Is he a cheat...

[Melzag]

Hi this is my first time posting....

 

Anyhow, I have a dillemma. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 7 months now. In the beginning, it was all good (isn't it always), but now I have become this extremely jealous and paranoid girlfriend - granted with all good reason (as you will see):

 

Around January of this year, he was going through some rough times and it was all because of me. And during this time, he started talking to this girl online. She was from NY and he would call her and vice versa. He told me that she was a girlfriend of his buddy "Tony". Well, this went on thru March. I was suscpicious, so I found the number on the phone bill and called. I spoke to Tonya (the girl) and her husband who both said that my bf was coming on to her and wanted to go to NY to meet up with her. Of course, her husband did acknowledge that she was guilty as well, but they were working on their marriage and that their marriage almost ended due to this.

 

When I confronted my bf about this, he swore up and down that they were lying and that he was talking to her because of his friend who happened to be with this "cheating" girl and that two of her kids were not her husband's but rather his friend's kids.

 

During the time he was talking to her as well, he became increasingly irritated with me to the point that he did hit me a few times because of my "accusations" - which at that point he made up a number of lies to cover why he was talking to this girl. Which the reason happens to be to find out stuff for his friend Tony and he swore to his friend that he would not tell anyone.

 

When I found out that this girl did not claim to be any of the things that he said, I confronted him and he was afraid that I would dump him. He has been much nicer - more like his usual self, but I just don't trust him anymore. He claimed that he would prove this or that to me - but every time he did, it turned out to be bull. He went into his old email, but the emails were gone, he tried to call his friend Tony, but ironically his friend's number just gets disconnected.

 

Also, I found a girl's number in his pocket - which he claimed to be a guy. It did not have an area code, but he claimed it to be one thing while if you called another in our area, it happened to be a girl named Cory not a guy and it was written on a restaurant order pad (as if she were a waitress - or God knows a stripper).

 

There were a few nights that he did not come home at all and he would avoid having sex with me. And now, even though our sex life has always been great - I am breaking out in bumps both in my private areas and on my lips - like super small blisters. So, I am guessing that I probably have something that he gave to me.

 

As to that, he claims that someone before me gave it to him, yet he won't contact anyone to find out. Or to let anyone know that he may have given them something. Granted, I don't expect him to call them and let anyone know before any confirmation of what is going on, but if he gave this to anyone else, I think they deserve to know. But I suppose in my gut, I do feel that he may have contracted something during our relationship.

 

To a degree, I suppose I have proof, but he is back to the way he was when we were first together. And on a daily basis, I switch from loving him to hating him because of all the bull**** he put me through and for not knowing what to believe...

 

...which is probably more a matter of listening to my head or to my heart....

 

Thanks for hearing me out and please let me know what you think. It is situations like these that people make you think that you are the one going crazy. I guess I feel that if he really loved me, he would have tried to prove something to prove himself and to ease my aching heart & soul.

 

Thanks again!

[jessicakicksbut]

You deserve so much better than the crap your boyfriend is putting you through. First off all, he is abusive (hitting you, being nasty to you, etc.). Second of all, he lied to you, and is covering up the fact he is calling other women behind you back...and who knows what else. Also, he does not seem to care in the least that he has possibly given you an STD, and he does not seem to care that he also may have on. That just seems like a very selfish and uncaring individual to me. Please, go to a Gynocologist and get checked out. There are so many different types of STD's out there, some that are uncureable, as well as some that will make it difficult or impossible for you to have children later on in life.

 

Anyway, I do not think that your relationship with your boyfriend could be salvaged...he has many issues and he sounds like a total slime ball. I know that may sound harsh, but please go back and read your e-mail again. Is he someone you would want to fix a friend or family member up with, or someone that you can actually say "loves you" the way you deserve to be loved. My advice...get out before he starts abusing you more, starts cheating on you (or attempting to cheat on you) more, and before he gives you anything else.

[Leikela]

[color=indigo]

First things first... Get yourself to a OBGYN immediately!!! You are describing genital warts which could be one of a couple highly contagious STD's. Some are curable with anti-biotics and some are not, and you will have it for the rest of your life. It is important you get checked out. This is a serious matter and shouldn't be taken lightly.

 

As for your boyfriend, if you are just breaking out now with genital and oral warts, then that is a sure bet that he has cheated on you since you've been together for 7 months. While the Herpes virus does lay dormant in your blood stream, with initial contraction it usually only takes a few months for the first outbreak of warts.

 

Also, why would you want to stay with someone that hit you a few times and was talking with and calling some other girl? And then you found another phone number in his pants pocket? What are you thinking?? The signs are all there. He's a liar and cheater. There are many other guys out there that will treat you nicely and the way you deserve to be treated. His behavior is unacceptable.

 

Do the right thing and leave his ass before he gets more abusive towards you. It's a never ending cycle that's only going to get worse as time goes on. He's already given you an STD. Get out before he gives you more black eyes and a broken heart.

 

[/color]