lovehersomuch Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year. We agreed several months ago to be in an exclusive relationship. She has had many boyfriends in her past and still stays in touch with several as friends. I am fine with her having exs as friends; I have a few myself. Last week she told me she was going out to dinner with a friend that I have met (not an ex in this case). Afterwards I found out she had actually met someone else: a recent old boyfriend. When I confronted her about it, she said she didn't want to say it was him because she thought it would upset me. He had called once when we were together and I had asked if there was anything for me to be concerned about, to which she said no. In further conversation she admitted that she has seen him several times since the time we agreed to the exclusive relationship without telling me. Of course I was very hurt. This is a particularly painful situation because something very similar happened to me a few years ago. However in the previous case my ex-girlfriend was actually cheating. She says it is totally platonic and that they have not had anything more than a friendly relationship since breaking up a few months before she met me. She admitted she was wrong in hiding the previous meetings, and lying about the recent meeting, and that she would be completely honest going forward. If it is truly just a friendly relationship I can't ask her to end it because of poor judgment nor out of simple spite. Should I let it go at that or is there something more I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
Lolo Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 I feel for you, I really do. It is hard when you want to trust a person so much and they have not been completely honest with you. The only reason, I feel, that she did not tell you the truth about seeing him because there is something more going on between them. Especially since it was more than one time that she lied. I could be off base, but I think that if there is nothing to hide, then there is no reason to lie. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 I would be upset in your situation. First of all, she was dishonest with you, and that is not healthy for a relationship. Do you have ex-girlfriends that you are still friendly with? Ask her how she would feel if you went out with one of them behind her back and lied to her about it. Maybe that will make her think about how you're feeling. I personally think that if it was just a platonic friendship with this guy then she would include you instead of sneaking around. Link to post Share on other sites
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