smileyutk Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 I need some help. I got engaged two weeks ago to a wonderful man. He has been nothing, but good to me. Before we become engaged we had talked about where we wanted to get married. He had been married before and really does not want a big production wedding. I have never been married and I dont want the big production wedding either. We talked about having the wedding in Flordia. We just mentioned it. Well I told my mom that we were talking about getting married in Flordia and she went of the rocker. She made statements to me like, this is your first wedding you need to go somewhere like Jamaica or the Bahamas. I kinda said whatever and let it go. He proposed and then the heat was on. I told her again we were considering Flordia. She went off at me. We did not speak for three days. Once we did start speaking, I put her in charge of talking to the travel agent. I told her of two places, Bahamas and Flordia to check into. I figured my ruling behind this is that I would go with the cheaper one which hopefully would be Flordia and she would be ok with that. Well today mom calls me with some prices and its to CANCUN....i said NOTHING about Cancun! I went off. I began crying and telling her that this wedding was not about anyone but me and she should respect my wishes. She then told me that she would or could not go to Flordia because she did not want to drive. So I asked her to listen to what she is saying. To really think about it because I was done. This is suppose to be the happiest time in my life. My mom is mad because it not where she wants it..my finace' is picking up on the anger and I am afraid he is going to back out...due to his previous ex-mother-in-law he had to deal with. Please tell me how to stand up to my mom and her still be part of my big day? I also do not want to loose my soon to be husband. This is not the first time that my mom has tried to control parts of my life. it has happend before and I love her so much. But, this time I want to be able to stand up and do the right thing. I am about to be married and he is going to be my partner how can I get my mom to realize that? Pleeeeasssee I need advice and quickly!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Don't cry... Look, this is your wedding and what you have to do is CALMLY sit down and just say something like this to your mom, "Mom, I love you and I want you to come to the wedding - But, we've decided we're getting married in Florida. Thank you for your input on idea's, and I know you mean well, but we've made the choice and please respect that." I know it's hard dealing with a controlling mother...Last thing you need to deal with is her stressing you out...So, why not ask her to go with you to go look at wedding dresses? Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 My fiance's mother is like yours... has to be her way. Unfortunately, my fiance's culture doesn't really allow them to stand up for themselves to their parents so she's giving in to most demands. Luckily, this is where I step in. I don't want or believe in a big wedding, but since her mother wants it, I have said her mother can pay for it. I'm paying for the booze and she's doing the rest, including her 200+ guest list and plane tickets for her international guests! Final story is 3 tables for my family, 17 tables for hers. Link to post Share on other sites
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