Co-worker Jealousy

[arizonangel]

Hello everyone, I could really use some words of advice.

 

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and we have a 4 almost 5 month old daughter together. My behavior has gotten out of control and it's quickly killing our relationship. But I don't know how to make it stop!

 

I am a full-time day student and my boyfriend works full-time at night. We've set up our schedules this way so we could avoid having people we don't know watching our child. Which is great for our daughter because she gets daddy time and mommy time. But, since our schedules are this way we don't really get to see each other expect for on the weekends and even then sometimes it feels like we don't see each other.

 

However, it seems I have a problem with just about everything! Especially with my boyfriends co-worker. My boyfriend is a janitor at a local elementary school and there are only two janitors who work the night shift at this place; my boyfriend and his 19 year-old female co-worker. I feel very uncomfy that it is just the two of them working at night. When my boyfriend first got transfered to this school he's come home shortly after 11 PM and I'd ask him how his day at work went. He'd say, "We did this or We did that". In the end it seemed like "Katie, Katie, Katie". Finally one night I snapped and asked him if he had a thing for "Katie". He told me no, because she is on the heavy side and not really his type. I kind of took what he said with a grain of salt and just kind of left it alone. I even tried to get to know her, but it didn't really work out to well my jealousy towards her quickly turned to pure hate after I found a txt message on his phone saying, "Ginny wants to see you naked in my car right now." Now Ginny is Katie's friend and they were having lunch during her and my boyfriends lunch break.

 

After this text message my boyfriend and her both claimed that she was just joking around, but I didn't find it too funny. Every since then Katie has been acting like she wants my boyfriend. I've tried to talk to my boyfriend that I don't like the idea that its just the two of them working together and if he could either get transfered to a different school or if someone else could get put in the school with them. But every time I try to talk to him about her he gets mad at me.

 

I don't know what else to do, he claims that he's not interested in her but his actions and attitude when I talk about her say differently. Please help before I go insane!

[MatsumeKazuo]

However, it seems I have a problem with just about everything! Especially with my boyfriends co-worker. My boyfriend is a janitor at a local elementary school and there are only two janitors who work the night shift at this place; my boyfriend and his 19 year-old female co-worker. I feel very uncomfy that it is just the two of them working at night. When my boyfriend first got transfered to this school he's come home shortly after 11 PM and I'd ask him how his day at work went. He'd say, "We did this or We did that". In the end it seemed like "Katie, Katie, Katie". Finally one night I snapped and asked him if he had a thing for "Katie". He told me no, because she is on the heavy side and not really his type. I kind of took what he said with a grain of salt and just kind of left it alone. I even tried to get to know her, but it didn't really work out to well my jealousy towards her quickly turned to pure hate after I found a txt message on his phone saying, "Ginny wants to see you naked in my car right now." Now Ginny is Katie's friend and they were having lunch during her and my boyfriends lunch break. After this text message my boyfriend and her both claimed that she was just joking around, but I didn't find it too funny. Every since then Katie has been acting like she wants my boyfriend. I've tried to talk to my boyfriend that I don't like the idea that its just the two of them working together and if he could either get transfered to a different school or if someone else could get put in the school with them. But every time I try to talk to him about her he gets mad at me.

 

I don't know what else to do, he claims that he's not interested in her but his actions and attitude when I talk about her say differently. Please help before I go insane!

 

You will not be able to move past this without telling him your feelings. But maybe you should try a different approach. Tell him you want to have a civilized conversation about your problems. Let him know, first off, that you're uncomfortable with the text message. Why does he need her number in the first place? That's where I'm confused.

 

You will only feel worse if you keep trying to hold it in, and you know that. And the only way you can try and find an answer is to talk to him; there should be no reason for him to get mad about his co-worker. If anything, he should want to hear what you say and try and reassure you.

[arizonangel]

I wasn't sure why they needed each others numbers either, but from what I was told they "need" each other's numbers so if they got to go into work early they can pick what time they want to go in so they call the other to let them know.

[MatsumeKazuo]

Even if that is the case, there shouldn't be any texts like that. Not to mention that they can just talk to each other the day before regarding their schedules.

 

Text messaging will get someone killed one day, I swear. I think every person has had a problem with it - I know I have.

 

Have you tried talking it out again?

[Blue Eyed Brain]

It could have been a joke or deeper. The fact that they are playing like this is not good. Also, why were you checking his texts???? You do not trust him and that will kill your relationship along with your jealousy.