

Yes. I wouldn't think of leaving my W if I had four kids. In fact, if things are so bad, why did they have four kids in the first place? If his W is as bad as he says she is, he will be broke-or close to it-after all is said and done.

[Gwyneth]

Four children is a LOT to handle!!! Six for a grandmother is whoa!!!!

 

Well, if she wants to have a child with this man, she just needs to be aware that he might not be a "daddy," but yes, a sperm donor. Many men and women these days raise children on their own without the other parent in the child's life. Society is changing so much. So if this is what she wants, then more power to her, best of luck, and I hope it works out to everything you expected / wanted it to be

[PLAYBRAT]

This is FIRST to TWISTED'

 

I am not going to mince my words....you take them how you wish.

You CHOSE to get involved with a MM...so you have to DEAL with the

consequences of YOUR actions. PERIOD. You KNOW he has FOUR kids..

and you spread your legs willingly.....honey..that is YOUR cross to bear.NOT his. He is doing what YOU allow him to do.PERIOD. He can't shove birth control pills into your mouth. He is likely ASSUMING you are being safe. You know this man is a dog....you have come here not ONLY seeking advice..but gloating on some level.

 

I truthfully do NOT feel sorry for you if this does not turn out the way you want it to. Your attitude is very self serving and vindictive.

 

All this man will be in YOUR life is a 'baby daddy" if you get pregnant. You can rest assured of that. Having a baby with a man does NOT in any way mean he loves you OR wants to BE with you.

 

PERIOD.

[twistedapart1]

But the MM is a packaged deal. He is a father and you want those children's father. You have to learn to adjust to handling all four. The only way to do that is to deal with all four, just as their mother did. She had to learn on the job. She didn't send one or two back until she adjusted and figured out how to best handle the situation. She figured it out as she went. Nobody gets a handbook with a child. WE all had to learn on the job.

 

Hmm. I'm sorry, but that made me chuckle. You are still not making any sense. I'm sorry, but according to that train of thought, she birthed all four at once! As far as my knowledge, she had one at a time and adjusted as time wore on and pregnancies elapsed.

[twistedapart1]

Gwyneth, thanks for your thoughtful responses and experiences to share. It really means a lot to me.

Honestly, I don't plan on getting pregnant until he makes a sincere and honest commitment, which would include at least divorcing the wife and shacking up with me.

I know how men are. They scare easily. Getting pregnant now would not help any, although I really would love to have a child.

Also, I am sincerely sorry for your past experiences with immature and thoughtless men. Try not to ever blame yourself. You did what was right at the time, no matter how painful.

TC

[Gwyneth]

Gwyneth, thanks for your thoughtful responses and experiences to share. It really means a lot to me.

Honestly, I don't plan on getting pregnant until he makes a sincere and honest commitment, which would include at least divorcing the wife and shacking up with me.

I know how men are. They scare easily. Getting pregnant now would not help any, although I really would love to have a child.

Also, I am sincerely sorry for your past experiences with immature and thoughtless men. Try not to ever blame yourself. You did what was right at the time, no matter how painful.

TC

 

I'm happy I was helpful to you. I tried sending you a private message but you do not have that enabled. Think long and hard before you do get yourself pregnant--it's a really huge decision.

[RecordProducer]

I hate to say this as it sounds corny, but he swept me off my feet and is so charming and sexual (important since I have a very high sex drive). Just about everything I've ever looked for in a man.

If sex and fun are everything you look for in a man, then keep him as a toy to play with. Why marry him?

 

If he proposes, tell him that he will get an answer after the divorce is finalized. I personally would hate to see a marriage with four kids falling apart, let alone me being the cause. If the mother is nasty, she will turn her children against you. Very soon you would find yourself in deep misery.

 

I assume that when you say that many women take care of their children as single mothers, it means that YOU also are prepared to do that. It's not about the mother, it's about the children and the father. They will be unhappy and they will resent him. And then he will become unhappy, too.

 

You imagine that everything will be peachy, but the circumstances of your relationship are promising a disaster.

[dazie11]

Why do you keep posting? Doesn't the fact that everyone thinks you are going down the wrong path give you a hint that you are making a mistake.

 

Any man that shops for OW while married is a complete POS, and the women encouraging these behaviors are no better. Don't you realize he is going to do the same to you, that is if he actually leaves his wife.

 

The fact that he says he regreys having the last 3 should tell you that he won't want to be there for your kids either. That makes me sick!

 

I feel sorry for his kids.

[Phateless]

For the past year, I have have this desperate urge to have children. Ok, I probably had thoughts of having children even when I was in high school. I was always very maternal and took care of my neices for several years starting from my late teens.

Now I don't necessarily want to destroy my body, unless he offered to pay for some reconstructive surgery. Right now at my new job, I cannot afford it, unless I take out a loan on my home, which I really rather not do.

Plus, I am worried about him being overwhelmed with his responsibilities with his other four children. He keeps acting like he wants to impregnate me!!!! The past weekend, I noticed in his suitcase that he had an engagement ring- one that was unbelievable sparkly and beautiful. I'm wondering what that was about, but since he had to rush home due to his child being ill, maybe he never got the chance to propose. Is it illegal to propose to another woman while you are still married. LOL Probably not.. but I need some extra committment before I put myself into any compromising positions such as getting pregnant.. plus surgery appointments already lined up after the pregnancy.

I'm guessing we'd have my entire place to ourselves- he would move in and his wife would be left to take care of his four children on her own. Although I wouldn't mind two of them staying with us. I had such a blast with his kids- even during their wild and defiant moments. He and his kids would be the perfect family for me.

I have a very beautiful home that I purchased six years ago all paid off and really no worries financially.

I hate to say this as it sounds corny, but he swept me off my feet and is so charming and sexual (important since I have a very high sex drive). Just about everything I've ever looked for in a man.

 

I haven't read the thread, but I want to point out that ANY commitment he makes to you is worthless. He already made a commitment to his wife, and look what happened there. I know you've heard it before, but here it is again. BAD IDEA!

 

Good luck!

[ICallsEmAsISeesEm]

Just kind of laughing at the word 'commitment.'

 

This married loser wouldn't know the MEANING of it. He's already got himself a litter of kids with his first wife, and the stupid ass is making noise about getting his side dish knocked up, too?

 

Just think of the child support obligations for this dunce. He'll be living in a cardboard box if wifey boots his sorry ass out and starts the child support train a'rollin'.

[PLAYBRAT]

All I can say is.....this guy MUST have a BIG Twinkie.....

I can see no other redeeming factors in this situation.....

[noforgiveness]

All I can say is.....this guy MUST have a BIG Twinkie.....

I can see no other redeeming factors in this situation.....

 

 

No twinkies are wonderful in your mouth apparently the thought of this twinkie in your mouth is "yuck"

 

gwenyth is all oral sex yuck to you or is this guy just gross or something?

[NoIDidn't]

Thanks everyone for seeing that I wasn't twisting her words at all. Just restating back to her how conflicting and contradictory they are.

 

But, hey. What do I know? I get to adjust to having four kids. I feel sorry for any stepparent walking into that as they must REALLY WANT to do it.

[jj2007]

"What you seem to fail to understand is that you can't "get used to them a little at a time". Children are not like diets. You can't adjust them to meet your needs. It simply would cause more problems to only invite a few of them over at a time."

 

Completely disagree! What do you think happens when a child wants to visit his grandparents and another wants to stay home with mommy? You are completely out of line with that view.

 

I was trying to stay out of this but, do you have any children? I could be wrong but I don't think you do nor do I think you need any but I know with my boys ESPECIALLY if it's somewhere different and new they don't say "I want to stay with mommy" they say "I wanna go too! Why can't I go too! That's not fair! ect.

 

I really feel sorry for these children.

Does you MM realize how selfish you are?

He probably does. Hey, I bet that's what attracted him to you!

You guys deserve each other!

[RecordProducer]

No twinkies are wonderful in your mouth apparently the thought of this twinkie in your mouth is "yuck"

 

gwenyth is all oral sex yuck to you or is this guy just gross or something?

I would refrain from too much curiousity if I were you. It's Gwyneth's personal thing and no one's business to request additional information.

[sb129]

If you end up with this man, you will spend the rest of your days supporting him so that he can pay child support for four children plus alimony to his wife. If you think he can't afford things now, just wait until he moves in with you and G_d forbid gets you pregnant. Then he will have your household, his wife's household, your child and his other four children as financial burdens.

You think his wife is "mean" and "nasty" now? Just wait til you see her divorce lawyers in action. Let's hope you aren't in an AOA/CC state, because she could come after you too.

 

Get used to scraping by with you footing most of the bill, because that is the best you can hope for with this guy.

 

WORD to Lucrezia! What a brilliant post. Its true too. My exMM was BROKE after the divorce. And boy did it get draining.

 

Twisted -

 

I am stunned at your posts and responses here. Firstly I have never met a woman with a strong maternal feelings who's primary concern was plastic surgery after pregnancy. What an astoundingly superficial thing to be thinking of! There are women all over the world who have children and have not had plastic surgery and many of them have gotten their bodies back into shape through proper diet and exercise. Regardless you appear to be thinking more of your body than of your potential child. That does not sound like strong maternal feelings to me.

 

Exactly. I could not believe my eyes when I read that. If you don't want your body to be "destroyed", don't have kids. Simple. If you really really wanted kids, you wouldn't care.

 

I have a friend who would sell her soul to the devil to get pregnant. She would gain 200lbs she wants to get pregnant THAT badly.

 

But she can't. And she has a lovely husband and they are devastated.

People like you are in effect rubbing it in the faces of people like my friend. Its sickening.

 

Here we go again. Nothing counts but me, me, me.

Lol. Yup. Motherhood is going to be a MAJOR shock to the system of someone this selfish.

 

Hmm. I'm sorry, but that made me chuckle. You are still not making any sense. I'm sorry, but according to that train of thought, she birthed all four at once! As far as my knowledge, she had one at a time and adjusted as time wore on and pregnancies elapsed.

 

Oh yeah. Having a toddler and a new baby is a nightmare. Try having THREE small children and a new baby. Anyone with four kids gets my respect.

 

What happened to the "engagement ring"? Has it re-surfaced yet?

[IWALH]

I thought Twisted might be a troll based on previous posts.

 

Now I am sure of it.

 

Please stop indulging her....

[NoIDidn't]

Oh yeah. Having a toddler and a new baby is a nightmare. Try having THREE small children and a new baby. Anyone with four kids gets my respect.

 

What happened to the "engagement ring"? Has it re-surfaced yet?

 

Been there, done that. Twice!!!! Got the t-shirt. I WISH someone would have come to me talking about they wanted one child but not the other and called that giving me a break!!!

 

Unfortunately, twisted seems to be responding without really considering what is actually being said. We are being accused of twisting her words, but she is definitely twisting ours into that haven't been said.

 

Of course, the Mom gets to get used to having them. One of the benefits of *most* pregnancies is that we usually don't have them all at one time. Unless of course we have twins, triplets, quadruplets, or something else.

 

I wonder what the Hospital Staff would think if a mother of multiples was dead serious about not taking all the kids home at once so that she could get used to it. Some may say it jokingly, but no woman that has actually birthed and loves children would want to separate siblings to suit herself.

 

Oh well. Thank G-D I've never had the twins that run in both my H and my families. Whew!!!

[sb129]

I thought Twisted might be a troll based on previous posts.

 

Now I am sure of it.

 

Please stop indulging her....

 

Oh... its fun. Yeah, I thought this thread had a bit of eau de troll.

[Gwyneth]

This is a thread gone wrong. The girl comes here for support and once again, same as I have dealth with, a Lot of negative feeback to her. Give the woman a break! Support her for the choices she needs to make, but kindly let her know she may get hurt. c'mon! I doubt she's a troll--why, cuz she wants to have another man's baby? That makes her a troll? That's not fair.

 

Hun, you are dealing with a lot of negativity here. I"m sorry--I know what it's like. Hang in there and follow your heart. Walk away from this thread before you get hurt by what you read--if you haven't already.

 

It's just so silly the things I see some of you write to us OW.

[reboot]

I doubt she's a troll--why, cuz she wants to have another man's baby? That makes her a troll? That's not fair.

Gwyneth, you should go find an internet slang dictionary. No one is calling her a troll because she wants to have someone's baby. A troll is someone who, for instance (and in the context of a forum like this), makes up stories just to cause trouble. i.e. They are saying that they don't believe any of the OPs story actually happened.

[NoIDidn't]

Gwyneth, you should go find an internet slang dictionary. No one is calling her a troll because she wants to have someone's baby. A troll is someone who, for instance (and in the context of a forum like this), makes up stories just to cause trouble. i.e. They are saying that they don't believe any of the OPs story actually happened.

 

 

That, and trolls constantly twist what is said to them to intensify opposition to whatever it is that they are posting about.

 

The story may be real. There are indeed people like this out there. But they usually aren't interested in the internet because watching real responses is much more fulfilling to them.