swee Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 I met this girl and after a brief period of courtship (less than a month) we got together. Currently she is 17 and i am 20 turning 21 pretty soon. Basically before the relationship and during the initial stages of the relationship i was the alpha male: i made the decisions, took a stand for myself, and knew what i wanted. But deeper in the relationship (it lasted for 5 months; she said she needed time apart during our 5th month anniversary) i found myself giving into her somewhat unreasonable demands... kissing her ass for the simlpe reason that i was scared of her to leave. i knew i should stand up for myself but all i wanted was for her to feel happy and give her what she wanted. What do women really want? I know they like to be treated well, but they don't want a doormat or punching bag for a boyfriend. i became complacent after the relationship started. Shes basically a girl with a high level of confidence and has extremely high value among her peers. She's got a waiting list of dudes right after we broke up, one which got with her 5 days after our separation (and dumped her 4 days later approx. reason: the guy couldnt handle her as well as i did). I was devastated when i found out she found another dude, someone that wasnt as good looking as me and also treated her not as well. she was extremely upset over it and poured her heart out to me. She even aknowledged multiple times that i was the best she ever had (she had 14 exes ... she was my first)... as i have heard from my friends and their experiences girls their age wanna show the world what they got before they are 30, theres no way they wanna commit at such an age now matter how strong the feelings are and what they say. To sum it up i have been giving more than 50% in the relationship in terms of attention, feelings and commitment. she loves me plenty and we have a brilliant connection + spark even now... she still laughs sincerely and uncontrollably at my jokes. I'm a funny guy, seem to have inherited it from my father. we have already sorted out the issues i need adress before we try again, in fact we had a chance a few days ago, but something went wrong (not my fault, she was extremely dissapointed over a shortage of crabs which i promised to treat her; she told me no more chances; thati should get over her, on that day she even wore our ring). I broke down and begged her. Not a wise choice but damn, i thought i was going to lose her forever. Next day she cooled down but i did a stupid move, by telling her what she did last night was childish, and we should be friends. She got upset.... so i waited till night to call her. We had a 2 hour conversation on the phone. I told her straight maybe it was a good thing it didnt work out last night because if we dont address the issues we had (myself and her) its not going to work out again and we will be hurt again. She agreed and said it was a good idea. Generally it was a good conversation that we both enjoyed and she even had a nice laugh at some of the jokes i made. I made it a point to make those changes. From now i on i will never let anyone including her down, never break my promises and overall be a changed man. I know making these changes alone won't help, there has to be attraction for a relationship to work. I know this part very well, all i have to do is be how i used to be when i first met her... But better. Ive made quite an impression on her, and this was the first ever serious relationship she had and the longest. I am confident in the future i will get her back if i try hard enough. Im visiting the gym and indulging myself in hobbies to busy myself as i used to. After i met her, it was ALL her. Of course, sometimes i fear and feel that heavy feeling in my chest i may lose her forever. I know we are both young and much things to learn.. she is love of my life and she's worth every tear and sweat. She has bad habits and some bad sides, but screw that who doesnt. She gets mad easily and usually MUST get what she wants. She gets extremely upset if doesnt. I can take it, but this time i have to take it like a man. We are a happy couple together and almost 99% the times we argue are over the phone or when i'm away from her physically. When we are in physical presence its just so perfect. It doesnt matter whether it is on a date, dinner, lunch , etc... it just reeks of great. Good memories. Problems start when i send her home... arguments on the text, then she stops answering her phone. Most of my friends keep telling me i deserve someone better, someone i deserve. But they also support me in this endeavour. I tried LC but its really difficult. Usually she will text me first, or i will. NC is out of the question. I know her pretty well if i dont answer her mssages or her calls something really bad will happen. my ex just told me couple days ago: "Nice guys like u are extinct i think. So far i think you're the only one." So far she thinks im the best she ever had... and she admits if i make those changes which are detrimental to a Long lasting relationship i will be "The best ever in her life" Is there something im doing wrong and is there any advice? I cant stop her from meeting other guys , because she's hot stuff,shes got a whole waiting list of dudes waiting to be her next boyfriend. Only waiting for her to say YES. My pain may be nth compared to what most of u may be facing, but we're all in this together.. Thanks for reading and please reply Link to post Share on other sites
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