lucklessinlove Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 There's this guy I like named Alan.. He's very different. He puts up an a**h*** front so that people won't get close to him. His plan didn't work with me however, b/c I saw through the front. He's got cancer so he pushes girls away and only goes for girls that don't like him. He loves his ex g/f Melissa, but she only uses him for sex and he knows that(he's even said it to me before). From his conversations with me I've come to the conclusion that he goves for girls that don't love him so that when he dies in 7 yrs. like the docs have told him he will ( I like to see the glass half full, so I say he could have 20 years or 20 minutes..just like the rest of us) then he will not leave behind a girl who loves him. He seems to chase girls that he thinks will not be emotionally affected by his death. Like here's one of our convos.. Alan"I'll be here for you as long as I can, but I will just end up hurting you like all the a**h***s that have been in your life." Me--> "How are you going to do that?" Him--> "I'm supposed to die in 7 yrs." Me-->"Alan, that's 7yrs that I get to spend with you and have memories of you. I'll be here for you as long as you will let me." Whenever Alan and I are together He is always touching me somehow. Like he's cuddlin with me, or has his arm around me.. or he's playing with my hair. He even has pet names for me. He was always flirting with me. When he and I were both at the college he would constantly ask me to come visit him in his dorm room(he lived one floor below me). Alan and I were "friends with benefits" for awhile, but I put a halt to that b/c i have feelings for him. Alan tells me that we are just friends all the time.. but his actions are very different. He geniunely cares about me. He can tell when my world is falling apart even when I put up my smiley front. He is always around when I need him. He can even tell in my IMs when I am upset. He takes care of me. Anytime I tell him I'm interested in a guy and tell him about the guy he proceeds to tell me that the guy is gay or an a**h***. The fact that He says this makes me feel like he likes me as more. Right now I don't know what I am supposed to do. I have feelings for him and everytime I look at another guy I compare him to Alan. But Alan is pursuing melissa.. I want him to be with me. Friends tell me that I shouldn't talk to him unless he talks to me first so that he will see what he's missing. I've tried to do that but I end up talking to him first. I've tried to forget about him...but his friendship is valuable to me and the feelings are strong. Somebody please give me some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lucklessinlove Posted June 2, 2003 Author Share Posted June 2, 2003 Well I've been calling Alan and talking to him on the phone for the past 3 days now. He tells me to call and when we talk he seems very happy... and when it's time to say bye he sounds very sad when he says bye to me... I'd really appreciate some feedback on this. I've read some advice that Tony's given before and would really appreciate seeing how he felt on the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Alan has very low self esteem. This crap he's throwing around about dying in seven years is a bunch of BS. No medical doctor in the universe can predict death out that far. It's just an excuse to underscore his sense of worthlessness, if it's even true at all. Alan only goes for bitches who won't give him the time of day. Probably because he feels unworthy of a nice relationship....has to do with his childhood is my guess. Until he gets over that, you don't stand a chance with him. That's why his interest in you peaks everytime you mention another guy and there's a chance you may become unavailable. Melissa is emotionally unavailable to him so he keeps her around. But if things were to get closer, he would let her go in a heartbeat. You're wasting your time with this dude. But the very second you find a decent boyfriend, he'll come at you with a vengeance. Don't fall for that either. You may like this guy for the very reason he likes Melissa...because he is unavailable and a challenge. Enjoy his friendship and go find a guy who's going to live at least another 16 years, five months, 23 days and four hours...and one who would like to enjoy a special romance with you. Let's get real here. If people knew they were going to die in seven years, they would be soaking up all the love and romance they could squeeze into that time. Link to post Share on other sites
airforcebabe77 Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Upon reading yr story I felt like you could use some advice. This alan although u may have feelings for him he may not have the same feeling in return or he might but he might be hiding them from you. Alan is afraid to take risks he become comfortable in his own sad lil world and would be afraid to change this. He uses his disease to create a sad pitful life. Megan is just some girl he can use he can control her. You need to break away from this guy he is no good for you hunny! Be strong u can do it! Think of all the guys you've known do any of them treat you this way if the answer is no think why they dont. Alan just uses his disease to make people feel sorry for him. I mean no one knows how long they are gonna live so live every mintue for what is worth! But I can understand were u are coming from having been down the same road. Just remember keep smiling and there are more fishes in the sea..ta ta Link to post Share on other sites
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