Why!!

[skeeter420]

I am having some issues! I just found out my boyfriend of seven years has been cheating on me since July. First off, I should say that this is NOT the first time this has happened, but I promise it's the last! I have gone through years of abuse from this man (I was 18 when we met, he was 21) He always told me that he never wanted to have kids, because he was afraid they would be like him. He is an alcoholic and abuses drugs. We bought a house together when I was 19, we have no children, thank God. This last May, we found out that he is bipolar. He ended up moving out of our house in October, without saying a word to me. I came home from work to find all his clothing gone, but his tools, and his old truck are all still here. My sister called me later that day, and told me what was going on, as she had found out from a mutual friend that he had been sleeping with this woman he works with. He waited two weeks after leaving before calling me, and then, all he talked about was her, and how he thought he had feelings for her, but he didn't and how he cared about me. He promised me that he would call me the next day, but he didn't bother to call me for another two weeks, and then told me how he was so sorry that he didn't even try to work things out with me, and how he missed living with me and that I was his best friend and all that nice stuff. I, of course, fell for it hook, line and sinker! He ended up coming over to my house the day before Thanksgiving, and after all his talk about wanting to work things out, I thought that was what we were going to talk about. Boy, was I wrong! He walked into my house and put HER cell phone on my table, and told me that he was nervous because he was expecting her to call, and he had lied to her and said that he was going to his friends house. He also told me that he had told this woman that he loved her, but he didn't mean it, he just said it because she was worried that he was going to come back to me. He also told me how her kids were spoiled and a long list of complaints about her. I told him that maybe he should leave, and not to call me or come and see me anymore and he had the nerve to start crying, like it was my fault!! I should point out that the woman he left me for is 38, and was also in a 9 year relationship at the time, and has two children with her ex. The thing that blows my mind is he is supposedly not drinking or doing any drugs at all! I mean, great for him, but why couldn't he have done that with me! I feel like I wasted 7 years of my life! Why does would he suddenly want to settle down for this girl, but not for me? Is it real? I am so confused!

[Leia]

I don't have any advice. I despise cheaters so if I were you, I'd just tell him to f*** off and leave you be. He has another woman now, anyway, right so good for him. Let her have him. You know what, so what that he doesn't want to settle down with you... I see it as a good thing. Why would you want to settle down with a worthless piece of a cows***?? I'm sorry... I'm usually not like this but when it comes to cheaters.... I just turn ugly. Eerrghhh... they make my blood boil!!!

 

You're angry and you have the right to be. You wasted your 7 years on someone who you loved very much but betrayed you. So just tell him off and move on with your life. You deserve a gentleman... not a low scumbag like your boyfriend.

[Confused9]

my fiance who cheated on me who also has some form of a mental disease (I think he's bipolar) and is an addict also told me that he isn't drinking or using drugs anymore...you know what I have to say to that??? YAH right. You know that he probably is using. People can't change people - she can't change him - just like you couldn't. If he isn't using...it's only temporary. I know it's hard...trust me I am going through the same thing -but I would just stay away from him. You are better off without him. He sounds like a real d****bag. You deserve better.

[skeeter420]

It has been almost three weeks since I told him not to call me, and he hasn't. It kind of makes me sad, but at the same time I am glad, because it makes things easier for me. I feel like all I did was push him towards this other woman, but I didn't have a choice. I have no idea if he is happy with this woman or not, and I am glad I don't know, because if he is, it would make things worse for me. It feels so weird! I am trying so hard to just let go. I haven't called him or went to see him once since he left, he was the one calling me, but now he isn't, and that scares me. I have been going to counseling every two weeks, and have a few trips planned with my two best friends, but I can't seem to quit thinking about him, even though I would never take him back. Does this ever get easier? Will he ever call? Someone help!!