Myz_Heavenly Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 I met this guy through a texting service 2 mths ago and we have communicated, via phone, or online daily every since. I really like him and we have so much in common. We both have the same religious beliefs, are of the same church denomination, have both been divorced, and want the same thing out of a relationship, i.e., someone who is truly ready to settle down. (no club hoppers...) He is visiting me for the first time in two weeks and we are making plans for him to move to my state next summer and we want to try being roommates to see where the relationship goes. My question is what is the big deal with ppl judging LDRs? If the two ppl in the relationship visit each other consistently and basically do everything a couple that lives 10 minutes apart would do, what is the difference when it comes to making decisions, like moving in together after a short period of time?...I need advice b/c my father is very judgemental and although he has a live in girlfriend, I don't think he would be so quick to adjust to me doing the same thing. HELP PLEASE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
beyondthegraysky Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 I think you should do what you feels right. If you are in love it shouldnt matter what the distance is, give it a go Id say! Link to post Share on other sites
purplebubbles Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 I think you should do what you feels right. If you are in love it shouldnt matter what the distance is, give it a go Id say! I agree wholeheartedly. I think that there is a stigma attached to long distance relationships, because a lot fail. A lot of people just aren't cut out for them. I think you should proceed with caution, but definately don't let any pre-concieved notions of what a relationship, determine what yours CAN be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted December 4, 2007 Author Share Posted December 4, 2007 Thanx so much for the replies Purple and Beyond. This guy means a lot to me, and although this sounds so stereotypical, he is the only one I have really clicked with b/c we have so much in common and he makes me feel comfortable with myself first, which makes it easier to feel comfortable w/him. He has no exceptions when it comes to accepting me as I am, and that is what draws me closer to him emotionally. I never experienced that w/any boyfriends and unfortunately not even w/my ex-husband, which is why he became and ex. I always felt that in past relationships, they would half-heartedly accept me for me in hopes of molding me to what they wanted me to be. Of course, I have common sense, and as in any relationship, I will practice caution as I proceed. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Beauty28 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 Well in my personal experiences with LDR's, the reason why there is a stigma is because they are hard. When you start to have feelings for someone, naturally you want to see more and more of them. And sometimes people's schedules get in the way, and sometimes when you aren't around a person, you want to know what they are doing and where they are going. And most people do this because they aren't getting enough quality time with that person, so they think about them ALL THE TIME. BUT..... if there is true chemisty, and communication, then those obstacles can be overcome. But I believe that people shouldn't let distance hinder them from finding true love. The guy I am dating lives in Miami and I live in Denver... so far away but it feels like he is right here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted December 4, 2007 Author Share Posted December 4, 2007 That is soooo sweet Beauty28. I feel like my guy is here as well. We constantly communicate and it seems like every time I try to dial his number, my call won't go through, b/c he is trying to call me.... We are dealing with the distance thing by visiting each other, until he relocates here since he doesn't want to live in his home state any longer. He is from Jersey, and I'm from NC, so on the road we will be monthly. I love a challenge and I am looking forward to making it work b/c i feel he is worth it. We are both working our butts off to save us to rent a nice place, so time will tell... Link to post Share on other sites
Beauty28 Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 We constantly communicate and it seems like every time I try to dial his number, my call won't go through, b/c he is trying to call me.... Thats cute. I want to move to Miami with him. I really hate it here in Denver. Not because he is there but just because I'm a beach girl at heart. Anyhow.... I think your dad may just be trying to look out for your best interest and he probably thinks that you might get your heart broken..... Hopefully that doesn't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 I met this guy through a texting service 2 mths ago and we have communicated, via phone, or online daily every since. I really like him and we have so much in common. We both have the same religious beliefs, are of the same church denomination, have both been divorced, and want the same thing out of a relationship, i.e., someone who is truly ready to settle down. (no club hoppers...) He is visiting me for the first time in two weeks and we are making plans for him to move to my state next summer and we want to try being roommates to see where the relationship goes. My question is what is the big deal with ppl judging LDRs? If the two ppl in the relationship visit each other consistently and basically do everything a couple that lives 10 minutes apart would do, what is the difference when it comes to making decisions, like moving in together after a short period of time?...I need advice b/c my father is very judgemental and although he has a live in girlfriend, I don't think he would be so quick to adjust to me doing the same thing. HELP PLEASE!!! I can totally understand making a connection with someone almost immediately...sometimes it just happens! But seeing as how you haven't met this guy yet, I can understand why your dad would be "judgmental" about you two moving in together. You haven't met him yet...perhaps your father thinks you should wait to meet him before making any major decisions. I'm sure he's looking out for your best interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 I hope I don't get my heart broken either!! Yea, I can understand my dad looking out for my best interests, but he also has to realize I was already an adult when I met him for the first time since growing up. I am 24, have been married before and so far have led a life that is nothing but responsible, albeit I made some mistakes, but nothing major. I don't get into relationships just for the heck of it, but for the possibility of it leading somewhere and lasting. My biological father tends to react like he knows everything when it comes to certain things, especially men and what they want. He has been married twice...to my mom and someone else, and is working on his third marriage now. So I guess b/c of the mistakes he made and the way he is living now, he feels his advice is golden. I feel that BECAUSE of what he has done in the past, he has no room at all to judge. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 Thanx guys. I don't plan to move in with him immediately, but to get to know each other a few months first. And I think visiting and spending time with each other over the first half of '08 is sufficient time to at least know whether or not we want to live together. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Thanx guys. I don't plan to move in with him immediately, but to get to know each other a few months first. And I think visiting and spending time with each other over the first half of '08 is sufficient time to at least know whether or not we want to live together. I think that's a good idea. You'll get a better sense of your "fit" with him when you begin to interact with him. It's one thing to talk on the phone, etc...but it can change when you meet the person (i.e. how you respond to their mannerisms, etc). Getting to know someone is a very exciting phase. There's nothing like that high you get when you are getting to know him... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 That is so true...about the chemistry part. I tried to explain that to my guy to rationalize why I wanted to take the relationship slow and start making decisions after we meet. I think he is experiencing a bit of insecurity b/c of the distance and b/c I tend to be the Queen at with holding my true emotions, whereas he is sooooo open and wants me to know how he feels about me. I have feelings for him, but I feel like expressing them verbally or whatever will come more naturally after we meet in person. Link to post Share on other sites
beyondthegraysky Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 hey! i see you got a lot of replies i am glad things are going well Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 Thanx Beyond. Yea, I gotta few replies and I could always use more. I need all the advice I can get. LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
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