on the subject of this one thing

[Hemmed Up]

But what if he doesnt do that anymore, and that was only for that specific couple of times? WHat if he is good and nice now?

 

Does that still make me a bad person for going along with it afterwards?

[Kasan]

But what if he doesnt do that anymore, and that was only for that specific couple of times? WHat if he is good and nice now?

 

Does that still make me a bad person for going along with it afterwards?

 

The fact that he did it once is wrong--what he did was wrong, wrong, wrong!

 

You are not a bad person, but I think that you have been brainwashed by this man.

 

Can I ask how old you are?

[amaysngrace]

But what if he doesnt do that anymore, and that was only for that specific couple of times? WHat if he is good and nice now?

 

Does that still make me a bad person for going along with it afterwards?

 

You are not a bad person. Please stop thinking that you are because you aren't. You are just in a bad situation.

 

He can be as nice as he wants now but it doesn't change the fact that he has it in him to act like an animal towards you. All the nice in this world doesn't change that fact.

 

You aren't bad at all if you find it unacceptable. In fact you sound like you are strong. Strong enough to want things to be better.

[Hemmed Up]

He can be as nice as he wants now but it doesn't change the fact that he has it in him to act like an animal towards you. All the nice in this world doesn't change that fact.

 

 

are you sure? I mean, really really sure? Are you all sure that he isnt nice now and that was just a fluke? I mean, I now know he had an agenda, which he accomplished, so since then, he is very sweet and kind, and he wants to take care of me.

 

Everyone else I had in my life is gone because they hate him.

 

I just feel like I have no one left to turn to anyway, and I hate to make this decision alone. The decision of what to do.

[amaysngrace]

are you sure? I mean, really really sure? Are you all sure that he isnt nice now and that was just a fluke? I mean, I now know he had an agenda, which he accomplished, so since then, he is very sweet and kind, and he wants to take care of me.

 

Everyone else I had in my life is gone because they hate him.

 

I just feel like I have no one left to turn to anyway, and I hate to make this decision alone. The decision of what to do.

 

Yes I am really really sure. Unless he has seen a counselor or been proactive in finding help for his problems then yes, I'm sure.

 

If you don't know what to do just do this one thing. Google "cycle of abuse". It won't register too much right now or maybe it will but you will see you're not alone. It happens every day.

 

But in your heart you want it to not be like this. You want your guy to be loving and nice and take care of you but he abused you and you stayed. Therefore he has zero respect for you. He doesn't see you as a person with feelings. You are more of a possession.

 

Does he make fun of you when you're feeling bad?

[Kasan]

are you sure? I mean, really really sure? Are you all sure that he isnt nice now and that was just a fluke? I mean, I now know he had an agenda, which he accomplished, so since then, he is very sweet and kind, and he wants to take care of me.

 

Everyone else I had in my life is gone because they hate him.

 

I just feel like I have no one left to turn to anyway, and I hate to make this decision alone. The decision of what to do.

 

I am very concerned about you--you sound very young in your writing, and coupled with the fact that all of your friends don't like him and have left you is very alarming to me.

 

Where are your parents, have you contacted any of the resources that have been posted on this thread?

[jmargel]

Hemmed up.. what he did was not love, or was he caring for you. He is a very abusive mentally (and physically) person. He is mentally unstable and it trying to take you down with him.

 

These types of people are VERY good in getting what they want. They will play the good guy/bad guy routine alot. As long as he gets what he wants, the world is a perfect place. However you were not born to be his pawn, to be the woman that makes his life perfect. If you stay with this guy he will be expecting more and more from you, to the point that you will want to end it all.

 

What happened to you was RAPE. He needs to be in prison, and you my dear need the love and support that you deserve. You are NOT a bad person, just confused due to his abuse. Please trust us, though you may not know us our only intention is for your safety and happiness.

 

Any relationship that starts out the way yours did can never turn into a happy, loving, mature relationship. This relationship is based on lies, abuse and rape, which is the complete opposite of what a relationship should be based on.

 

You have a big heart, a soft soul and unfortunetly a predator has taken advantage of this. Please trust us and talk to your family about this if you can, if not please contact the police, a clergyman, a counselor, a teacher. Someone local to you. If you can't seem to do this, call your domestic relations department and ask them if they have a 'Women in Transistion' organization. That's what it is called here in Pennslyvania. It's a group dedicated to help women in your type of situation.

 

Nothing you did or said caused him to do this. He did this because he has mental problems, which is VERY VERY dangerous to you. You are NOT SAFE with this guy. When he is not there, pack up your things and leave. By all means keep in touch here so that we know you are safe once you leave.