What is "Support"?

[Gwyneth]

Before http://www.gloryb.com/, there was not a website that was supportive of the dissillusioned and demented person they call the "other woman." Back when I was first an "OW" in 2005, there was only loveshack (when searching through google). So I came here to get insight and find out what other people. were going through. That, inevitably, led to the demise of MM and I's relationship. I believed everything everyone said on here and therefore sabotaged anything that could have happpend between the two of us... because I believed he was just some old schmuck looking to get his rocks off. Whether or not that is actually true........ I wiill never jknow...

 

 

 

Therefore, once again, it's over and, I Have seen the light. So to speak.......

 

That's Great you learned quickly that the affair wasn't for you. I don't think ALL OW or even OM are a dissillusioned and demented person--I think Many OPs know what they are getting themselves into before going into it. I can only speak for myself, of course, but I knew what I was getting myself into. He told me wifey would probably call me as she scans each and every phone call he makes every month--and this was even before I came into the picture that she was doing this. He had to erase every woman he had in his phone--most of which were coworkers. His wife didn't want him calling Any woman even if it was a coworker and business related. Well that's what he says--I choose to believe him most of the time because boy, this man Cannot lie to save a soul.

 

This is one of the only sites I came across too when googling a forum for affairs. Actually, I don't remember if I was looking for a forum or just information. I love forums as they can be Very insightful--I just dislike uncecessary and hateful bashing of the sorts.

[Owl]

He told me wifey would probably call me as she scans each and every phone call he makes every month--and this was even before I came into the picture that she was doing this. He had to erase every woman he had in his phone--most of which were coworkers. His wife didn't want him calling Any woman even if it was a coworker and business related. Well that's what he says--I choose to believe him most of the time because boy, this man Cannot lie to save a soul.

 

Hmmm....this is a red flag of sorts.

 

MOST BS's don't get paranoid and start 'snooping' until they've had a reason to do so. My case as an example, I never 'checked up' on my wife until she had her affair. I'd always trusted her. That's the biggest hurt that the BS walks away from the affair with...the shattered trust.

 

The flip side is that most BS's will continue to check up at least periodically on their 'former WS' for years afterwards...because that shattered trust takes years to rebuild. Often, it will never reach the same level it was before.

 

I'd say that if she was already scanning his phone records, etc...BEFORE you came into the picture...odds are high he's been busted at this game before, and his wife is trying to 'trust but verify'. You may have a serial cheater for an MM in this case.

 

If he's lousy at lying, you might brush up on tactics people use when telling a lie, and directly ask him about that. Just a thought.

[luvmy2ns]

I understand hating the bashing, and I get a little shi**y myself on occasion. I'm trying to be better What irks me the most is people who go on and on and on (one I know on here for over 5 years) listening to the MM tell her all about how he plans to leave his wife the proverbial "one day." The reason it irks me is here is a perfectly good woman wasting years of her precious life. But I know - it's hers to waste. I just hate to see it happening to anyone.

[Gwyneth]

I understand hating the bashing, and I get a little shi**y myself on occasion. I'm trying to be better What irks me the most is people who go on and on and on (one I know on here for over 5 years) listening to the MM tell her all about how he plans to leave his wife the proverbial "one day." The reason it irks me is here is a perfectly good woman wasting years of her precious life. But I know - it's hers to waste. I just hate to see it happening to anyone.

 

 

I personally do not intend to be in this affair for long-term. I never had that set in my mind that I'd wait for him to leave her. I hate to see it happen to anyone too--the waiting for MM to leave his wife (or MW leave her husband). It saddens me that a woman would do this--but if you are in love with someone, then you kind of put up with it. I'm 26 and have a lot to live for--I'm not wasting my life on one guy. I did that with my ex whom I dated for 7 years. I don't see it as compelte waste of time, but I gave up a lot to give him 7 years of my youthful life. I don't want to subject myself to that Ever again

 

Owl,

 

Yeah, it is a RED flag LOL!!! Well the phone records do indicate he was the one calling me--not the other way around. I probably called him maybe a total of 5 times out of the 100s of times he called me. Supposidely she called the phone company and they told her who he text messages the most--I do not know if I believe that because I called My phone company, Verizon, and they said that they have no record of that. Anyway, before me there was this older woman that he would talk to on the phone. He says he never did anything with her other than talk on the phone--I choose to beleive him because it doesn't effect me one way or the other, but he said that his wife called her. He also said his wife was paranoid and insecure prior to that OW. Her ex husband cheated on her so that may be why she is this way with MM now. She has rights to be! My feeling is--leave your husband and find someone you know you Can trust if you are going to live a life of insecurities. What kind of marriage is that? She has to be married for financial reasons--that's why she stays. She needs someone to support she and her kid since daddy doesn't pay child support for his son.

 

Anyway, wifey changed his phone number and so now he calls me from his coworker's phone or I'll call him on his coworker's phone (cell phone). His coworker is completely fine with that (he's cool with me and invites me to hang out at his job--he's kind of MM's supervisor). Otherwise, he will email me via webmail from his cellular. He doesn't want to give me his new phone number because he doesn't want Her to call me again--he's doing all of us that favor. I agree with him--it's not worth it.

[OWoman]

The reason it irks me is here is a perfectly good woman wasting years of her precious life. But I know - it's hers to waste. I just hate to see it happening to anyone.

 

Who's to say it's a waste? Most people are rational beings and if the costs of something to them outweight what they're getting out of it heavily enough, or for long enough, they'll opt out. Only the person themself can make that call, because only they have all the information and only they know exactly what it is they're getting out of it, good or bad.