MM's coworker asked if I'm his girlfriend...

[LittleFlower]

LittleFlower

.

 

You really think that no one will tell, all it takes is someone to take a dislike to you or MM and BANG !, your secret is out.

Oh Well!!!!

 

You sound so proud of yourself.

Please, show me proof of where I sound "Proud" of myself! I do not believe I expressed pride anywhere in this thread.

 

Hmmm let me think ? this statement perhaps. Oh Well !!!!

 

"/gf. I do not think he thinks I'm his gf--we never talked about that. We never discussed what we are, other than friends with benefits.

 

quote]

 

What benefits exactly?

Who is actually benefitting, not his wife, that's for sure.

 

Quote:

LOL

 

Yes, I have seen it and touched it, but it has Never been anywhere near my mouth. Yuck. I said He takes his winky wink out--I don't take it out for him.

 

 

 

His Winky Wink ????? WTF ??? how old are you? You certainly don't sound mature enough to be in this 'relationship ' with him. Give it up and go find a single boy.

[KenzieAbsolutely]

are you too ashamed to tell the truth to people who ask?

 

asking, not judging, so just answering the question will do, and i only ask because if there's nothing to be ashamed of, why can't you answerthem honestly? what does it matter if people know about? if you don't feel you're doing anything wrong, shout it from the rooftops.

[Mustang Sally]

Gwyneth -

I have a sincere question about your relationship with this MM. If this has been beat to death, already, then please just direct me to the link for the thread and I'll go read it for myself.

 

But, why, exactly, do you have a "snuggling" relationship with this man, but no sex? Just trying to understand your situation and where you are coming from. That's all.

 

Thanks.

[Gwyneth]

Gwyneth -

I have a sincere question about your relationship with this MM. If this has been beat to death, already, then please just direct me to the link for the thread and I'll go read it for myself.

 

But, why, exactly, do you have a "snuggling" relationship with this man, but no sex? Just trying to understand your situation and where you are coming from. That's all.

 

Thanks.

 

I had an abortion years ago and since then I just do not jump into sex. It's terrifying for me, still. I want to be in a secure relationship before I have sex with someone.

 

OwlOK...now I'm a little confused. You've said:

 

Quote:

You misread what I said. I said we kiss, snuggle, hug, talk, hold hands, but do not have sex of any sort.

 

And you've said:

Quote:

LOL

 

Yes, I have seen it and touched it, but it has Never been anywhere near my mouth. Yuck. I said He takes his winky wink out--I don't take it out for him.

 

This is mutually exclusive. While its not the actual "act"...its sexual activity. Given this, I can see why you'd call him 'lover', even if he's not.

 

Can you see why this might throw people off in understanding what's going on?

 

It also sounds to me like the two of you have completely different 'intentions' here. You're not interested in a sexual relationship...he clearly is.

 

You asked if we had oral, and I said no. Touching and having sex are not the same. My doctor touches my private parts--does that mean I'm having sex with her?

 

 

 

LittleFlower

 

Quote:

LOL

 

Yes, I have seen it and touched it, but it has Never been anywhere near my mouth. Yuck. I said He takes his winky wink out--I don't take it out for him.

 

 

 

His Winky Wink ????? WTF ??? how old are you? You certainly don't sound mature enough to be in this 'relationship ' with him. Give it up and go find a single boy. Today 3:51 PM

 

This winky wink thing came from a thread from a week or two ago where I think I or someone else called the male body part a winkie. So before you judge and insult, why don't you find out all your facts?

[Owl]

You asked if we had oral, and I said no. Touching and having sex are not the same. My doctor touches my private parts--does that mean I'm having sex with her?

 

I didn't ask if you had oral, that was someone else.

 

And to answer your question...yes, if her intent is to provide sexual pleasure for you or for herself...pretty much anything other than that exam.

 

But I'm guessing that maybe you might have known that distinction already?

[Gwyneth]

I didn't ask if you had oral, that was someone else.

 

And to answer your question...yes, if her intent is to provide sexual pleasure for you or for herself...pretty much anything other than that exam.

 

But I'm guessing that maybe you might have known that distinction already?

 

Ooops, sorry about that..

 

And about the intentions of he and I...what man doesn't want to have sex with a female--especially one he is close to? I have said that I do want to have sex with him, I just have a bit of control when it comes to that.

 

I am a human being...I do get horny.

[justice]

I was shocked, to say the least

 

I shreeked "NOOOOOO," and then MM said to the guy, "what kind of question is that?"

 

It started by the guy asking if I know MM, and I said "something like that." Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

 

Anyway, my question for all you OW is, when asked a question like this, what do you usually say in response?

 

Afterward, MM and I talked about it, as he was still surprised the guy asked if I was the girlfriend, and I kind of turned the situation around saying to MM that we are nothing because he insisted no feelings--just pleasure (no strings attached). I can tell he didn't like my response but...Oh Well!!!

 

But his girlfriend? That's a little extreme.

 

 

A couple of people who my ex husband thought liked him and who he thought were keeping his lil fling a secret from me, actually outed him and the ow to me. They made it a point of calling me and letting me know, of course by this point I already knew anyway.

 

So don't start thinking you all are safe there at work, that's the last place you should feel that way. I see a d day in the making. Good luck with that.

[Gwyneth]

What is D Day? Discovery day? Doomed day?

 

Well, it is what it is. If his friends out him, then they out him. Hey, whatever. She knows something is up--she isn't stupid. She might be playing clueless and be in denial, but she has had more than enough clues that hubby is being unfaithful. He doesn't seem to care much that his coworkers know.

[LittleFlower]

 

 

Quote:

LOL

 

Yes, I have seen it and touched it, but it has Never been anywhere near my mouth. Yuck. I said He takes his winky wink out--I don't take it out for him.

 

 

 

His Winky Wink ????? WTF ??? how old are you? You certainly don't sound mature enough to be in this 'relationship ' with him. Give it up and go find a single boy. Today 3:51 PM

 

This winky wink thing came from a thread from a week or two ago where I think I or someone else called the male body part a winkie. So before you judge and insult, why don't you find out all your facts?

 

Oh come on, grow up, let him back to his wife and stop this, you and he are going to hurt people, or does that not bother you. I will judge you if I like, what you are doing is wrong, and I'm sorry if you feel insulted, but your behaviour is insulting to his wife.

 

Winkie or not, I still think you are way in over your head here. You will be found out soon by his coworkers. You say that they all have secrets, that I cannot believe for a second.

 

You say you went into this relationship willingly, knowing he had a wife and family, you show no remorse, so therefore you put yourself up to be judged.

 

When the crap hits the fan, and it will, he's not gonna go running to you, he'll head home with his tail between his legs, right next to his winkie wink.

[justice]

What is D Day? Discovery day? Doomed day?

 

Well, it is what it is. If his friends out him, then they out him. Hey, whatever. She knows something is up--she isn't stupid. She might be playing clueless and be in denial, but she has had more than enough clues that hubby is being unfaithful. He doesn't seem to care much that his coworkers know.

 

 

D day is day of discovery. The day you all get busted. You may not be this way but you seem to be coming off as cold. She may be stockpiling evidence to make her case for divorce. Maybe she really and truly loves this man and is trying to make things work out with him. You seem to be so intelligent, why don't you take yourself out of the equation until he gets a divorce and can love you freely? I know it isn't easy, but then again nothing in life that is worthwhile ever is easy.

[Gwyneth]

D day is day of discovery.

 

Thank you.

 

Well, that is his problem. I am not worried about her. As I have said, I don't give a flying duck about her. I'll have her deported back to where she's from.

[luvmy2ns]

Thank you.

 

Well, that is his problem. I am not worried about her. As I have said, I don't give a flying duck about her. I'll have her deported back to where she's from.

 

If she's married to a US citizen, good luck with the deportation.

[Gwyneth]

If she married him for the card, which I think is the arrangement, then yeah, she can get deported. Whatever, I'm not here to further discuss that. I made my point, go my answers, I think I'm finished here.

[whichwayisup]

I'll have her deported back to where she's from.

 

Gwen, that's very cruel and cold hearted of you to even consider doing!! I know you hate his wife and are jealous of their marriage, hurt that he is married to her and not to you, but come on! You would try to get her deported, knowing that would not only kill whatever it is between you and her husband, but to her own kids?? That's just plain awful!

 

I doubt very much she's an illegal - If anything, she's protected because she has a family now in the States, is married and I bet she has insurance, or is covered under her husband insurance.

[justice]

Thank you.

 

Well, that is his problem. I am not worried about her. As I have said, I don't give a flying duck about her. I'll have her deported back to where she's from.

 

 

And do what? Step into her shoes after she's gone?

Since you are having an emotional affair with her husband, she's your problem too, whether or not you realize it.

Since when is it ever ok to hurt other people through actions of your own?

Sincerely, I hope you will be happy, the day will come when you'll have to own up to your part in the demise of their marriage or the demise of your relationship with him. Like I said before, Good Luck to you.

[Gwyneth]

Gwen, that's very cruel and cold hearted of you to even consider doing!! I know you hate his wife and are jealous of their marriage, hurt that he is married to her and not to you, but come on! You would try to get her deported, knowing that would not only kill whatever it is between you and her husband, but to her own kids?? That's just plain awful!

 

I doubt very much she's an illegal - If anything, she's protected because she has a family now in the States, is married and I bet she has insurance, or is covered under her husband insurance.

 

Wow, you are living in a dream world! When did I EVER say I'm jealous and hate that they are married? You must have me confused with someone else.

 

Bitters...I'm out of here. Bitters.

[whichwayisup]

If she married him for the card, which I think is the arrangement, then yeah, she can get deported.

 

YOU think? You have no proof of this, even if he has implied this to you, that they got married for that reason, then why has he continued to stay married to her, have more kids with her! You think the courts will believe you? You the OW in his life? If anything, they'll throw it out of court in a heartbeat.

[whichwayisup]

Wow, you are living in a dream world! When did I EVER say I'm jealous and hate that they are married? You must have me confused with someone else.

 

Bitters...I'm out of here. Bitters.

 

Do you want me to go back and dig out your older posts and some of the things you've said? I will if you like..I'm not the one who is confused here..

 

Gwen, I'm not bitter at all, I'm reacting to what you've said. It's just a plain awful thing you said you'd do, that's all. It's just so mean..

[whichwayisup]

deleted............

[Gwyneth]

YOU think? You have no proof of this, even if he has implied this to you, that they got married for that reason, then why has he continued to stay married to her, have more kids with her! You think the courts will believe you? You the OW in his life? If anything, they'll throw it out of court in a heartbeat.

 

They have no kids together. Geez, for the umteenth time!

 

I do not care to discuss this any further. I am here asking what I should have said when his coworker asked if I'm his gf. This conversation has gone way out of line now. Asking if I've had sex with him...why does that even Matter? That's beyond off-topic.

 

Let's stay on topic. Thank you.

[Gwyneth]

Do you want me to go back and dig out your older posts and some of the things you've said? I will if you like..I'm not the one who is confused here..

 

 

crazy? You are obviously taking out your anger on me. What did I do to you?

 

Goodbye! You are going onto Ignore now.

 

How is this at all helpful? I'm here to be helped...not harassed or judged. Wow...totally amazing.

[whichwayisup]

My mistake with the child thing, I forgot they don't have blood children together.

[justice]

Do you want me to go back and dig out your older posts and some of the things you've said? I will if you like..I'm not the one who is confused here..

 

Gwen, I'm not bitter at all, I'm reacting to what you've said. It's just a plain awful thing you said you'd do, that's all. It's just so mean..

 

WWIU

Give up, she can't even own up to her own feelings. You aren't the one whose bitter it's her. She is beyond reason here, can't even face up to the fact that she is hurting someone else with what she does. It just never ends, she is clearly the one who is bitter.

[whichwayisup]

Thanks Justice...I know. And she knows I've tried to help her from day one, she can go back and re-read some of the advice I've given her on older threads, and been thanked for by her - But, I'm done now.

[Gwyneth]

you are just a bunch of know-it-alls, aren't you? How am I bitter?

 

I don't even want an answer. I know I'm not--that is all that matters. I am a very happy person in a really great place in my life right now. I have everything I need. What more is there? I'm just tired of BSs and former OW whose affairs didn't work out for them, attacking OW around here. It's quite old and sad, really, to transfer your anger to current OW / OM like it's our faults your spouses cheated on you. I know I'll get an infraction for saying that, but seriously, it's not my fault or any other OM / OW's fault on here that your spouse was unfaithful. So stop taking it out on us. This thread has gone WAYYYYYYYyyyyYYY off topic. I asked whichwayisup to stop and yet they keep going and going. I have now placed whichwayisup on my ignore list--I'm done arguing with that person. It's not worth my while. I really do not care what anyone thinks about me on here--but please do not take your anger out on me. That is all I ask for.