3rdI Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 Today is independence day. I have been struggling since he told me that he cheated. I caved and called the ow today. I was totally respectful and I should have done it sooner. The cheating was the least of my worries. He is so sick. He did so much crap it scares me and I have read TBF posts about her X.....this guy fit the profile to a T. I had some inkling but the depth of his bullcrap disgusts me. I called the OW and asked her to take him back/pick up his stuff and I packed it with a couple of helpers. She came by and picked his stuff up. I can't be happier. I was stressed out about how to get this L out of my house. Thank God I am free Link to post Share on other sites
spike7165 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 I am so happy for you. I am still lumbered with my ex's crap in my home because she left a family home for a guy living in a hotel with her 6 year old son! I called him as well and said he was welcome to her, gave him a few home truths which won't make any difference because they are both liars and told him to get a bloody apartment so she can take her stuff out. Good for you, I just wish I didn't have my sad moments and remember stuff from the past. I wish I could blot that out and just remember the cheating, lying, deceiving bitch for what she is... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 3rdI Posted December 4, 2007 Author Share Posted December 4, 2007 It is easier for me because I never trusted him and therefore, never fell in love with him. I wanted him to be "that" man but I knew deep down in my heart that he was a phony. So I held back and it has saved me a lot of heartache. My relationship lasted for about 1 year and we were engaged within six months officially. He sent alarm bells when he gave my a ring only after 1 month of dating. I knew that he was on a hard press because he saw that I was financially set and well entrenched in my career. I felt that he always wanted to be me instead of be WITH me. He wanted what I had for himself. He was weak and stupid. I mentioned before in another post that he didn't like to read and when he did it was like a third grader (slow with lips moving). I realized that day that I wasn't too sure about going through with a marriage. I was delivered. I was looking for an excuse and found it by digging and calling the other woman. It was a cheap shot probably but I took the out. I am glad that he told me that he was cheating. I am glad that he lied. I admit I was hurt but I wasn't hurt about him and his infidelity....I was hurt because I was asleep at the guard station and didn't 86 his a$$ from the start. He was never up to snuff but I wanted to make him into the man that I wanted and yet I felt that he could never meet my standards. He was small minded and small in other places (umhum) including his wallet. I accepted him because he catered to me and did everything I asked him to. He was very attentive but the pressure of keeping up the charade was too much pressure for him. He could not keep pretending to be something that he was not. Ultimately I feel a great responsibility in this and I do not have clean hands either....nobody is perfect. But I will no longer cast my pearls before swine. Link to post Share on other sites
compassion42 Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Congrats! It sounds like you took control and made some big changes. I'm happy for you and I think you are an inspiration for many LSer's who find themselves in bad relationships. Good for YOU!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 3rdI Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 It is pretty typical for me to eyeball it, call it out and deal with it. I do not know what took me so long this time. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and BOY! did it ever! I felt vindicated. I think more women need to put on their BOOTS and get to steppin. I am just going to be a lot more careful about what I do the next time. If I do not invest myself because I do not trust someone....I do not need to be with them. I do not know what I was thinking about...I was just busy with this crazy travel schedule that he used against me. I am really happy about my actions and now I need to move on and stop being bitter about it. I am more upset with ME than with him (I expected him to do this). I did not expect that I would be complicit. Now I can spend more time in a happier forum...sometimes seeing myself in other posts is disturbing. But I hope that others have learned how to be swift from me....peace out. Now for the STD testing...DAYUMIT. that mmmmrfrrr Link to post Share on other sites
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