jessicakicksbut Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 After I get married, I was not planning on changing my name totally, but having a hyphenated name. It's always been a dream of mine to have a hyphenated name, so I can keep my identity, show my British heritage (which I am proud of), and at the same time show joint unity and EQUALITY between two partners. Also, I feel it is a privelege. Women have been working toward equality over the last hundred years, and are almost there finally. Just think, having a hyphenated name over a hundred years ago would have been socially unacceptable. Besides, it is much easier to have a hyphenated name, then to go ahead and change your name on everything right away. Anyway, at first my fiance did not like the idea, until I explained my reasoning. He is now fine with it, but in the meantime I asked many people I know, including a bunch of males, what they think about a women having a hyphenated name. For the most part, women think it is just a matter of preference. When I asked a few groups of men, here are a sample of the responses I got: [color=darkred]Women are trying to control their man, or show control Those type of women are feminists on a power-trip It is down-right insulting that a woman wouldn't take a man's name[/color] What are some of your guys/gals thoughts on this subject...looking for both men and female to give opinions Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 I think the people whose opinions you sampled have a lot of psychological problems. What people call themselves, what they want to use for a last name, is each person's business. When I get married, I could care less what my wife may want to call herself or use on legal papers. Only a man with a very weak ego would have a problem with a woman using a hyphenated name or retaining her former last name only. It really has no impact on a marriage if the parties are fairly sane. Link to post Share on other sites
flower Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 I still use my family name and my husband is fine with it so long I am happy. It much depends on the preference of user as she is the one using it daily. This applies the same to my other girl friends, their husbands leave the choice to them. For your reference. Link to post Share on other sites
Lila Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 I think having a hyphenated name is fine. Another idea is to just keep your name and not change it. Then, when you have kids, give them the hyphenated name so they can have both parents' name. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 [color=indigo] This is a new era in time and if a guy has a problem with a hypenated name, then it would be a red flag. My Mom didn't even hypenate her name. She kept her Maiden name and she is going to be 68 this month. My sister followed suit and kept her Maiden name too when she got married 3 years ago. Obviously the men didn't care. I have talked with a lot of guys about this too and all of them said they really didn't care what the women did. Personally, I am going to take my husband's name but keep my last name as well without hypenating it. It'll be like my middle name. That's good that your fiance came around after you explained to him your reasoning. I think it's important for a woman to keep her identity. I think the theory behind the old "woman taking the man's name" was revolved around possession. That the woman was now the man's. Obviously times have changed since then, hence a lot more hypenated names. [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 I took my husband's name when we got married, though my mom (who married in the early 1950s) encouraged me to keep my maiden name! I do know that if we ever have kids, they'll be getting both surnames. I use both names in my newspaper byline, and that's worked out well ... I think the idea of hyphenating names is neat, but it'd prolly be easier if both surnames were relatively short ones. The only bad thing about writing out my married name is that it's twice as long as my maiden name! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jessicakicksbut Posted June 4, 2003 Author Share Posted June 4, 2003 I think the people whose opinions you sampled have a lot of psychological problems. Yes, there is a lot of truth in that, I am surrounded by people with psychological problems everyday...hope it doesn't rub off on me to much. Anyway, I am glad for all the insight and opinions I received on this subject. Thank you so much to all who replied! Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Posted June 6, 2003 Board of Directors Share Posted June 6, 2003 Originally posted by jessicakicksbut I am surrounded by people with psychological problems everyday...hope it doesn't rub off on me to much. Having spent quite a bit of time visiting a small Northeastern town in PA, I can verify the existance of a disproportionately large population of crazy people there. They have an obsession with a certain iced tea there that's just plain ol' abnormal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jessicakicksbut Posted June 10, 2003 Author Share Posted June 10, 2003 Which Iced Tea are you referring to?? Just curious (I don't drink Iced Tea too much, so I have an idea, but unsure...more of a coffee and water person). Link to post Share on other sites
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