gagging at being asked to hlep out

[connie]

how do you go about dealing when some one wants you to do something for them and you just about like gag cuz you really dont want to do it yet you walk away and feel terribly asahmed of your self and they think you are lazy or selfish but you know that you are not neither lazy or selfish cuz you run around all day doing errands and what you enjoy and like but as long as no one comes up to you and asks you do to favours you are happy to go about yer day, does that make you selfish and lazy. if you say no they want to know why and you dont have a real reason cept that you just dont want to do it, then get look at you like to say she is not nice she is lazy she is selfish or is it my only guilt to make me feel these things when really they are not thinking those things but only i am thinking they think that way because i am the one feeling too guilty and even ashamed.

[Tony T]

It sounds like you've got a real problem. If you can be so easily guilt manipulated, you need to learn more assertiveness and control over your own destiny.

 

If somebody tries to make to me feel guilty because I choose not to do something they want me to do, it pisses me off so bad I go downtown and pay gypsies to place spells on them so they go impotent and get bad itches way up their butt for a week.

 

I am in total control of my time and what I want to do or not to do. And so are you. If you don't feel like doing something for somebody, just beg off very kindly...don't be snotty about it. If they make the slightest attempt to make you feel bad because you exercised your absolute right as a human being to refuse them, tell them to stick it in their ear.

 

YOU are responsible for how you feel about things. Don't blame these buttholes for your guilty feelings.. How you feel about anything is totally your option...but choosing to feel anything other than great is not being very nice to yourself.