ive got a really big problem and im really ashammed

[nathan]

i have a really big problem and im really ashammed of it.

I keep having dreams, for about a month now and they are really starting to disturb me.

In the dreams im always lying down surrounded by little children, im nearly 14 and i keep thinking about this girl who is 10 in a sexual way.

can anybody please help me??????

[Clancy]

Nathan, why is it that your profile puts your age at over 40?

[Tony T]

I think the post indicates nathan sees himself as being 14 in the context of his dream. He states in his post that he sees himself as being 14 during this dream.

 

Dream interpretation is very subjective and speculative. However, natan's subconscious mind is obviously trying to work out some issues via his dream state.

[Clancy]

To Nathan

 

Based on what Tony has explained I apologize for playing investigative reporter.

 

As for your dream I wouldn't worry about having dreams that have you feeling and/or experiencing odd things or things you wouldn't ever want to act out in real life. As you might already know, Normal happy women have dreams of being sexually dominated by strange men but that doesn't mean they really want that to happen to them in real life.

 

Likewise heterosexual men can have homosexual dreams even though they feel no sexual attraction to men in their concious life. So because you are presently dreaming of a young girl in a sexual context does not mean you are a becoming a pedophile. Remember how crazy dreams can be: we fly in our dreams, we can be supermen in our dreams, we go back into our childhood , we talk with dead people....anything is possible.

 

With that said I think you should be worried if in your waking life you find yourself being sexually preoccupied with young girls in your thoughts. And if your dream is so recurrent that it is disturbing your sleep or depressing you or causing you constant anxiety during the day---then I'd seek professional help. Start with your family doctor and good luck.

[nathan]

thankyou to those of you who replied to my cry of help, but i am 14 and i only pretended to be older so i could register with the site and post my problem because i was so worried.

[yes]

so you're 14, after all. but still - it's just dreams!

 

you're going to go through a lot of weird periods before you decide who you are and how you're going to live ... so you don't have neither a big problem nor something to be ashamed of =)

 

besides, 4 years isn't such a big age difference, - think of it as 24 and 20 =)

 

-yes

[Carly]

Hi,

 

Relax, a psychologist would say that the content of your dreams is absolutely harmless. Rememebr your icky and oh-so-embarrassing health classes said? That you are an adolescent, and along with those embarrassing bodily changes, your sexuality is developing too. That's great!

 

And hey, a ten year old girl is a healthy and normal "object of desire" for a 14 year old boy. Just don't act on that desire in real life, though, or you could fbe waking up from those dreams in the jail cell of a juvenile detention centre (I hear the food is crappy and the movie selection sucks in those places!)

 

Do you get wet dreams during those dreams? No, you don't really have to answer that. But if you do wake up with a spot on your boxers, that is perfectly normal too!!

 

Here is another question for you: Do you have any special concerns or fears about your dreams? Cause if you do, then why don't you spell them out and perhaps somemone here can try to answer them.

 

Oh, and you were right to try to hide your age and location on the Internet, to protect your safety. There really ARE perverts out there. If I were you, and you still want some questions anwered, I would go to a youth-friendly internet site that is designed to answer a teen's questions about sexuality. I'll try to find one for you tomorrow (I used to write about sexual health for my job, can you imagine?!? My kids would be so EMBARRASSED and GROSSED OUT with the material I would come home with!!)

Or perhaps one of the Loveshack regulars knows of a good site for teens to get their questons about sex answered?

I'll be back tomorrow for you.

[Carly]

Hi again,

 

I did my homework, as promised. The best site I could find for youth and sexual health is the following, which is sponsored by the government of Canada (and we all know how nice those Canadians are, eh?!):

 

http://www.cyberisle.org/teenclinic/index.php3?mem_ses

 

Check out the "men's room" while you're there.

 

Oh, and I like this site because (get this) you aren't allowed to post unless you are a youth. So, it's like, us old fogies at loveshack would have to lie about our age to get into it. Kinda like how you had to lie to get into Loveshack by saying that you are an adult, lol.

[HokeyReligions]

Attraction can't be explained at any age. We can't always have complete control over our fantasies either. All we can control is our actions. Thinking about the 10 y/o girl will pass. If the dreams are becoming a problem, talk to your guidance counselor at school. Tell him or her that you are having dreams that are causing you some worry and maybe the counselor can help you sort out what may be going on in your life to trigger the dream - and you don't have to tell the counselor what the dream is about. You may have some stress that you don't even realize you have and that stress can be totally unrelated to anything in your dream. More than likely, as your body changes and you experience more in life, your dreams will change.

 

You sound pretty normal to me.