Need urgent advise

[Suzie_qq]

I am in desperate need of help. I am currently married and have been for 10 years (got married young), I have 3 children under 5 and work part time. My problem is the job I am currently in I have held for 4 years, I have been recently promoted to head of the department and love my new responsibility but my boss, who is 20 years older than me has asked if I would sleep with him. We travel a lot together and I don't know what to do. I feel very attracted to him, he is a successful business man and is married with grown children. He lavishes me with gifts is always commenting on my looks/figure and personality, something my husband has not done for years. But he is starting to put the pressure on when we go away. I am scarred I may succumb to his charm but do not want to loose my job. We are due to go away again very soon and he has organised for us to stay at a very expensive and upmarket hotel and I need advise. PLEASE HELP....Thanks

[Kat]

What is more important? Your happy family, husbands love, 10 year marriage or your part time job, which there are more of ??????????????????

[EnigmaXOXO]

First, get educated! Find out what the law is regarding sexual harassment in your area. Then, get to work documenting each event. Gather information and evidence, such as email. Have any witnesses? Heck, I'd even go so far as to conceal a tape recorder!

 

If your company or firm has a union, now might be the time to join. They will help you with the process of documenting your case in the event you are eventually given an ultimatum. You could also seek council with a lawyer in the event you are terminated. If you are serious about putting an end to this and saving your job, you DO have legal recourse.

 

And most importantly, STOP being so passive! It has been my experience that women in the work place who don't smile and giggle when a male colleague makes an overt comment, won't be bothered by that individual for long. From the first day you enter a new job, you must make it clear where the lines are. Be professional, polite and FIRM at all times. If you say nothing, or pretend to be naive about what is happening, your harasser will see it as an opening and his bad behavior will escalate.

 

Of course, you don't want to loose your job. And you shouldn't have to! But you mention in your post:

 

He lavishes me with gifts is always commenting on my looks/figure and personality, something my husband has not done for years....I am scarred I may succumb to his charm but do not want to loose my job.

 

What this says to me, is that you have been welcoming his advances, even enjoying the attention. He knows that. And now that you have allowed it to escalate to this point, you might have to accept the fact that you are partly responsible for the quandary you're in and he may even use it against you in his own defense.

 

No job or promotion which is earned under these circumstances will ever be a secure one. You'll eventually be terminated or be forced to resign unless you take steps to protect yourself NOW.

 

 

Australian Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission.

 

http://www.hreoc.gov.au/sex_discrimination/sexual_harrassment/

[Gentelman]

dear women.... I tell you what... your husband might be not what he use to be but try to understand him and he will open up to you... and who knows he might become better then the man you loved at first.... I am sure that your husband needs alittle bit of takeing care of and sooner or later you will value your love to him....

 

but for the job.. matter...hay.. I am sure you will find many jobs.... dont sell 10 years of your life and loylty for just a few minute of fun.... belive me you wont see it as fun onec you do it with him....you'll end up in a wors state then before...

 

take care.... and hay I love my wife... and will for all of my life.... LOVE... god my heart beats fast when I say it...dont know why..... but I feel strong when i say that I love her..