tkgirl Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 okay, I'll try to make this short...about a month ago I decided to sign up for an internet dating site... just moved to a new state and thought it would be fun. Within the first hour I met this awesome guy, we emailed a bit the first day, then talked on the phone the second day, and the day after that we are out together! it was crazy... I've never done anything like this before. But I'm so happy I did! he's a great guy... we have amazing chemistry both physically and otherwise... but have not slept together yet. The other night we were soooo close, but he was the one holding back.. saying how it was too soon. To me it showed he has a lot of intrigrity and respects me etc... makes me like him that much more! He's pretty much the most amazing guy I think I've ever met... cute, funny, smart, sweet, considerate but also has the "bad boy" edge... it's like the perfect combination! I just feel like there's this amazing connection between us, even though we've only known each other a month. One thing that really makes me think that is that it's been a very busy month for both of us... we've each been out of town more than we've been here together (vacations, business stuff etc) but yet we still have managed to keep a connection... and it makes me feel all that much stronger about "us" okay, here's the bummer part... he still has his profile on this internet dating site (not sure I can mention the name here) and it's starting to bother me... like what is he doing? Should I say something or is it too soon? I know I will have to before we do end up... you know! for the first time, because I'm just not wired that way... cannot do the casual with a guy I really like, knowing that he may be dating other people. We did have a talk about this (not the website stuff) but about jealousy and cheating etc. He told me he's always only seen one girl at a time, that it's "not cool" to date more than one person etc. I know he is still very interested in me, still calls me alot just to say "hi!" and I definitely know he enjoyed the physical stuff we had last time we were together! But I'm confused why he still has his profile on there. I blocked mine but am thinking about unblocking it again... I'm hoping he'll see that I'm on there and it will bother him like it bothers me? I don't want to play games but... anyways, thanks for reading all of this... any advice would be very appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 Yeah my advice is send me some pictures if you're hot... and oh yeah if its a big deal tell him in the least bitchy way you can that you want him to take his dating profile down and why Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 I wouldn't ask him or tell him anything about his profile. Act like you don't even know it's still on. Like cause you never checked. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 I wouldn't ask him or tell him anything about his profile. Act like you don't even know it's still on. Like cause you never checked. might be the best advice but then he will probably just keep it up and she will be anoyed and wonder if he just forgot, or if he just doesnt relize it bothers her or if hes still looking through those radio stations for a better song... Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 might be the best advice but then he will probably just keep it up and she will be anoyed and wonder if he just forgot, or if he just doesnt relize it bothers her or if hes still looking through those radio stations for a better song... Sounds complicated this online dating thing. I'd rather just meet someone in person and go from there. Because now if they get in a fight and she puts hers back up or he does then that's bad. And you can check it. And now that his is still up she wonders why. It all sounds a little crazy to me. OP just stop going on the website if you think he's a guy you want to be with for a while. Just go with what you feel. Don't let what he does dictate how you feel. Save yourself the torture. Quit going there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tkgirl Posted December 11, 2007 Author Share Posted December 11, 2007 Sounds complicated this online dating thing. I'd rather just meet someone in person and go from there. Because now if they get in a fight and she puts hers back up or he does then that's bad. And you can check it. And now that his is still up she wonders why. It all sounds a little crazy to me. OP just stop going on the website if you think he's a guy you want to be with for a while. Just go with what you feel. Don't let what he does dictate how you feel. Save yourself the torture. Quit going there. thanks! you are right... it IS crazy! I never thought I would met someone that I like so much on an internet dating site... especially after the first hour of posting my profile! but I happened and it does freak me out at times. I have decided to "just not go there"... no more checking to see if and when he's been on there. I'm just going go with my feelings about him and try to enjoy things as they unfold. Realistically we are still in the "getting to know each other" phase anyways.. when (and if) the time comes that we are starting to get more serious/intimate then I will straight out ask him about it... if he's still on there and would he mind taking his profile down now before we can move forward etc... in the least bitchy way possible of course! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Sounds complicated this online dating thing. I'd rather just meet someone in person and go from there. Because now if they get in a fight and she puts hers back up or he does then that's bad. And you can check it. And now that his is still up she wonders why. It all sounds a little crazy to me. OP just stop going on the website if you think he's a guy you want to be with for a while. Just go with what you feel. Don't let what he does dictate how you feel. Save yourself the torture. Quit going there. Even if you meet some one in person they still might have a dating personal that they havnt taken down just cause they met you. Or they could have a facebook or myspace where they havnt changed the status from single to in a relationship... so meeting some one in person doesnt eleviate this situation... Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Even if you meet some one in person they still might have a dating personal that they havnt taken down just cause they met you. Or they could have a facebook or myspace where they havnt changed the status from single to in a relationship... so meeting some one in person doesnt eleviate this situation... Yeah but you have much better odds that they don't have an online dating profile. If you meet someone on a dating site the chances of them having a dating profile is 100%. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tkgirl Posted December 11, 2007 Author Share Posted December 11, 2007 Even if you meet some one in person they still might have a dating personal that they havnt taken down just cause they met you. Or they could have a facebook or myspace where they havnt changed the status from single to in a relationship... so meeting some one in person doesnt eleviate this situation... very true! now that I am getting to know this guy more, I sometimes forget how we actually "met" online. It's one of those weird things like I feel like I've known him all my life.. we were very comfortable with each other from the beginning. I'm sure it's not this way all the time.. that I got "lucky" to meet someone I click with so well. But anyways, back to what you said.. anybody can be on those sites, and the others you mentioned... I just have to give him the benefit of the doubt, know that he does like me and wants to spend time with me to get to know me etc. We have only known each other for a month, and he has no obligation towards me... but I'm hopeful that as he gets to know me and our relationship could get stronger, that he will no longer be interested in dating others... as painful as it can be to think about him doing that now... it's way to soon to have all these expectations for us. I'm just trying to be realistic about it and not drive myself crazy over-analyzing everything... anyways, thanks for your input... again! Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 tkgirl, I think you should stop looking at this guys profile on the dating site if it bothers you this much. What makes you think this is the only dating site he is signed up to? Or he doesnt have a Facebook, Myspace or any of those other Friend/Dating networks? He may just have forgot to take it down or unsure of how to take it down or waiting a little longer incase what you both have doesnt work out (after all you have both been dating about a month). Some people keep profiles online but never go onto the website again as their life either becomes busy or hectic and they plain forget about all the sites they signed up to. You don't want to come off as a jealous girl after the first month of dating. If you both have been together 6 months or a year and its still up then maybe you should mention something then But until then I think you should take the relationship slow and at a steady pace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tkgirl Posted December 11, 2007 Author Share Posted December 11, 2007 thanks BlueEyedSarah! I agree with everything you said... I really like this guy and don't want to mess things up with him... just got to hope for the best and have fun with it at the same time. If things are meant to work out with us, they will! Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I really like this guy and don't want to mess things up with him... just got to hope for the best and have fun with it at the same time. If things are meant to work out with us, they will! This is just the right attitude! Link to post Share on other sites
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