I need your. I am obsessed!

[Pixie Lady]

This is my first post on this forum so be nice. I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for 11 months. Im 24 he's 22. The problem we are having is that I (a girl who has been in 2 long term relationships one lasting for 3 years the other for 4) have some how become the oposit of what I have always prided myself on. I get upset and angry if he has other plans. It's like Im obessesed with him. I always want to be in contact with him. I dont think he would ever cheat on me but he has started to notice this irrational side of me and wants to know where the cool "call me if you like" girl is gone. my friends have conflicting view on this change in me. Some think that I am so used to being the one in the relationship that is being chased after from my past experiences that I dont know how to handel it. Other's think that he should be more attentive. I really dont want to lose him as he is really amazing but my whiney behaviour is even starting to sicken me! I want to know how to break this trend of needing to see him. He thinks it's because I have no hobbies so he is the only thing I have to occupy my mind. He is in a band that are starting to become quite sucessful in Ireland so he has that in his life too. Is that it? Do I need a hobbie or do i need more attention? And if i need more attention is there something wrong with me that wasn't there before? Im so confussed. HELP!

[oppath]

There is probably a mixture of him not being as attentive as your past boyfriends, and you not having anything else going on.

 

What I would do? Find something you have always wanted to try, like photography or painting or dance or a kickboxing, and take a class in it two days a week. It will give you something to look forward to, maybe make new friends, and give you something to focus on besides him.

[Jasmine8719]

I know EXACTLY how you feel...you need a hobby so do I...I'm not sure if its because you were used to being chased, or if it really is you don't have anything else to occupy your mind...but for me it's I dont have anything else to occupy mind...I go to school and work full time but I just can't seem to get him out of my mind or ever want to stop being with him...my boyfriend wants me to live with him and I think it will cure me when I make the decision to do so...I try so hard to hang out with my other friends (and I do) but it still doesnt go away...I've been with my boyfriend for almost 1 1/2 and I honestly think I need more to do and to stick with that something..I work out now... I go shopping...So find something you love to do and try to seem more independent...like if he asks to hang out be like no I'm working out tonight(actually do it) so he can see that independent side and won't see you as being clingy or whiney...so try that...I think it's all in your head (and mine) thinking that he doesn't want to be around or isn't showing you enough attention...I try really hard to steer myself away from those thoughts because all it does is hurt the relationship when you bring it up...Women constantly need reassuring in relationships and guys dont neccessarily understand that even though they think there giving there all...so you have to make yourself more independent and do the self reasurance...and maybe talk to him and tell him how you feel...but I would work on being more confident in yourself...read Men are from Mars women are from venus it helps ALOT trust me. So good luck find something you love to do, stop thinking bad thoughts he's not cheating you guys are fine, and read the book

-Jasmine

[Pixie Lady]

Thanks a milllion guys. Things are much clearer in my head now.

Amanda-Rose_*

[over_emotional]

Hey i know im very young lol but im going through the same thing. I don't do anything like extra curricular activities and i barely ever go out unless it's with him, therefor i can't stop thinking about him at all. I know i act obsessed, i tell him like every 5 minutes i love you and i can see its starting to annoy him although i know he loves me. This is going to sound a little stupid but i feel there's a rope and im on one side and hes on the other side. I feel there is something in the middle of the rope trying so hard to snap in half leaving me and my bf falling apart. So i feel as if I am pulling and pushing myself closer towards him in fear of loosing him. I feel awful and I don't want to feel like im pressuring him, i know he's a good guy. So than whats my problem. I have been the one to be chased in the relationships where guys constantly nag me and repeat they love me, but this time i feel like im nagging him. In my relationships in the past however I didn't love the guys back. In this relationship now I strongly love him but I atleast feel he loves me back. I feel a gut feeling I need to talk to him and tell him how i'm feeling. The good thing is he knows and he remembers that i am a woman and we can express emotions more than they can. He had even told me that he is still getting used to showing his emotions more, funny thing is he used to sound a little obsessed himself in the beginning but he started working out, going to the gym, spending time with family and friends, and paying more attention in school. I know he still loves me but he had worked hard to try and not obsess on me because he used to alot and i felt i was nagged but now that i have nothing to do so i'm constantly thinking about him i want him to nagg. So i think if you feel comfortable you should call and tell him how you feel, start anything you enjoy like for example i enjoy art so i'll go to an art program. Occupy yourself, read a book like men are from mars and woman are from venus lol. I've been hurt sooo much in the past and I need to learn to let it go and trust my current love so I don't loose a great guy over my stupid trust issues lol. WOW I WROTE YOU A NOVEL LMAO @;}-- TAKE CARE --{;@