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Posted

There was this girl that was this formitable love-creature that I have had upon me in a tickling fancy matter but to this I will also tell you that I have largerly created this intercourse of this female in my own mind. The other thing I will also tell you is that yon little love-female walks past the palm tree on her way to the food court. It has been traditioned I have observed by taking copious notes of her actions that she passes the handicapped man at the security desks to which I will also tell you that I left him a little note to be beseech the love-image of my female

 

MY (obsenity deleted) MOM KEEPS WALKING IN ON ME IN A SELF PLEASURE MANNER. WHAT IS A REGULAR GUY TO DO???????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted

YOU ASK: "WHAT IS A REGULAR GUY TO DO???????????????????????????????"

 

It might help if you started by writing posts that people could understand. If you are high on drugs or alcohol, a first step would be to cease taking those substances. If you are writing this stuff straight, consider getting an MRI.

 

It is my opinion that your writing is NOT that of a "regular guy."

Posted

Hey Dave1234,

 

If your Mom keeps walking in on you in a "self pleasure manner", simply explain to her that that is not the manner in which you'd like her to enter your room. You might, for example, ask her to consider entering your room in a quizzical manner, or perhaps even in a self-absorbed manner. Just a thought.

Posted

Get your own apartment. Problem solved.

  • Author
Posted

To the favor of which you have enhanced my knowledge in it a criticismed-manner I will tell you that I, Dave thank you friends.

From time-to-time I have desires such as maybe just a little bit of a pearl-necklace and some maybe just some little bit of a dicklay and to those of you who BADGER me!!!!!, Dave about my use of this term, I will tell you that this is simply just what is refered to as a COLLOQUILISM and so maybe is not me that is umm in the dark BUT MAYBE IT IS ALL OF YOU who spend yon sat-urday sexual nites ona computer and internet, wait what a mad fancy this is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for you who tell me to move out of the house and to get an apartment i will tell you that i have no money and I have no job or acquatince and this precious love-creature at mall I would dedicate all my time and energies to posses her. does nobody understand what a guy wants.

 

My closet creaks when opens will wd40 help in a stop-creak method so that my damn mom won't alarm me such in a self pleasure manner thrice daily.

Posted

So, what are you trying to say???

Posted
It has been traditioned I have observed by taking copious notes of her actions that she passes the handicapped man at the security desks

 

Thats a great line. I have no idea what he means tho. Is she passing actions or notes? I thought he was taking the notes?

 

Hold on, I need to add some exclamation points. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

i will tell you that i have no money and I have no job or acquatince

 

Ahh, makes sense now...

  • 5 months later...
Posted

You need to seek profesional help dude. "love creature" and "dicklay" come on who talks like that?

Posted

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

OMG TONY!!!! I have freaking TEARS IN MY EYES IM LAUGHING SO FREAKING HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

THIS IS THE FUNNNIEST THREAD I HAVE YET TO SEE!!!!!!!!:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

 

 

 

As for the poster... DAVE DOOD!!!!

 

SO basicly what your saying is when your fantisizing about a girl at the food court in the mall who walks by a handicapped guy whom you have fantasized as well of passing him a note and she proceeds to carry on in your fantasy........ Your playing SLAPPY SLAPPY, WACKITY WACKITY, PULLING ON YOUR MEAT TUBE, CHOKING YOUR CHICKEN.... ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC...... Your mother walks in and INTERRUPTS YOU self pleasuring OR is your mom walking in your ROOM while she is SELF PLEASURING HERSELF??????? 3 times a DAY???????? DOOD... maybe do it while your showering or bathing... do you really NEED to do it 3 times a day ???????

Posted

Dave, when you whack off are you dreaming of the girl or the handicapped man?

Posted
Dave, when you whack off are you dreaming of the girl or the handicapped man?

 

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg

 

dave..... you remind of that guy on the simpsons that owns the comic book shop..... i swear....

Posted

Ever heard of locking the door? I mean if she keeps walking in on you while your busy :rolleyes: If you dont do it behind locked doors or somewhere more private you must like getting caught.

What does she say to you and does it turn you on (getting caught)?

Three times a day. How old are you?

Why dont you approach the girl at the mall?

All she can say is yes or no .

If she says yes, go for it!

If she says no , you can still admire her from afar and beat your meat all you want. You control your fantasy.

Just leave your mom out of it! Thats sick man!

 

 

Happy chicken chokin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted

Dave.....you read WAY to many of those old-boring-beyond-belief novels. Get a JOB!

Posted
Happy chicken chokin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

ROFL

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