are black women white mens fantasies or realities

[kneadtokno]

Here is why I ask,

 

I was married to my current wife (going thru a divorce) she is a beautiful black woman.

 

she cheated on me with a white man.

 

They have been together for about 6 months, their relationship was built on lies, because during the whole time until recently

 

me and her have still been having sex and entertaining the possibility of getting back together.

 

It was not until recently that she finally made up her mind to go thru with the divorce because I caught them together, and basically made a scene because she had been lying to me.

 

Their relationship was one where he kind of saw her everyonce in a while. He never really took her out, but she feels like he loves her and she loves him.

 

He says it was all because of our marriage situation. that he didn't interact with her as much as he should've. He would go days with out calling her

 

she came back home for a week and he convinced her that he loved her and she moved back out

 

but now she has been all the sudden spending more time at his house with our son. Spending the night and such

 

My question is is this just an act, how does one change so quickly.

 

Is he just enjoying the sex, and company?

 

would a white guy really take a black woman serious who has a child, and was knowingly with her husband not too long ago.

 

Plus the fact that I am still around.

 

What do the white guys think.

 

I have alot of white friends and I can't see any of them doing that but they would love to ***** a black woman for sure.

 

looking forward to the input

[whichwayisup]

I don't think this is a colour of skin issue, the issue is, your wife is still completely in an affair fog, a fantasy and the OM is too. What they have is ALL built on feeling good, selfishly and it has nothing to do with real life - The good, the bad and the ugly.

 

She is making a stupid choice by divorcing you without giving the marriage a chance to work. Ending the A, going to marriage counselling with you, allowing herself to let go of the OM...Problem is, her crush-like feelings and affairyland which she and the OM live in has taken over.

 

I need to ask, why are you allowing her to bring your child into this? It is SO unfair and your child should NOT be around the OM period!!

[TogetherForever]

This thread sort of lightened up the mood in here.

 

kneadtokno,

 

We can probably remove the black/white part of this situation.

 

I don't think it matters really what color the participants are.

 

Have you asked the OM in your marriage what he's getting out of this with your wife? I bet he can answer more clearly than we can.

 

TF

[kneadtokno]

no I haven't talked to him,

 

The only reason I bring up the black and white thing is because I think it may have something to do with it.

 

Or so I have been told.

 

I may be completely ignorant, but I just don't see a white man taking on a single black mother.

 

Especially the way their relationship started.

 

I think she is just living out a fantasy.

 

And why the sudden change in his behavior, now is he so accepting.

 

When before he never even met my son, and was afraid to, but now he is so accepting, or so it seems

 

I think she is putting pressure on him and he is just going along for the ride

[abeliever]

KTK- are you trying to start a color debate here?

 

I am married to a white man and I am a half white and half black woman! Color had no bearing on who I fell in love with. My H cheated on me so I am not the one who cheated. But affairs have nothing to do with color IMO.

 

This happens to PEOPLE not people who are white, black, brown etc. Here we are all hurting and color has no bearing on that hurt! It's a cheating man or woman thing -- that's it!

 

abeliever

[kneadtokno]

not trying to make a race issue here just looking for some insight.

 

I just know that although men are men, we do have our differences.

[Owl]

Don't think the race matters at all.

 

Some guys might have 'fantasies', or 'preferences'...but that doesn't seem to have any bearing on your situation.

 

I think you're seeing an issue that's not there.

 

Focus on the AFFAIR...its the real issue in your life at this point.

 

Don't add more to it than there is...dealing with the affair in and of itself is the issue.

[Cobra_X30]

not trying to make a race issue here just looking for some insight.

 

I just know that although men are men, we do have our differences.

 

Depends on where you live to a certain degree. To answer your original question. Most white guys I know... they are not really attracted to black women. The ones who are however, they are very serious about it... it's not just a fling/fantasy type of thing.

 

So, my point is... as much as you might like to believe this guy is just using your wife... there is a good chance that he isnt.

 

Listen, we do have differences... but they are cultural, and culture is very easily overcome.

[Green]

I think your concerning yourself with questions that arnt going to help you any. good luck to you in this troubling time stay strong

[GreenEyedLady]

Depends on where you live to a certain degree. To answer your original question. Most white guys I know... they are not really attracted to black women. The ones who are however, they are very serious about it... it's not just a fling/fantasy type of thing.

 

So, my point is... as much as you might like to believe this guy is just using your wife... there is a good chance that he isnt.

 

Listen, we do have differences... but they are cultural, and culture is very easily overcome.

 

This is a great answer IMO...

[kneadtokno]

Depends on where you live to a certain degree. To answer your original question. Most white guys I know... they are not really attracted to black women. The ones who are however, they are very serious about it... it's not just a fling/fantasy type of thing.

 

So, my point is... as much as you might like to believe this guy is just using your wife... there is a good chance that he isnt.

 

Listen, we do have differences... but they are cultural, and culture is very easily overcome.

 

thanks for the input, How many white men that you know of that are attracted to black women would take on a single black mother (granted attractive and classy) but a single mother nonetheless. especially when he knows I will always be in the picture? on top of the fact that it started off shady.

[whichwayisup]

ANY other man, doesn't matter if he's black or white, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, whatever, will HAVE to accept the betrayed spouse as ALWAYS being there due to the fact there's a child involved. Just because a marriage ends, doesn't mean that you two stop co-parenting together.

[KenzieAbsolutely]

i don't know any white men who have dated black women, or have expressed a desire or fantasy too.

 

the only black women that i have heard white men express any kind of interest in are halle berry, beyonce, tyra banks etc, and have plainly indicated that the interest in them stems from the fact they are are light-skinned 'black' women with features more typical of a white woman.

 

that's just my experience with the white men i know though, it may be very different in other places, and probably is, but i can only speak from what i personally know to be true.

 

to answer the other question, i also don't know any man, white or black, or anything else for that matter, that enjoys the idea of getting involved with a partner who is a parent.

[Cobra_X30]

thanks for the input, How many white men that you know of that are attracted to black women would take on a single black mother (granted attractive and classy) but a single mother nonetheless. especially when he knows I will always be in the picture? on top of the fact that it started off shady.

 

Should I count myself?

 

I'd guess 5 out of 7. One has been married about 5 years. They seem pretty happy, and have 2 kids together, 1 not.

 

I'd say that number decreases with the shady start, but I cant say by how much.

[kneadtokno]

ANY other man, doesn't matter if he's black or white, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, whatever, will HAVE to accept the betrayed spouse as ALWAYS being there due to the fact there's a child involved. Just because a marriage ends, doesn't mean that you two stop co-parenting together.

 

alright then take race out the issue how many men would take on a single mother, after she was still sleeping with the husband and lied to you about it.

 

At the time they were dating she told me that he has commitment issues, and isnt good with kids, therefore didn't want to really meet my son yet.

 

but not I guess he is proving that he can change

 

are the changes real or just an attempt to win her.

 

He didn't expect that she would have my son full time, because previously she only had him once a week, and he had a good excuse to not have to see her all the time.

 

but now she is there night and day. I think he may grow old of this.

 

I think he wanted things back the way they where

 

any thoughts.

 

what would guys of any race do in this situation.

 

I am too confused to answer this on my own.

[KenzieAbsolutely]

Should I count myself?

 

I'd guess 5 out of 7. One has been married about 5 years. They seem pretty happy, and have 2 kids together, 1 not.

 

I'd say that number decreases with the shady start, but I cant say by how much.

 

i tried to add to my post, but cobra got in my way.

 

to answer the other question, i honestly also don't know any man, white or black, or anything else for that matter, that enjoys the idea of getting involved with a partner who is a parent. some have been in that situation, and others have not, but the result for them seems to the same, the drama and issues that come with it are not worth it, relationships are hard enough without adding to it.

[TogetherForever]

I don't know what this thread turning into but why is it in this section?

 

The original poster is going thru a divorce & is questiong his wife's actions of being with another man of a different race.

 

Maybe I'm having a senior moment....

 

 

TF

[kneadtokno]

im sorrry not once a week but every other week.

 

so he would see her every other week then he would disappear. doesnt sound like love to me

[whichwayisup]

alright then take race out the issue how many men would take on a single mother, after she was still sleeping with the husband and lied to you about it.

 

Uhh, take a little read about this section, you'd be surprised HOW many OW/OM would take their MM/MW's anyway.

[whichwayisup]

The original poster is going thru a divorce & is questiong his wife's actions of being with another man of a different race.

 

But it sounds like he doesn't want the divorce, and besides, his wife is cheating on him with another man, so in that sense, it does suit this section.

 

Race is something he's brought into it, just to try to understand 'why', but the problem is, cheating happens in all forms, as race doesn't come to play when someone chooses to cheat on their spouse.

[kneadtokno]

Uhh, take a little read about this section, you'd be surprised HOW many OW/OM would take their MM/MW's anyway.

 

thats pretty sad, if that's the case. Oh well I guess it is what it is.

 

I just don't understand how all of the sudden he changes. I don't think its love or else he would've been doing these things all along. Not just now when she almost came back.

 

 

He would've wanted to meet my son, he would not have gone days with out calling her.

 

It just doesnt add up in my book

[TogetherForever]

But it sounds like he doesn't want the divorce, and besides, his wife is cheating on him with another man, so in that sense, it does suit this section.

 

Race is something he's brought into it, just to try to understand 'why', but the problem is, cheating happens in all forms, as race doesn't come to play when someone chooses to cheat on their spouse.

 

 

Oh got it now.

Must have been a senior moment after all.

Thanks WWIU!!

[Cobra_X30]

thats pretty sad, if that's the case. Oh well I guess it is what it is.

 

I just don't understand how all of the sudden he changes. I don't think its love or else he would've been doing these things all along. Not just now when she almost came back.

 

 

He would've wanted to meet my son, he would not have gone days with out calling her.

 

It just doesnt add up in my book

 

Question.

 

Where do you get your information about him? From her?

 

Also... where and how did they meet?

[kchiapet95]

I'm not sure, but are you saying that perhaps since he's white, and a black woman seems to be unattainable for some reason, that he's fascinated with her, and that the relationship is not based on reality? That once she's free from her marriage, and he realizes he has a single mother, and he has to deal with the difficulties of an interracial relationship, that he may not want her? I'm not sure if this is something you're thinking to ease your mind, or what. I'm curious about your thought process.

 

My opinion is, it depends on the parties involved. I am black, and most of my boyfriends have been white. I guess I'm attracted to white guys, but honestly, when I have a boyfriend, I don't think about their race, I just enjoy their company. I suspect that's probably the case in this situation.

[marazul]

I understand your doubts. I'm astonished at some people's answers here. What ignorance!

 

I need to ask you a few questions. Why do you worry about your ex or soon to be ex and her relationship with another man? You're divorcing right? Is it that you are concerned about your son being close to him?

 

I read this very fast so I think you're divorcing so after she cheated on you and it's over she should not matter to you anymore and you should not be asking yourself questions about her life, if someone's life, your son's and yours. I don't think it's healthy for you that you ruminate about her life and her decisions.

 

Also you are right about the race issue. Everything has a value. People go out with others because of different reasons, i.e. beauty, attractiveness, money, power, and race can be also a reason. Most white men DO NOT hold as their greatest fantasies a black woman, of course there are some that do but it is NOT the majority.

 

I have lived in a black country and I have seen many or these interracial relationships going down the drain, it rarely works.

 

To give you an assessment of her situation I really doubt that her relationship with that man will last much longer. He was in the process of assimilating the whole new situation and decide what he does. Unless he's a loser or she has plenty of money or she's a real beauty (most Miss World, Universe, etc. are not black) he most probably won't stick around. You have to be realistic and understand that eventhough you found your ex to be beautiful to be or to be with a black woman is probably the least powerful thing on this earth. I'm just stating a fact, if in doubt then look for statistics and you'll see it by yourself.

 

Take care of yourself