Quinch Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 My best female friend has admitted that last night she went to the cinema with her ex-husband. Apparently this was done with the full knowledge and consent of her new boyfriend. There doesn't seem to be a problem there except that the ex-husband is a vindictive psycho who, in the past, has used violence with her and threatened her b/f with violence. He has also tried, more than once, to break up their relationship. At one time she took out a restraining order to keep him away from her. I just hope the boyfriend really is okay with it because I'm not sure I am. Is this one of those things where I should mind my own business or would you be concerned about your partner going out with someone like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 I feel sorry for the BF.. There is no way that her and her ex didn't feel some of those old feelings from when they would go to the movies when they were married.. If a GF that I was dating ( when I was single ) went out to the movies with her Ex husband then I wouldn't be seeing her anymore.. They went out on a date.. Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 I wouldn't be ok with it. Especially since her ex has had a violent history with her. Did she say why she even went out with her ex since she has a b/f? How well do you know her b/f? He might not even be aware of it, and she is just saying that to make you think eveverything is cool. I'm not sure what I would do as far as saying something or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Do you think or know if any body fluids were exchanged ? When Ex Spouse's get together and go on dates it is a bunch easier to fall into the sack because of their familiarity of each other and the past marriage they have shared. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 I wouldn't be OK with it either. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Is this one of those things where I should mind my own business or would you be concerned about your partner going out with someone like that? Since your question is this, then I say this falls into the "mind your own business" category. You say she is a friend, but you don't seem to trust her. She says her BF is okay with it, but you must think she is lying. Personally, you can share your misgivings with her, but it is her life to live...fail or succeed. You can give her support, but I am guessing that if you said something to her BF, she would feel that you betrayed her trust as a friend. As for...would I allow it if I were her BF? I am not the boss over my wife and certainly never any GFs in the past. So the question becomes, would I date a girl who wanted to still "date" her ex? The answer is no. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Is this one of those things where I should mind my own business or would you be concerned about your partner going out with someone like that? If she is really a friend... it is unloving of you to support this behavior. To what level you want to take that is up to you. For me... I'd say if she cant respect her primary relationship... she wont be able to respect our friendship either... so, it's prove your worthy or Buh Bye! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quinch Posted December 6, 2007 Author Share Posted December 6, 2007 You say she is a friend, but you don't seem to trust her. She says her BF is okay with it, but you must think she is lying. It's not her that I don't trust - it's him. If it was any of her other ex-b/fs or even her first ex-huband, I wouldn't have a problem. This guy is a creep Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 I call my friends out on their BS. I'd simply say "even if your bf claims to be ok with this, is it really healthy for your relationship? Would you honestly not feel a little discomfort in his shoes even if you claimed it was allright? I like your bf. Your ex is bad news for you. What can you gain from him as a friend that you can't gain from someone else?" I told that to a girl last week. She would talk to her ex in the past about "what if we were single" while having problems with her bf, and she was debating dropping her ex as a friend, but at the same time almost broke up with her current bf because he was jealous about her talking to her ex. I laid it on the line "you don't have room in your heart for your current bf if your ex occupies so much space. You need to remove him from your life, it is not fair." I have no problem telling my friends this. Link to post Share on other sites
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