Has my ex gone off the deep end or am I living in bizzaro world

[serendip]

It all started last monday...I thought we were done for good...but out of the blue she texts me

 

I'm sad about everything that happened with us It was so terrible

 

I don't respond...then she emails me on Wednesday

I'm really really sorry about everything that happened with us. I still feel really traumatized by the whole situation. Please stop calling on the untraceable number. It gets really annoying. If you really need to talk, call me in person. Otherwise, it is best to just let go of things and move on.

 

She emails me to accuse me of crank calling(I have only called her 3 times in 4 mths) and to tell me to move on(I didn't initiate the contact). Like a idiot I try to defend myself and respond

 

Are you OK?

 

I'm not sure why you are accusing me of calling you. I have not called you since Oct 15 when I wanted to talk because I hated the negativity between us(I left a voicemail)....and before that was sometime in July to return your call I missed. I feel I shouldn't have to defend myself...but if you want proof...here's my attached long distance phone bill(you're the only number I call long distance as you can see). You can look at any future bills if you want...I have nothing to hide. If I wanted to talk to you I would call you. If you want to blame me for every prank call you get...there's really nothing I can do about that.

 

She responds by calling me a conartist(meanwhile she cheated on me)...and threatens me with police(which I have no problems with...since it is not me) and tells me to leave her alone...but she's the one who contacted me

 

It is not from that long distance provider. the phone calls are untraceable and happen at bizarre times (since January) that point to you. I have no proof but I know it is you. Please stop it because it disturbs me. (it happened ALOT when we broke up and it stopped for awhile and started happening recently again). I don;t trust your word since you are a conartist who plays and messes up peoples lives over email. I don't doubt you would do the same over the phone. I will get the police to investigate this if it continues.

 

P.S just move on with your life PLEASE...leave me alone

 

I was so annoyed with her...I responded with this

I don't know how we got to this point...but it's really sad. Your accusations while untrue are still hurtful...the way you have demonized me is beyond comprehension. You apologize many times to me but you really don't mean it based on this email. You accept no responsibility for your actions and your behaviour is erratic. One moment you text me how sad you were with everything that happened to us. I don't respond. The next moment you email me to accuse me of prank phone calls. I responded in a civilized manner. Then you attack me with names like 'conartist' which was uncalled for. It doesn't make sense at all considering you never mentioned the the phone calls in your previous texts or emails. If you think I am responsible...then call up your service provider and have my number blocked. I would have no problem with that. I really don't understand what you are going through...it just makes me sad to think that this was once a person I loved very deeply.

 

You won't hear from me again.

 

P.S. I have moved on...that's why I didn't respond to your text on Monday.

 

She is livid and responds with this

 

WOW!! I can't believe you!!

What you have done to me is still unhealed...I have to go for counselling now because of you and your email BS that for some reason you think is no big deal. How could you make up all those things on the email and expect to get away with that. I can't believe it!! You are unreal. Of course I don't believe you about the prank phone calls when you have done far worse things. I hope you smarten up and do not do this in your future relationships.

 

then 2 mins later she adds this b/c she is livid

 

You are a sick man. you liar.

 

Don't worry I will NOT RESPOND to her b/c she is emotional unstable as far as I can see....she starts off nicely and gets madder and madder with each progression of emails. She tells me to smarten up in my future relationships yet she was the one who cheated on me....she somehow forgets...she blames me for her need for counselling yet she forgot I had to go to counselling for her infidelity(but I never blame her for it) in the summer. She thinks I think what I did is no big deal...but I already apologize for it without making excuses in Sept

 

I can understand why you are hurt and angry with me. Reading your emails and manipulating you the way I did is a total betrayal of your trust especially when you trusted and loved me so much...enough to want to marry me. It's a violation of your privacy and there's no excuse for it. It can shatter your faith in people and even make you doubt yourself...that you can give your love to a person who is capable of such actions. For that I am truly sorry...I was under a state of emotional duress and I just couldn't disassociate from it. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of emotions and no matter how much I struggled to get out...I couldn't.

 

In sept...she wrote these things to me

 

Anyways i know you would argue it was my fault since I cheated on you and started this whole chain reaction...I guess you are right but you are still responsible for your reaction to everything.

 

All I can do is apologize to you for my actions. I know that you are a really good person and I want to remember you in a positive way..but it is really hard to forget all that stuff.

 

I really did love you a lot. I'm so sorry I hurt you the way I did. It was horrible of me.

 

Yet somehow she selectively forgets them. What is going on with her? I mean it's been 7 months since our breakup...is she having a delayed reaction to our breakup? During the summer she seemed fine and was telling she was having a good time(seeing the guy she cheated on me with) when I was going through hell. She said she was somewhat traumatized in Sept....but now she is "really traumatized". How does that work?

 

Myself I'm actually doing alright in that I started dating and can see myself moving on. I took time to deal with the pain and now the pain has lessen...but I feel bad for my ex.

 

With the phone calls...it's not me. She doesn't believe it b/c I manipulated her through email when I found out she cheated on me in May. I can't do anything about that...but obviously it's not the phone calls that is bugging her b/c she never mentioned previously...and her text message on monday suggested she was not angry with me.

 

Any insights...I kind of like to know. I know I should just forget about it and move on...I am trying to....but one thing is for sure I WILL NOT RESPOND TO HER. It will send her a message that I am disgusted with her name calling and that I've move on(previously I always responded).

 

Thanks for letting me vent!! sorry for the length of this post.

[randuff]

Wow....

 

Yeah I think it is best to leave it be for sure now. Just make sure if she emails you again something crazy that you don't respond back!

 

Take care,

 

R

[ninjaturtles]

After observing the trend, the progressive anger etc, I think it may be getting into her skin that you are actually moving on...(Even if you are not in reality, you appear that way to her).

 

I am female so I know how it stings when someone who once worshipped my feet, appears not to be willing to do so anymore.

The messages you sent her did not warrant such name calling. She really does sound like she is going through an emotional roller coaster. Are you sure she is still seeing the guy?

 

 

 

Anyway, make sure you don't reply her. Your actions still affect her. lol.

Dont let it pull you back..Keep looking foward. It was wrong of her to act the way she did, name calling etc. Come on, she keeps bringing up the email issue. Typical woman...always going on and on about things that are past! sigh

 

Stay strong and keep looking foward.

[SunnyLady]

It all started last monday...I thought we were done for good...but out of the blue she texts me

 

I'm sad about everything that happened with us It was so terrible

 

I don't respond...then she emails me on Wednesday

 

I'm really really sorry about everything that happened with us. I still feel really traumatized by the whole situation. Please stop calling on the untraceable number. It gets really annoying. If you really need to talk, call me in person. Otherwise, it is best to just let go of things and move on.

 

She emails me to accuse me of crank calling(I have only called her 3 times in 4 mths) and to tell me to move on(I didn't initiate the contact). Like a idiot I try to defend myself and respond

 

Are you OK?

 

I'm not sure why you are accusing me of calling you. I have not called you since Oct 15 when I wanted to talk because I hated the negativity between us(I left a voicemail)....and before that was sometime in July to return your call I missed. I feel I shouldn't have to defend myself...but if you want proof...here's my attached long distance phone bill(you're the only number I call long distance as you can see). You can look at any future bills if you want...I have nothing to hide. If I wanted to talk to you I would call you. If you want to blame me for every prank call you get...there's really nothing I can do about that.

 

She responds by calling me a conartist(meanwhile she cheated on me)...and threatens me with police(which I have no problems with...since it is not me) and tells me to leave her alone...but she's the one who contacted me

 

It is not from that long distance provider. the phone calls are untraceable and happen at bizarre times (since January) that point to you. I have no proof but I know it is you. Please stop it because it disturbs me. (it happened ALOT when we broke up and it stopped for awhile and started happening recently again). I don;t trust your word since you are a conartist who plays and messes up peoples lives over email. I don't doubt you would do the same over the phone. I will get the police to investigate this if it continues.

 

P.S just move on with your life PLEASE...leave me alone

 

I was so annoyed with her...I responded with this

 

I don't know how we got to this point...but it's really sad. Your accusations while untrue are still hurtful...the way you have demonized me is beyond comprehension. You apologize many times to me but you really don't mean it based on this email. You accept no responsibility for your actions and your behaviour is erratic. One moment you text me how sad you were with everything that happened to us. I don't respond. The next moment you email me to accuse me of prank phone calls. I responded in a civilized manner. Then you attack me with names like 'conartist' which was uncalled for. It doesn't make sense at all considering you never mentioned the the phone calls in your previous texts or emails. If you think I am responsible...then call up your service provider and have my number blocked. I would have no problem with that. I really don't understand what you are going through...it just makes me sad to think that this was once a person I loved very deeply.

 

You won't hear from me again.

 

P.S. I have moved on...that's why I didn't respond to your text on Monday.

 

She is livid and responds with this

 

WOW!! I can't believe you!!

What you have done to me is still unhealed...I have to go for counselling now because of you and your email BS that for some reason you think is no big deal. How could you make up all those things on the email and expect to get away with that. I can't believe it!! You are unreal. Of course I don't believe you about the prank phone calls when you have done far worse things. I hope you smarten up and do not do this in your future relationships.

 

then 2 mins later she adds this b/c she is livid

 

You are a sick man. you liar.

 

Don't worry I will NOT RESPOND to her b/c she is emotional unstable as far as I can see....she starts off nicely and gets madder and madder with each progression of emails. She tells me to smarten up in my future relationships yet she was the one who cheated on me....she somehow forgets...she blames me for her need for counselling yet she forgot I had to go to counselling for her infidelity(but I never blame her for it) in the summer. She thinks I think what I did is no big deal...but I already apologize for it without making excuses in Sept

 

I can understand why you are hurt and angry with me. Reading your emails and manipulating you the way I did is a total betrayal of your trust especially when you trusted and loved me so much...enough to want to marry me. It's a violation of your privacy and there's no excuse for it. It can shatter your faith in people and even make you doubt yourself...that you can give your love to a person who is capable of such actions. For that I am truly sorry...I was under a state of emotional duress and I just couldn't disassociate from it. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of emotions and no matter how much I struggled to get out...I couldn't.

 

In sept...she wrote these things to me

 

Anyways i know you would argue it was my fault since I cheated on you and started this whole chain reaction...I guess you are right but you are still responsible for your reaction to everything.

 

All I can do is apologize to you for my actions. I know that you are a really good person and I want to remember you in a positive way..but it is really hard to forget all that stuff.

 

I really did love you a lot. I'm so sorry I hurt you the way I did. It was horrible of me.

 

Yet somehow she selectively forgets them. What is going on with her? I mean it's been 7 months since our breakup...is she having a delayed reaction to our breakup? During the summer she seemed fine and was telling she was having a good time(seeing the guy she cheated on me with) when I was going through hell. She said she was somewhat traumatized in Sept....but now she is "really traumatized". How does that work?

 

Myself I'm actually doing alright in that I started dating and can see myself moving on. I took time to deal with the pain and now the pain has lessen...but I feel bad for my ex.

 

With the phone calls...it's not me. She doesn't believe it b/c I manipulated her through email when I found out she cheated on me in May. I can't do anything about that...but obviously it's not the phone calls that is bugging her b/c she never mentioned previously...and her text message on monday suggested she was not angry with me.

 

Any insights...I kind of like to know. I know I should just forget about it and move on...I am trying to....but one thing is for sure I WILL NOT RESPOND TO HER. It will send her a message that I am disgusted with her name calling and that I've move on(previously I always responded).

 

Thanks for letting me vent!! sorry for the length of this post.

 

 

Hey Serendip,

 

I think you handled it very well. Your ex is very disrespectful but don't let that bother you at all. You handled the situation very well. I think she beliveed you are still pinning for her and was shocked to see you are GEUNINELY progressing. No woman hates to be ignored, especially by someone whom she believed would always lick her feet. She is obviously not emotionally stable. Perhaps things are not going so great with her partner, perhaps she realises that what glitters isnt always gold. I don't know what her reasons for contacting you were for, but you must have been on her mind A LOT. And i think she is frustrated with HER OWN life in my opinion. Seems like she wanted to talk to you at all costs for whatever reasons and i can bet they are selfish reasons. Why didnt she go ahead and ring the police instead of hastling you.

 

Anyway stay blessed and stay strong. Keep us posted. Hope the ordeal didnt open up too many wounds. xxxx

[serendip]

Thanks for your thoughts guys.

 

I feel kind of sad and annoyed at the same time.

 

I'm sad b/c my ex....the woman I once loved more then anything in this world...sees me as a friggin monster. I honestly believe she really thinks it's me that is crank calling her. I attached my long distance phone bill in an email but she still doesn't believe me. There might have been one call 4 weeks ago when this girl I was seeing borrowed my phone to make a call and she accidentally might have pressed the ex's speed dial number(I've deleted it since) too long. I wasn't going to tell that to my ex...this girl I'm seeing might have called you by accident....that's classless. Also that was 4 weeks ago and that was one call...I don't think that's considered crank calling.

 

I also don't think she is really angry about the phone calls...she's never mentioned them before. Also she wouldn't have sent me this text on monday if she was...

 

I'm sad about everything that happened with us It was so terrible

 

When I didn't respond...she emails me this on wednesday

I'm really really sorry about everything that happened with us. I still feel really traumatized by the whole situation. Please stop calling on the untraceable number. It gets really annoying. If you really need to talk, call me in person. Otherwise, it is best to just let go of things and move on.

 

So it doesn't seem like she's really that angry about them at all(it's an excuse)...she's angry at something else(obviously me...that's a given). Also she still has me on her gmail chat...I blocked her when we first broke up...but you would think she would have deleted me from it by now if she was so angry.

 

I understand the saying

 

"You can't hate someone unless you once truly loved them"

 

...well I guess I know she really really loved me b/c she's hating me something large now...lol. The thing I don't understand is that it's 7 months since the breakup...what's up with the delayed reaction b/c in the summer she would tell me stuff like this

 

I had fun in the summer though out surfing every night and running. The weather was BEAUTIFUL and it is paradise here on the beaches in the sun.

 

...which I loved hearing considering I was going through hell trying to figure out why she cheated and why I reacted the way I did.

 

She wants us to move on or for me to leave her alone...yet she's the one who initiated the contact recently.

 

I know the dude she cheated on me with has left town for the winter months ago...but that wouldn't warrant the hostility towards me now

 

All I know is that I'm not responding...I don't deserve her anger or what ever she is going through. I'm trying to live my life and do what's best for me in the healing process.

 

Also by me not responding...it will send a clear message that I've moved on...don't know if it will make her more angry or not...shouldn't matter to me I guess

[ninjaturtles]

I can imagine how you feel.

 

I am not sure she looks at you in such a bad way however. You know why? Because when she contacted you at 1st, she appeared to be sad. However, she only started calling you names when your actions towrads her showed that you did not have the time to crank call her. I mean, you even sent your bill to her....

 

I think she knows you are a good person who loved her very much. I honestly dont think she thinks you are a monster. She is reacting to stuff, I dont know what.

Her behaviour is very irrational though.

 

Anyway, you've done all you can, and even sent her you bill. Im sure when she calms down, she would stop and think...

 

I dont know what to say at this point because you probably have a lot of thoughts rushing down.

 

Give it time. With time, this issue would die down. I know because in the past, I have felt so strongly about certain issues (relating to my Exes). However, with time it all faded, I dont know how to word what I am trying to say....

 

oh well, dont look back. It must hurt, but such is life. With time, things may sort themselves out..You never know

[serendip]

It must hurt, but such is life

 

 

Actually it doesn't hurt much...I'm more sad at how it got to this point and a little annoyed at it. Maybe it's b/c enough time has passed that she doesn't have the capability to hurt me anymore or maybe it's b/c her rant is so one-sided that it is almost comical...that I can't even take it personally.

 

I think she's hurting right now for some unknown reason. She wasn't hurting much in the summer when our breakup was fresher but for some reason 7 months after our breakup....she is feeling the effects of it. I don't know why.

 

Maybe her telling me off and me not responding will help her let things go b/c she got things off her chest or her anger for me will help her to move on.

[SunnyLady]

It all started last monday...I thought we were done for good...but out of the blue she texts me

 

I'm sad about everything that happened with us It was so terrible

 

I don't respond...then she emails me on Wednesday

 

I'm really really sorry about everything that happened with us. I still feel really traumatized by the whole situation. Please stop calling on the untraceable number. It gets really annoying. If you really need to talk, call me in person. Otherwise, it is best to just let go of things and move on.

 

She emails me to accuse me of crank calling(I have only called her 3 times in 4 mths) and to tell me to move on(I didn't initiate the contact). Like a idiot I try to defend myself and respond

 

Are you OK?

 

I'm not sure why you are accusing me of calling you. I have not called you since Oct 15 when I wanted to talk because I hated the negativity between us(I left a voicemail)....and before that was sometime in July to return your call I missed. I feel I shouldn't have to defend myself...but if you want proof...here's my attached long distance phone bill(you're the only number I call long distance as you can see). You can look at any future bills if you want...I have nothing to hide. If I wanted to talk to you I would call you. If you want to blame me for every prank call you get...there's really nothing I can do about that.

 

She responds by calling me a conartist(meanwhile she cheated on me)...and threatens me with police(which I have no problems with...since it is not me) and tells me to leave her alone...but she's the one who contacted me

 

It is not from that long distance provider. the phone calls are untraceable and happen at bizarre times (since January) that point to you. I have no proof but I know it is you. Please stop it because it disturbs me. (it happened ALOT when we broke up and it stopped for awhile and started happening recently again). I don;t trust your word since you are a conartist who plays and messes up peoples lives over email. I don't doubt you would do the same over the phone. I will get the police to investigate this if it continues.

 

P.S just move on with your life PLEASE...leave me alone

 

I was so annoyed with her...I responded with this

 

I don't know how we got to this point...but it's really sad. Your accusations while untrue are still hurtful...the way you have demonized me is beyond comprehension. You apologize many times to me but you really don't mean it based on this email. You accept no responsibility for your actions and your behaviour is erratic. One moment you text me how sad you were with everything that happened to us. I don't respond. The next moment you email me to accuse me of prank phone calls. I responded in a civilized manner. Then you attack me with names like 'conartist' which was uncalled for. It doesn't make sense at all considering you never mentioned the the phone calls in your previous texts or emails. If you think I am responsible...then call up your service provider and have my number blocked. I would have no problem with that. I really don't understand what you are going through...it just makes me sad to think that this was once a person I loved very deeply.

 

You won't hear from me again.

 

P.S. I have moved on...that's why I didn't respond to your text on Monday.

 

She is livid and responds with this

 

WOW!! I can't believe you!!

What you have done to me is still unhealed...I have to go for counselling now because of you and your email BS that for some reason you think is no big deal. How could you make up all those things on the email and expect to get away with that. I can't believe it!! You are unreal. Of course I don't believe you about the prank phone calls when you have done far worse things. I hope you smarten up and do not do this in your future relationships.

 

then 2 mins later she adds this b/c she is livid

 

You are a sick man. you liar.

 

Don't worry I will NOT RESPOND to her b/c she is emotional unstable as far as I can see....she starts off nicely and gets madder and madder with each progression of emails. She tells me to smarten up in my future relationships yet she was the one who cheated on me....she somehow forgets...she blames me for her need for counselling yet she forgot I had to go to counselling for her infidelity(but I never blame her for it) in the summer. She thinks I think what I did is no big deal...but I already apologize for it without making excuses in Sept

 

I can understand why you are hurt and angry with me. Reading your emails and manipulating you the way I did is a total betrayal of your trust especially when you trusted and loved me so much...enough to want to marry me. It's a violation of your privacy and there's no excuse for it. It can shatter your faith in people and even make you doubt yourself...that you can give your love to a person who is capable of such actions. For that I am truly sorry...I was under a state of emotional duress and I just couldn't disassociate from it. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of emotions and no matter how much I struggled to get out...I couldn't.

 

In sept...she wrote these things to me

 

Anyways i know you would argue it was my fault since I cheated on you and started this whole chain reaction...I guess you are right but you are still responsible for your reaction to everything.

 

All I can do is apologize to you for my actions. I know that you are a really good person and I want to remember you in a positive way..but it is really hard to forget all that stuff.

 

I really did love you a lot. I'm so sorry I hurt you the way I did. It was horrible of me.

 

Yet somehow she selectively forgets them. What is going on with her? I mean it's been 7 months since our breakup...is she having a delayed reaction to our breakup? During the summer she seemed fine and was telling she was having a good time(seeing the guy she cheated on me with) when I was going through hell. She said she was somewhat traumatized in Sept....but now she is "really traumatized". How does that work?

 

Myself I'm actually doing alright in that I started dating and can see myself moving on. I took time to deal with the pain and now the pain has lessen...but I feel bad for my ex.

 

With the phone calls...it's not me. She doesn't believe it b/c I manipulated her through email when I found out she cheated on me in May. I can't do anything about that...but obviously it's not the phone calls that is bugging her b/c she never mentioned previously...and her text message on monday suggested she was not angry with me.

 

Any insights...I kind of like to know. I know I should just forget about it and move on...I am trying to....but one thing is for sure I WILL NOT RESPOND TO HER. It will send her a message that I am disgusted with her name calling and that I've move on(previously I always responded).

 

Thanks for letting me vent!! sorry for the length of this post.

 

Let me get this straight, this ex of yours, went into email addy, sent messages from a random addy warning her about her boyfriend who was suffering from an STD? And in fact he was suffering from an Std? I'm a bit confused...fill me in please or send me the link?

[SunnyLady]

Thanks for your thoughts guys.

 

I feel kind of sad and annoyed at the same time.

 

I'm sad b/c my ex....the woman I once loved more then anything in this world...sees me as a friggin monster. I honestly believe she really thinks it's me that is crank calling her. I attached my long distance phone bill in an email but she still doesn't believe me. There might have been one call 4 weeks ago when this girl I was seeing borrowed my phone to make a call and she accidentally might have pressed the ex's speed dial number(I've deleted it since) too long. I wasn't going to tell that to my ex...this girl I'm seeing might have called you by accident....that's classless. Also that was 4 weeks ago and that was one call...I don't think that's considered crank calling.

 

I also don't think she is really angry about the phone calls...she's never mentioned them before. Also she wouldn't have sent me this text on monday if she was...

 

I'm sad about everything that happened with us It was so terrible

 

When I didn't respond...she emails me this on wednesday

 

I'm really really sorry about everything that happened with us. I still feel really traumatized by the whole situation. Please stop calling on the untraceable number. It gets really annoying. If you really need to talk, call me in person. Otherwise, it is best to just let go of things and move on.

 

So it doesn't seem like she's really that angry about them at all(it's an excuse)...she's angry at something else(obviously me...that's a given). Also she still has me on her gmail chat...I blocked her when we first broke up...but you would think she would have deleted me from it by now if she was so angry.

 

I understand the saying

 

"You can't hate someone unless you once truly loved them"

 

...well I guess I know she really really loved me b/c she's hating me something large now...lol. The thing I don't understand is that it's 7 months since the breakup...what's up with the delayed reaction b/c in the summer she would tell me stuff like this

 

I had fun in the summer though out surfing every night and running. The weather was BEAUTIFUL and it is paradise here on the beaches in the sun.

 

...which I loved hearing considering I was going through hell trying to figure out why she cheated and why I reacted the way I did.

 

She wants us to move on or for me to leave her alone...yet she's the one who initiated the contact recently.

 

I know the dude she cheated on me with has left town for the winter months ago...but that wouldn't warrant the hostility towards me now

 

All I know is that I'm not responding...I don't deserve her anger or what ever she is going through. I'm trying to live my life and do what's best for me in the healing process.

 

Also by me not responding...it will send a clear message that I've moved on...don't know if it will make her more angry or not...shouldn't matter to me I guess

 

Thanks for your thoughts guys.

 

I feel kind of sad and annoyed at the same time.

 

I'm sad b/c my ex....the woman I once loved more then anything in this world...sees me as a friggin monster. I honestly believe she really thinks it's me that is crank calling her. I attached my long distance phone bill in an email but she still doesn't believe me. There might have been one call 4 weeks ago when this girl I was seeing borrowed my phone to make a call and she accidentally might have pressed the ex's speed dial number(I've deleted it since) too long. I wasn't going to tell that to my ex...this girl I'm seeing might have called you by accident....that's classless. Also that was 4 weeks ago and that was one call...I don't think that's considered crank calling.

 

I also don't think she is really angry about the phone calls...she's never mentioned them before. Also she wouldn't have sent me this text on monday if she was...

 

I'm sad about everything that happened with us It was so terrible

 

When I didn't respond...she emails me this on wednesday

 

I'm really really sorry about everything that happened with us. I still feel really traumatized by the whole situation. Please stop calling on the untraceable number. It gets really annoying. If you really need to talk, call me in person. Otherwise, it is best to just let go of things and move on.

 

So it doesn't seem like she's really that angry about them at all(it's an excuse)...she's angry at something else(obviously me...that's a given). Also she still has me on her gmail chat...I blocked her when we first broke up...but you would think she would have deleted me from it by now if she was so angry.

 

I understand the saying

 

"You can't hate someone unless you once truly loved them"

 

...well I guess I know she really really loved me b/c she's hating me something large now...lol. The thing I don't understand is that it's 7 months since the breakup...what's up with the delayed reaction b/c in the summer she would tell me stuff like this

 

I had fun in the summer though out surfing every night and running. The weather was BEAUTIFUL and it is paradise here on the beaches in the sun.

 

...which I loved hearing considering I was going through hell trying to figure out why she cheated and why I reacted the way I did.

 

She wants us to move on or for me to leave her alone...yet she's the one who initiated the contact recently.

 

I know the dude she cheated on me with has left town for the winter months ago...but that wouldn't warrant the hostility towards me now

 

All I know is that I'm not responding...I don't deserve her anger or what ever she is going through. I'm trying to live my life and do what's best for me in the healing process.

 

Also by me not responding...it will send a clear message that I've moved on...don't know if it will make her more angry or not...shouldn't matter to me I guess

 

 

I don't think her reason for contacting you was to accuse you of crank calling her either. Why she choose to use that as an excuse i don't know. Perhaps she is just seeking for attention from you? Especially as something has obvously happened from her side. I mean might sound a bit superficial but her beahviour was way too eratic and irrational.

 

I'm not sure which ex you speak of this is why i aksed earlier for the surrounding circumstances of post-breakup...you intercepting her emails or?? I don't want to make judgment without knowing the facts.

 

I don't know that she believes its you for a fact. I think she "wants" to believe its you. And i have no doubt that at the back of her mind she is questioning her accusations. She will never tell you this, but im sure she. And are you certain she isnt forming this crank calling story? How do you know its not all a hoax? She has been wanting to sepak to you, evidenty, perhaps she was giving herself an excuse to speak with you, especially as you ignored her first message (which i believe is the only one that reveals her inner state of mind). She might have felt stupid by your non-responsive attitude and used that as an excuse to hold a convo?

[serendip]

Let me get this straight, this ex of yours, went into email addy, sent messages from a random addy warning her about her boyfriend who was suffering from an STD? And in fact he was suffering from an Std? I'm a bit confused...fill me in please or send me the link?

 

Well here's a summary of our relationship and things that happen up til sept

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t130418/

 

what happen with the std thing was

 

-she cheated on me last october and continue to emotionally cheat on me with the other guy til december.

 

-she sort of told me about it...not the full truth(extent of cheating)

 

-It was killing me but I forgave her

 

-In may...I found out she cheated on me again with the same guy(he came back into town). I became suspicious b/c she lied to me....I decided to read her email(she gave me her password along time ago...never used it) and found out she was cheating on me again

 

-I went crazy from the emotional pain of being used again...so I did something immature...I created a fake email and sent emails to my ex saying the guy had a std and was a womanizer. Well it turn out the guy she cheated on me with did have stds and is in fact a cheater himself.

 

I felt grotesque for doing this...so I ended up confessing to her...that's why she felt manipulated.

 

I lost myself to the emotion...I let the pain of betrayal get the better of me.

 

I should have just walked away

[serendip]

I don't think her reason for contacting you was to accuse you of crank calling her either. Why she choose to use that as an excuse i don't know. Perhaps she is just seeking for attention from you? Especially as something has obvously happened from her side. I mean might sound a bit superficial but her beahviour was way too eratic and irrational.

 

I'm not sure which ex you speak of this is why i aksed earlier for the surrounding circumstances of post-breakup...you intercepting her emails or?? I don't want to make judgment without knowing the facts.

 

I don't know that she believes its you for a fact. I think she "wants" to believe its you. And i have no doubt that at the back of her mind she is questioning her accusations. She will never tell you this, but im sure she. And are you certain she isnt forming this crank calling story? How do you know its not all a hoax? She has been wanting to sepak to you, evidenty, perhaps she was giving herself an excuse to speak with you, especially as you ignored her first message (which i believe is the only one that reveals her inner state of mind). She might have felt stupid by your non-responsive attitude and used that as an excuse to hold a convo?

 

I don't know what's going on with her. All I know is that she asked me to move on and I've been trying to but it doesn't help when she contacts me. I don't respond and she contacts me again with accusations...essentially demonizing me and then blows her lit. It's irrational behaviour on her part.

 

But I don't think she will contact me again...b/c she either feel too embarassed or she'll just think I really did crank call her and she got a chance to tell me off. What ever the case might be...I'm just annoyed by it and I don't understand what she is doing or why she is doing it. I just hope she gets good counselling and heals from this.

 

I'm just going to continue to date, live my life and hope one day I meet the right person for me.

[SunnyLady]

Well here's a summary of our relationship and things that happen up til sept

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t130418/

 

what happen with the std thing was

 

-she cheated on me last october and continue to emotionally cheat on me with the other guy til december.

 

-she sort of told me about it...not the full truth(extent of cheating)

 

-It was killing me but I forgave her

 

-In may...I found out she cheated on me again with the same guy(he came back into town). I became suspicious b/c she lied to me....I decided to read her email(she gave me her password along time ago...never used it) and found out she was cheating on me again

 

-I went crazy from the emotional pain of being used again...so I did something immature...I created a fake email and sent emails to my ex saying the guy had a std and was a womanizer. Well it turn out the guy she cheated on me with did have stds and is in fact a cheater himself.

 

I felt grotesque for doing this...so I ended up confessing to her...that's why she felt manipulated.

 

I lost myself to the emotion...I let the pain of betrayal get the better of me.

 

I should have just walked away

 

 

I think you're being too harsh on yourself. Yes what you did could be viewed as being manipulative and deceitful. But evidently you did it cos you loved her and didnt want anyone else to have her. I mean first of all, you are a very forgiving person for accepting her back after you discovered her cheating ways. Many guys would have kicked her to the curb instantly. And then to find out she was leaving you for that same guy...I can bet some guys would have done worse than you did. We are only human...you wanted her to yourself after 4years together why wouldnt you?

 

I don't want to say negative stuff about her, but from what I gather she sounds like a very selfish and inconsiderate person. Yes you created a false account and what you did was wrong but you shouldnt isolate your actions from the surrounding factors...ie. you being in love with her and her cheating with her present guy etc. And he DID have an STD. So essentially you told her the actual facts of the case. Why then is she acting as though you accused an HIV negative person or being HIV positive?

 

All i know is if i dumped someone after cheating on him several times. And my ex did what you did to her, i might have been angered but the deeper part of me would accept that you did it beacuse you wanted to retain our rship. Its not rocket science and if she chooses to view it in the worst way possible don't let it bother you. She is attempting to equate what what you did to each other but its impossible too Cheating is the worst form of betrayal and i think she us just trying to rule out what she did with your actions.

 

Anyway its all past now but please just let her be. She clearly isnt worth it. She will probably do the same to another guy sometime in the future. No one deserves to be with a love rat and you certainly don't. So view it as a blessng in disguise i mean you surely couldnt have married someone of that nature. She could have walked out on your marraige at the most crucial point. You may not be grateful now, but you will be in the future. And you will meet someone who will respect you and will not dispose of your love like garbage. There are good women who will never cheat or use men and you will find someone like that. Just stop beating yourself over what you did. You did it beacuse you were hurting. We ALL do stupid things! I created a false account and sent the girl my ex is currently seeing messages trying to gain information. My ex found out and he knew i did it cos i was upset!! I loved him and it hurt me to see someone new in his life! And he didnt hold it against me...and i am talking about a horrible person here. Another friend of mine sent a message from his ex's email addy to a guy his ex cheated on him with saying "i enjoyed our time toegther last night, i want you to give me more of that good stuff". Now his ex found out, she was upset but she didnt go ballastic or act erratic! She knew his reasosn for doing what he did--he was hurting and wanted to find out what was goin on between his ex and this new guy". So screw this ex of yours and keep up with what you're doing. She is obviously a heartless person...and she had no right to accuse so so much! She took it too far and you have every right to be angry. But let go of the anger cos you are the bigger person here. Anyway don't want to go on too long. Take care and keep posting.x

[SunnyLady]

Yes your actions dislay selfishness but we are ALL selfish about the ones we love. Her behaviour 7MONTHS AFTER is completely uncalled for. She is traumatized efter 7 months why??? Isnt she having fun with this new guy of hers, you are the one who has been mourning what does she know about trauma? She has no right to keep intruding into your life and distrupting your progress.

 

Anyway keep mmving forward and you will find a better woman for you.

[AHIWON]

Your X is nuts. All the better to justify why you are not still together.

[SunnyLady]

Your X is nuts. All the better to justify why you are not still together.

 

. I thought so too...

[CaliGuy]

This is why NC and not responding to her at all is GOLDEN. She wanted a reaction and got one.

 

She knows you still care.

[serendip]

This is why NC and not responding to her at all is GOLDEN. She wanted a reaction and got one.

 

She knows you still care.

 

I didn't respond to her text last monday....so she emailed me on Wednesday

 

I'm really really sorry about everything that happened with us. I still feel really traumatized by the whole situation. Please stop calling on the untraceable number. It gets really annoying. If you really need to talk, call me in person. Otherwise, it is best to just let go of things and move on.

 

I regret responding to this now...b/c all it did was make her blow her fuse. I honestly believe she is getting crank calls and she thinks it's me. But it wasn't the main point of why she contacted me in the first place. I don't know what her main reason for contacting me was(you'll probably say to see if I still care). That might have a little bit of truth in it...but I think there is something else....don't know what though.

 

But I'm glad I didn't respond back when she kind of lost it

 

WOW!! I can't believe you!!

What you have done to me is still unhealed...I have to go for counselling now because of you and your email BS that for some reason you think is no big deal. How could you make up all those things on the email and expect to get away with that. I can't believe it!! You are unreal. Of course I don't believe you about the prank phone calls when you have done far worse things. I hope you smarten up and do not do this in your future relationships.

 

then 2 mins later she adds this b/c she was livid

 

You are a sick man. you liar.

 

I wonder if my non response affects her considering I always responded? I shouldn't care...or I should become indifferent to her...but I'm human.

[serendip]

It's been 2 weeks since this fiasco....I have not replied and will not acknowledge her at all. This is most likely her last words to me.

 

But what I find the last 2 days is that when I go to bed...I start thinking about her and get really angry....at all the terrible stuff she did and the fact that she barely acknowledges it. It's like she is blind to the fact she cheated...she sometimes realizes it and sometimes she doesn't. It's up and down with her...like her emails...sad...angry.

 

But I'm annoyed at myself for letting her get under my skin...I'm dating now and the last thing I want to do is think about the ex when I go to sleep. I shouldn't be bothered by her...it's been 7 months since our breakup.

 

Am I just recycling some anger issues triggered by her last couple of emails b/c I haven't been this angry with her since July.

[serendip]

Well the ex just called...I didn't answer. She left a voicemail....basically something like this

 

'I just want to ask you for forgiveness for everything I did to hurt you and I want to forgive you for everything you did to hurt me. I don't want to have all this anger inside of me towards you and I hope you feel the same way. Anyway have a nice holiday."

 

The last words she said to me before this was "you are a sick man. you liar"

 

Now she wants forgivieness on her terms. I tried to mend things back in October...but she threw it back in my face.

 

I am not going to respond...I'm done with her. I know her calling and leaving this message has nothing to do with me. She feels guilty at her last words to me and wants to make herself feel better. It has nothing to do with making me feel good. I just have to take care of myself and responding is not good for me even though she most likely wants me to acknowledge her.

[Phateless]

She's completely manipulative and psycho. She's trying any method she can think of to engage your attention. At this point she's just throwing things against the wall to see what sticks. Let her go.

[serendip]

[/url]

I didn't respond yesterday...

 

She just text me today

 

"Did yu get my message yu can call me if yu want to talk about things if not I understand yu will always be special to me take care"

 

3 weeks ago I was a conartist, a sick man and a liar...now I friggin special

 

What is going on with her? I know people hate being ignored...but wow.

 

Don't think I will respond...all I want is a simple apology with no excuses...something that tells me that she fully understands what she did...then I might consider responding

 

anyway happy christmas everyone

 

Edited December 25, 2007 by serendip

[LaughMachine]

Yeah the best thing for you to do is not respond at all. She is not making sense with anything she is saying and is not taking responsibilty. You talking to her more is just going to put her on more of the defensive side. Leave it be

[Phateless]

Dude, she's a nut. She's incensed that you won't respond at all. She's just trying to get your attention any way she can think of. You are better off without this one, lemme tell you.

[serendip]

Yeah I haven't responded

 

She might try to contact me again. I don't think I will respond unless she apologizes.

 

I'm not sure what's going on with her...it's probably the holidays making her feel our breakup more

[sumdude]

Something tells me whatever relationship she was in has recently ended... now she's doing double time on the breakup rollercoaster. Finally feeling the pain of both yours and the other guys. She does sound a bit psycho but if she's in the early stages of the breakup crazys I'm not surprised. The phone calls could be real, likely some other guy. You never know who else is feeding her head in the middle of all this.

 

Do the best thing... stay NC...