Author LostHusband Posted January 24, 2008 Author Share Posted January 24, 2008 Part of the root of the problem is I didn't pay enough attention to her. It was very hard though - for the first 3 years of our marriage she worked late 4-5 days out of the week, and I worked late on the weekends. So there was like maybe ONE night out of the week when she didn't have overtime that we could spend with each other. Couple that with having kids and we never had any time for each other. I finally quit my second job on the weekend and we had weekends together, but we wanted different things. She liked to go out and do stuff, go shopping, etc. I was just happy hanging out with her at home. I didn't know stuff was bothering her so bad, she never acted like it was. We fought a lot - she was/is really bad with her finances, and I would get mad at her spending habits. She would get mad at me for dumb stuff, and I would get mad back - it was mostly just dumb arguments married couples had, I didn't think they were part of a deal breaker for her. I, like many who get left, had no idea things had gotten so bad between us. So yeah I do take blame for that - I should have seen the signs, but I just always thought "She loves me, we will stay together through everything". How wrong I was. I hope that answers your question about that - just things that build up between married couples, and the passion leaving after being with someone for so long, I guess I didn't notice that one either. I'm taking care of myself, staying upbeat and positive through it all. There's a timeline in place for her leaving. I don't yet know if this is going to be one of those "trial separations" or if it will be the end. I really do hope things could get better, but she will have to go through some major changes - both of us will, really. Time apart might do us some good, or it could just be the final nail in the coffin. Wish me luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Missy27 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I really don't know what to do with the info I found out, why the hell did she leave that stupid journal sitting there?? Photocopy the pages you need and keep them ~ I would do a few copies if I were you. Just in case she decides to get nasty with the divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Like I said nothing is going to change until you stop tolerating her behavior. What does it take for you to get pissed off and kick her out? Does she need to be ****ing the guy in front of you? She is having multiple affairs on you! Emotional, kissing, etc.. is cheating! I don't know what you are expecting out of this, by continuing to accept her cheating and disrespect. She is not going to 'come around' by you going down this road. You need to trust me on this. If it would have worked, it would've worked a long time ago. Link to post Share on other sites
redblack66 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Like I said nothing is going to change until you stop tolerating her behavior. What does it take for you to get pissed off and kick her out? Does she need to be ****ing the guy in front of you? She is having multiple affairs on you! Emotional, kissing, etc.. is cheating! I don't know what you are expecting out of this, by continuing to accept her cheating and disrespect. She is not going to 'come around' by you going down this road. You need to trust me on this. If it would have worked, it would've worked a long time ago. Just LISTEN to jmargel; do not live in denial, and do not look for those little signs. Link to post Share on other sites
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