Owl Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Gwen... What, EXACTLY, kind of help do you want? Do you want help in continuing your affair with MM? Do you want people to tell you that what you're doing is ok? Do you want outside, impartial advice on what people think would be your best course of action? What...EXACTLY...is it that you want from the people on this site? Link to post Share on other sites
LittleFlower Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 [quote=Gwyneth;1433364]I wouldn't be upset--why would I? We didn't have plans--we had an Idea. I know he's married and has a family. I went into this knowing all of this so there are No surprises or hurt feelings. They have no kids together. Geez, for the umteenth time! Hmmm a bit of a contradiction methinks Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 Gwen... What, EXACTLY, kind of help do you want? Do you want help in continuing your affair with MM? Do you want people to tell you that what you're doing is ok? Do you want outside, impartial advice on what people think would be your best course of action? What...EXACTLY...is it that you want from the people on this site? My question is Very straight forward...what should I have said when asked if I'm his girlfriend. I said No, which is the impression I have...I'm not his gf, nor do I intend to be. That's just silly. I also at the same time didnt' want to insult MM by saying NO the way I did because I don't want him to think I wouldn't be his gf under different circumstances. I just want to know how others would have answerd that question. I think that's a simple question Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 I really do not care what anyone thinks about me on here Then quit trying so hard to defend yourself after saying things that you now will piss people off. --but please do not take your anger out on me. Well thats what you're gonna get when you display your, "could give a crap" attitude about the pain you would cause if the W found out. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 My question is Very straight forward...what should I have said when asked if I'm his girlfriend. I said No, which is the impression I have...I'm not his gf, nor do I intend to be. That's just silly. I also at the same time didnt' want to insult MM by saying NO the way I did because I don't want him to think I wouldn't be his gf under different circumstances. I just want to know how others would have answerd that question. I think that's a simple question Well this guy asked the question because he is on to you and your MM...and all I can say is.....good! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 Then quit trying so hard to defend yourself after saying things that you now will piss people off. I am trying, and have now placed two on my ignore list. I feel a bit of relief now. Well thats what you're gonna get when you display your, "could give a crap" attitude about the pain you would cause if the W found out. It's jut a BAD idea that OW / OM are seeking help and BSs and former OPs are in here coming down hard on us OW/ OM. I don't ever see civility working in this room with so much clashing. It's like leaving rats and mice in the same cage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 Well this guy asked the question because he is on to you and your MM...and all I can say is.....good! Right...but how can he be on to us if he's Never seen us together? That's what I don't get. Either he's some kind of psychic genius or we are just that obvious, but I don't recall us being obvious. I must be dreaming... I'm so fond that some of you think it's hilarious and good that the MM and I will get busted. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 but how can he be on to us if he's Never seen us together? I know you can't read this as you have me on ignore now - But, you don't know if he has seen you together or not. Maybe he saw you two out to lunch, or walking together...Never say never. Good luck Gwen. Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 you are just a bunch of know-it-alls, aren't you? How am I bitter? I don't even want an answer. I know I'm not--that is all that matters. I am a very happy person in a really great place in my life right now. I have everything I need. What more is there? I'm just tired of BSs and former OW whose affairs didn't work out for them, attacking OW around here. It's quite old and sad, really, to transfer your anger to current OW / OM like it's our faults your spouses cheated on you. I know I'll get an infraction for saying that, but seriously, it's not my fault or any other OM / OW's fault on here that your spouse was unfaithful. So stop taking it out on us. This thread has gone WAYYYYYYYyyyyYYY off topic. I asked whichwayisup to stop and yet they keep going and going. I have now placed whichwayisup on my ignore list--I'm done arguing with that person. It's not worth my while. I really do not care what anyone thinks about me on here--but please do not take your anger out on me. That is all I ask for. No it may not be your fault for getting into the relationship with someone's spouse, but it is your fault for keeping on with it. I wasn't taking any anger out on you. Take from that what you like. What you write shows your bitterness, maybe you just haven't realized it yet. You can't just come into a public forum and ask for advice and only get what you want to hear. So put me on ignore too. Just shows how much you don't want to listen to reality speaking. I'm out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 No it may not be your fault for getting into the relationship with someone's spouse, but it is your fault for keeping on with it. I wasn't taking any anger out on you. Take from that what you like. What you write shows your bitterness, maybe you just haven't realized it yet. You can't just come into a public forum and ask for advice and only get what you want to hear. So put me on ignore too. Just shows how much you don't want to listen to reality speaking. I'm out. It is half my fault for getting into this R, yes. I admit that. Yes, it's is my fault, partially, that it's continuing. I didn't place you on ignore...did you want me to? I didn't specify who is taking their anger out on whom...or me in general, I am just saying it seems that Overall there are some people on here who are taking their anger out on the OPs. I don't think that's fair. Maybe I am bitter. I admitted I'm selfish, but what could I be bitter about? And for someone to say that I'm jealous of his marriage is just wrong. I'm jealous of a marriage with a cheating spouse? Please...that's just crazy talk. To be jealous of a marriage is crazy talk. EAch marriage is specific. I don't want to be married--not right now at least. Reality isn't speaking about what I came here for anyway. I asked a question and I get questions and advice thrown out to me that wasn't asked for. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 The problem is, everyone that says anything you don't like is "angry and bitter". It really doesn't matter what they say or how they phrase it. You don't want advice, you want validation. Why don't you just say so? I've noticed every thread you start winds up being the exact same thread in the end. You have my permission to put me on ignore too. Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 It is half my fault for getting into this R, yes. I admit that. Yes, it's is my fault, partially, that it's continuing. I didn't place you on ignore...did you want me to? I didn't specify who is taking their anger out on whom...or me in general, I am just saying it seems that Overall there are some people on here who are taking their anger out on the OPs. I don't think that's fair. Maybe I am bitter. I admitted I'm selfish, but what could I be bitter about? And for someone to say that I'm jealous of his marriage is just wrong. I'm jealous of a marriage with a cheating spouse? Please...that's just crazy talk. To be jealous of a marriage is crazy talk. EAch marriage is specific. I don't want to be married--not right now at least. Reality isn't speaking about what I came here for anyway. I asked a question and I get questions and advice thrown out to me that wasn't asked for. Why then are you continuing with this relationship? You could probably get anyone you wanted. I figured I was one of the ones you were putting on ignore. Sometimes, Gwyneth, it seems as though there is jealousy and bitterness towards this man's wife and his marriage to her. I'm seeing that in some of your comments and some of the things you are writing. Point is, he is married and is apt to stay that way. Don't you want someone who you don't have to hide? I'm not saying go out there and get yourself a single guy and get married, I'm just saying that wouldn't it be better to have someone who doesn't have a wife? That way you could start off clean and fresh and not have all this turmoil regarding the other person's spouse. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about here, but it seems as if you really don't care about causing another human being pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 Not really because at this point in my life, I really do not have time for a real boyfriend. I have too much going on career wise and personally. This works out well for me because it's a no strings attached deal and a "see you when convenient" deal. Some of you come off on most OW as if you are attacking them, just by the things you ask. That is why most threads OW begin ends up the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 Things that went wrong in this thread: Telling me to grow up, that I'm cold hearted (direct insult), that I'm jealous of his marriage (bad assumption). These kinds of things are really uncecessary and something I'd just never say to anyone and who would put up with being called these things? Would any of you? Insults are not allowed around here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 Examples of why I became angry: His Winky Wink ????? WTF ??? how old are you? You certainly don't sound mature enough to be in this 'relationship ' with him. Give it up and go find a single boy. Oh come on, grow up, let him back to his wife and stop this This person thinks I'm a child. I know you hate his wife and are jealous of their marriage, hurt that he is married to her and not to you This person must personally know me and read my personal diary?!? Do you want me to go back and dig out your older posts and some of the things you've said? I will if you like..I'm not the one who is confused here.. Quite appalled that this person would go to the extremes to dig up things I said to prove a point. Kind of creepy, if you ask me. Minus these posts and this thread would be just fine. Sometimes people say things they do not thin will hurt others, but guess what? They do hurt others. All I ask is that you think before you type what you are going to say to not just me, but the other OPs on here. I think then this board will be better off. Link to post Share on other sites
justice Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Not really because at this point in my life, I really do not have time for a real boyfriend. I have too much going on career wise and personally. This works out well for me because it's a no strings attached deal and a "see you when convenient" deal. Some of you come off on most OW as if you are attacking them, just by the things you ask. That is why most threads OW begin ends up the same. I've been at LS for over a year now. Not once have any of the ow ever really attacked me, nor I them. There has been an exchange of advice given and taken, even if I didn't like what was said at least I did accept it as due because, as I've said, it's a public forum. Some of us here are bitter, bitter at the ow's who won't stop seeing the men that we trusted and loved and were betrayed by, no it isn't all the OW's fault, but fifty percent of it is their fault. In those cases, where the OW refuses to admit to any wrong doing there is always going to be bad feelings and anger presenting itself. After all, if the OW would refuse to further engage in an affair with the spouse, there wouldn't be an affair still going on. All I wanna know is why do you keep on doing it when it doesn't look or seem like the husband or wife will not leave? What is there to gain from that? What does it accomplish? It just seems so selfish. Not only of the OW but also of the husband or wife. None of the situation is right, it can never be right when it puts asunder the vows that were made in front of God and family. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted December 3, 2007 Senior Moderators Share Posted December 3, 2007 Regrettably, almost all threads in this category evolve into nasty, personal exchanges and go way off topic. I don't quite know why this happens. I do hope all people who come here will look inside themselves to see if they are part of the discord or if they contribute to making the category a thoughtful and positive place for people to come for rational comments and advice. For now, this thread will be closed for lack of new ideas and because it has degenerated into off topic, unnecessary bickering and bantering. Link to post Share on other sites
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