i have feelings for my boyfriend's bestfriend

[thefrogurl21]

okay heres whats going on..my boyfriend jay and i have been dating for almost a year now.his bestfriend bill kissed me a couple weeks ago.i kissed him back.then me and jay broke up. i tried talking to bill,but he was acting distant.i wrote bill a letter and jay read it. it was about my feelings for bill.jay was upset and so was bill.they didnt talk for aweek.then i decided to push my feelings for bill away and try to make things work with jay and i.i didn't want to ruin there friendship.i saw bill for the first time friday night we all hung out and everything was going great.then my feelings for bill came out and we were by ourselves outside and he told me that he has strong feelings for me.that he acts stupid when he's near me.that i make him feel hot all the time.i told him i didn't know that he liked me and so i went back to jay. bill was upset that i did.so bill asked me what i wanted to do about all this.. i told him i wanted to be with him. he told me thats there is so much bad that can come from us being together and 2 wonderful things.then after that we got up to go inside and he leaned in and kiss me and i kissed back.he held my arm tightley not wanting to let go i guess.jay went to work that day and me and bill were alone.bill leaned in and kissed me on the forhead and was rubbing my arm and face.then he left.i dont know what to do...i don't know what to do..what do u think?

[Cobra_X30]

It's simple!

 

Dump Jay... go out with Bill! Dont go jerking the guy around... C'mon your already cheating on him... and he gave you a second chance. This is time for you to be honest with him and let him go!

 

If Bill turns out to be crap.... Do not go running back to Jay. That's rude on so many levels... and you will never be happy that way anyhow!

[Dynamo]

I replied to your topic in the "Dating" section, but I figured I might as well post it here instead. Just my take on your predicament:

 

First off I would like to say this reply is coming from a man who is facing a similar predicament, although I'm the one who likes my friend's girl (In your story, I would be "Bill").

I know exactly what he (bill) is going through, and the reason he is seems distant is because he is torn. He really likes you but he feels horrible for trying to steal his friend's girl. He obviously feels strongly for you if he was willing to sacrifice his friendship to try and be with you.

 

That being said, it should also make you wonder - how good of a guy is Bill, really? If he just threw his friendship with Jay away to try and get with his girl. It tells you something about his character and self control - in my own personal situation, I've been fighting the battle of not succumbing and betraying my friend. It's hard, but it's what any loyal, honest friend would do.

 

Do you still have feelings for Jay? You say you guys broke it off and got back together.. Does he seem to want you any more (or, better question, do you even want him?). If you don't feel anything for Jay anymore then obviously you shouldn't try to be with him. The same applies to Bill.

 

It's the dreaded love triangle.. And to be totally honest, the only way to keep either of them or yourself from getting hurt would be to completely take yourself out of the picture, and finding someone else. Otherwise someone is just going to get emotionally hurt.

 

But... If they really are your only two options.. Then go with whichever one you feel a gut-level attraction to.

 

Good luck, let us know how it goes (I'm interested, to say the least).

[bish]

okay heres whats going on..my boyfriend jay and i have been dating for almost a year now.his bestfriend bill kissed me a couple weeks ago.i kissed him back.then me and jay broke up. i tried talking to bill,but he was acting distant.i wrote bill a letter and jay read it. it was about my feelings for bill.jay was upset and so was bill.they didnt talk for aweek.then i decided to push my feelings for bill away and try to make things work with jay and i.i didn't want to ruin there friendship.

 

Too late...its already ruined even if it doesn't appear so on the surface.

 

And there is no friendship with someone like "bill"....thats not a friend in any way shape or form. Jay needs to get rid of bill......and you.

 

 

i saw bill for the first time friday night we all hung out and everything was going great.then my feelings for bill came out and we were by ourselves outside and he told me that he has strong feelings for me.that he acts stupid when he's near me.that i make him feel hot all the time.i told him i didn't know that he liked me and so i went back to jay.

 

So Jay is a 2nd fiddle backup boyfriend eh? I feel sorry for the guy. He doesn't deserve this. Do him a favor and break up with him and quit dangling him on a string.

 

 

bill was upset that i did.so bill asked me what i wanted to do about all this.. i told him i wanted to be with him. he told me thats there is so much bad that can come from us being together and 2 wonderful things.then after that we got up to go inside and he leaned in and kiss me and i kissed back.he held my arm tightley not wanting to let go i guess.jay went to work that day and me and bill were alone.bill leaned in and kissed me on the forhead and was rubbing my arm and face.then he left.i dont know what to do...i don't know what to do..what do u think?

 

Break up with Jay...he deserves better. Anyone that cheats with a best friend who is no friend at all deserves each other.

 

don't be surprised if you hook up with bill that he'll better deal you....or you'll better deal him down the road.

 

But all in all...break up with Jay so he can find someone with some decency. I'm not saying you aren't decent because you develop feelings for someone else...I'm saying it because you are using Jay and toying with him. Do him a favor ...let him go so he can find someone that won't do that to him. You can be bill's problem now...and vice versa.