luvmy2ns Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Why are the OW so bent on being negative about this woman. Enough to say she is "sad" and "pathetic"!! It's all about people needing to feel better than someone else in some way, whether they be an OW or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Well I guess the W is agreeing to an 'open marriage' so that she is comfortable in her lifestyle, he can get all the women he wants, including his own W... so everyone is happy. Isn't it what an 'open marriage' is about? I suppose, if she wanted, she could do the same, get someone on the side....but methink it arranged her in a way, because she probably doesn't want sex anyway... A lot of women do the same but aren't just not that 'open' about it. they tolerate the A's in silence so that the reputation is not compromise, and all is good... (on the outside) lol Ciao bella! you must have heard my cat calls out to you from the last page. Link to post Share on other sites
Frances Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I think the ow would like the bs to roll over and play dead. When the bs stands up for herself and settles for the best she can get that will keep the family intact they say she is materialistic. It is her own plate, she is not stealing from anyone else's so why are people getting annoyed. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 This is just an observation from reading this thread... and this is NOT an attack on anyone. I just find it funny that some BS's see NOTHING wrong with an A if the BS is "happy or content" with it. So then the A is somehow ' legitimized. So...what happened to "cheating is cheating'??? Why is it somehow ok because the woman in question in this thread is getting what SHE wants.. yet the OW is STILL the one at fault or the one still deemed WRONG? In this scenerio, doesn;t the fault SOMEHOW lie with the W for condoning such behavior?? And I am sorry but her actions ARE condoning whatever her H is doing. Regardless of how good of a "front" she puts up. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I think the ow would like the bs to roll over and play dead. When the bs stands up for herself and settles for the best she can get that will keep the family intact they say she is materialistic. It is her own plate, she is not stealing from anyone else's so why are people getting annoyed. That's true if she is truly happy like this she is not stealing from anyone, if she is hiding how she is truly feeling she steels from the person that hurts the most, herself. Link to post Share on other sites
Frances Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 This is just an observation from reading this thread... and this is NOT an attack on anyone. I just find it funny that some BS's see NOTHING wrong with an A if the BS is "happy or content" with it. So then the A is somehow ' legitimized. So...what happened to "cheating is cheating'??? Why is it somehow ok because the woman in question in this thread is getting what SHE wants.. yet the OW is STILL the one at fault or the one still deemed WRONG? In this scenerio, doesn;t the fault SOMEHOW lie with the W for condoning such behavior?? And I am sorry but her actions ARE condoning whatever her H is doing. Regardless of how good of a "front" she puts up. I have not read anything like this from BS's. The whole thing is wrong. She was not given a choice about the affairs she is just making the best of the dreadfull situation she found herself in. BSs do not ask for all the problems affairs cause but they have to deal with the consequences on them and their family through no choice of their own Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 ...and his OW, OW, OW, OW, and OW. LMAO The question with this, does he let each OW know about eachother.. What lines does he feed them, other than, he's in an open marriage and his wife is okay with him sleeping around. I just find it funny that some BS's see NOTHING wrong with an A if the BS is "happy or content" with it. So then the A is somehow ' legitimized. Because it isn't an affair anymore if it's an open marriage and the BS allows the spouse to sleep with others. He isn't hiding it, lying about it, or betraying her. That's the difference. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I disagree.The BS DOES have a choice. Her choice is to remain in the marriage and make her H wear condoms so she DOESN'T catch an std. Not being mean...just repeating what I read. I think when BS KNOWS her H is a cheater..and she CHOOSES to stay KNOWING he is likely STILL cheating then at that point she is NO longer a victim...but a volunteer. And at THAT point it's also NOT the OW's fault for imposing on their life. It's the W's fault for leaving that door open to trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I disagree.The BS DOES have a choice. Her choice is to remain in the marriage and make her H wear condoms so she DOESN'T catch an std. Not being mean...just repeating what I read. I think when BS KNOWS her H is a cheater..and she CHOOSES to stay KNOWING he is likely STILL cheating then at that point she is NO longer a victim...but a volunteer. And at THAT point it's also NOT the OW's fault for imposing on their life. It's the W's fault for leaving that door open to trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 That's true if she is truly happy like this she is not stealing from anyone, if she is hiding how she is truly feeling she steels from the person that hurts the most, herself. So true. As for cheating, the husband is doing the cheating. Blame him. The BS is simply making the best of a lousy situation dealt out by him. The sneaking, cheating POS. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I think too many here are busy thinking of THEMSELVES and how THEY behave to understand this woman's situation. Just because YOU would be unhappy with her choices, doesn't mean that SHE is. Why can't she be happy with what she has right now? She has five ADULT children and grandchildren to keep herself busy. She has a H that gave her a ride to the Spa, who she says sleeps with other women AND she knows about it - and has some boundaries about it. We really don't have much information into her life. But it is clear that he still wants to sleep with his W. And she is willing, with a condom. She doesn't trust him. Their marriage isn't the best. Who's is? Why waste so much time trying to pick apart what the woman says to prove your own conclusion of her unhappiness? She hasn't been cheating. She is the only one with clean hands as far as cheating goes. But instead of seeing that, OPs decide to focus on whatever they can that can be spun negatively. What is in it for those that insist on looking down at this woman, be they OP or not (for those that aren't)? Not my marriage. Not my problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 This woman reminds me of Carmella Soprano. Anyway...I think some of you mothers in this thread need to ask yourself what would You do if this was your daugther whose husband was treating her this way. Would you be upset, and tell her that because she is staying in the marriage, she is sticking to her vows? Vows shmouse...vows do not mean anything once they are broken (well, JMO). This man has made a fool not only out of his wife and kids, but himself! And why does she feel the need to discuss it with strangers? She wants validation for staying with a man who has cheated on her during her entire marriage--very similiar to how many OW seek validation for staying with the MM. I'm convinved this woman is all about the bling bling and appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 No disrespect NOI....but someone brought this story to the forum No one seeked it out. I am not looking to put ANYONE'S unhappiness down. As I said..if she is happy GREAT for her......but I... like everyone else am simply commenting on what was said by the OP. No one knows this woman personally so the way she and the story was portrayed may have been exxagerated or downplayed.Who knows? I am simply giving MY opinion on the things she APPARENTLY said about HER life. I am not finger pointing just calling it the way I see it to be. Nothing more nothing less. I persoanlly could care less if this woman is happy with her philandering husband. That's HER choice...but when someone airs their "dirty laundry" to the world..they need to be prepared that NOT everyone will AGREE with their decision..OR think highly of them for it. Period Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 but when someone airs their "dirty laundry" to the world..they need to be prepared that NOT everyone will AGREE with their decision..OR think highly of them for it. Period Some people do that at Spa's...I guess it's like getting one's haircut and blabbing to the hairdresser. She isn't the first person to that and she won't be the last either.. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 This woman reminds me of Carmella Soprano. This man has made a fool not only out of his wife and kids, but himself! I don't see it that way. HOw has he made fools of his wife and kids? They've done nothing wrong, they haven't lied, they haven't cheated. The ONLY person he's made a fool of is himself. There's no shame in holding your head high and doing what's best for your family. None at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I do agree that if she truly is happy and is in it for the sake of the family and the love she has for her family and husband, then kudos to her for not walking away from her vows. But if she is a materialistic, money hungry woman, then no, I do not think she is any more right than her dog of a husband. Bottom Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Funny.I'm a hairdresser..and I have NEVER had a client tell me they make their H wear a condom to keep from getting STD's from him because he sleeps with OW....not exactly something someone should exactly be proud of blabbing to the world UNLESS they are looking for pity or approval. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I do agree that if she truly is happy and is in it for the sake of the family and the love she has for her family and husband, then kudos to her for not walking away from her vows. But if she is a materialistic, money hungry woman, then no, I do not think she is any more right than her dog of a husband. [oops, what happened]... Bottom line is, it's her life. She cannot expect others to agree with her lifestyle just like I do not expect or give a flying duck if others agree with mine and MM's lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I don't see it that way. HOw has he made fools of his wife and kids? They've done nothing wrong, they haven't lied, they haven't cheated. The ONLY person he's made a fool of is himself. There's no shame in holding your head high and doing what's best for your family. None at all. Are you saying you wouldn't be embarassed if your spouse's affair was public knowledge? Please--not even the bravest fool wouldn't be embarassed. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 What's the difference of talking to strangers in real life or posting about it on a forum? Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 What's the difference of talking to strangers in real life or posting about it on a forum? Difference to me is that no one knows my real name, what I look like, or anything personal about me such as that. On the internet, you can be whoever you want to be. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 No disrespect NOI....but someone brought this story to the forum No one seeked it out. I am not looking to put ANYONE'S unhappiness down. As I said..if she is happy GREAT for her......but I... like everyone else am simply commenting on what was said by the OP. No one knows this woman personally so the way she and the story was portrayed may have been exxagerated or downplayed.Who knows? I am simply giving MY opinion on the things she APPARENTLY said about HER life. I am not finger pointing just calling it the way I see it to be. Nothing more nothing less. I persoanlly could care less if this woman is happy with her philandering husband. That's HER choice...but when someone airs their "dirty laundry" to the world..they need to be prepared that NOT everyone will AGREE with their decision..OR think highly of them for it. Period I get what you are saying. And everyone is free to form their own *opinions*. But talking about this woman like she is some sad sack is a *judgment*. And she hasn't done anything worthy of that judgment. Everyone will never agree with others choices. That's true. But judging a woman for making the best lemonade she can with the lemons that she has is just wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 And at THAT point it's also NOT the OW's fault for imposing on their life. It's the W's fault for leaving that door open to trouble. How is it the W's fault for leaving a door open? She's not inviting anyone into her marriage. Her H is. She is choosing to honor her commitments even if he isn't. The door open is on the H. Not the W. If she stays, no one has the right to tell her she should leave. I do agree that the OW is not imposing on her life, though. With this man, the OW has no idea of what she is really getting into with this couple. The OW is likely just signing up for a life lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 And again NIO..I have never "judged" this woman.I have simply offfered my POV ..just like everyone else has. If her choice makes her happy..good for her...... But I don;t see her as some hero or saint because (according to the OP) SHE chooses to overlook her H's infidelity..for the "sake of the family". Some poeple may not SEE that as so saintly OR smart. They MAY in fact see that as her "settling"...or accepting that this is as good as it gets for HER. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Just goes to show that people will trade being treated with respect and decency for a comfy life of material things. In essence this woman is no different than someone like Lizzie, afterall according to many of you Lizzie has traded in her self respect for a life of comfort and selfish needs, right? I say Kudos to her! she lives with her feet well planted on the ground and expects to get out of her relationship EXACTLY what she is getting, she is not lying to herself or anyone else for that matter. haha.. now I get your post on next page.. haha At least, I don't have to wake up every morning with someone who smells someone else's perfume... Link to post Share on other sites
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