let me hear what you guys think

[idunnodude101]

ok quick background...

-Right now we're both in different hard colleges. She's in a more party city.

-We met about 3 years ago.

-VERY Long distance thing from the start. (yeah i know..)

-We liked each other from the start, but never made it official because of the long distance.

-We were closer to each other than we were to anyone else.

-About a year into it she got a bf for a few months, then I got a gf for a few months. We still talked everyday.

-We got closer then prolly because seeing each other with someone else.

-I dumped my gf for certain reasons n then she dumps her bf a little while later. her friends tell me prolly cuz of her feelings for me.

-we get very relationship like closeness literally right after. this went on for about a year. (i was a 1rst year college kid then and she was a senior in hs)

-Met up here and there, always amazing.

-We were like dumb love high teenagers then when I look back.

--All was going amazing never had problems in years all up till she got to college...

--99% chance i will be in college in the same area as her next sep.

 

The Issue.....

-She's going to a college very far from home to the city where she knows no one and going for a hard medical major. she's a very social person. goes out to clubs and parties. very good looking, gets alot of guys but very picky and only dates guys for long term seriousness type. doesnt have sex until after marriage so I can trust her. tough on the out side but really emotional on the inside just does her best to hide it. really anyone who knows her can tell she's real innocent and trustworthy and has alot of values.

 

 

-ok so college brought her off cloud 9 with me and her. we couldnt talk as much mainly her fault and she admitted it. i know her, i could tell she didnt want to put the time and effort. id ask her if she needed a relationship break or if we should talk less and that id work with her and shed be like no she didnt want a break. we would then talk almost everyday. about a month later she finally broke lose and said she wanted to take a break.

 

as soon as she brought it up she like avoided me. we never got to finish the talk till like 2 weeks later. during that 2 weeks i fell apart and would send her e-mails and leave her voice mails. completely ignored me. yeah i know shouldnt have.

 

even had her girl friends from home try talking to her and she would avoid the subject of me with them too. they were all like what the hell too. then eventually i got a hold of her and we talked for awhile. told me that since school started she felt even farther away from me. the long distance thing was getting to her. that she wants to hold off on our relationship for awhile. that its not about being single its just she doesn't want to deal with a relationship. and i could tell that since school started i believe her. i asked her a million times if this was some nice way of breaking up and to just do it instead of giving me any false hope but she kept saying no she just doesnt want to deal with the relationship now untill later when it matters. she said she feels good about me and her that we're good for each other if not perfect for each other. she said if people were to ask if she was with someone she will just say "its complicated"

 

basically move on with life be good to each other then one day when she is ready start it up again. i asked her what about when i do transfer there. she just said she doesnt know that she would try it but doesnt know. the girl takes school seriously. i asked her wouldnt talk be akward one day just starting up again she thinks it wont be. right now we hardly talk as it is. she doesnt try contacting me at all. ill call her like once a week. we'll talk for a short time to say hey and stuff. iv been a mess. i do my best to cope with all this. she seems fine though, thats what hurts me the most. her friends and my friends who know her all tel me its because she knows im too into her to leave her so she has no worries.

 

right now i havent talked to her in almost 3 weeks. havent tried contacting her at all. she never said no talking but at the sametime im not sure if she just said that to make me feel better. she said just not as much talking. she hasnt tried contacting me at all. i duno have no idea whats going on really. iv been doing my best to show that im not needy or like i need her. which is why i didnt try contacting her, if anything i will just say iv been busy with end of semester finals etc. which i have been. i did send her a nice card that will hopfully get to her. but as for what i wrote on there i just said "hope you been ok i was thinking bout you. good luck with finals and all =)" and left it at that.

also this is the longest time period of not talking to each other in over 2 and a half years. its weird.

im worried she might be thinking im avoiding her or playing mind games on her or something. which is why i sent that card to show i still care. i just hope she checks her mail before she goes back home from college this friday. otherwise she wont see the card till next jan when shes back at college.

 

 

i mean i want her back, i want to play my cards right. what do you all think? sorry this was so long.

 

 

thankssss

[LiveKhaos]

Wow...man this is sad...I don't really have too much advice except for you to hang in there. Sometimes unfortunately things similar to this need to happen to us... I definitely understand where your coming from and possibly a lot of what your feeling since I've been through very similar situations, but to be honest yeah I eventually dealt with it, but not in a good way, I shut everyone out and became very angry at life...All I did was hung in there, even if I hadn't coped with it through the best way. Sometimes emotions are a killer, and they can make you feel numb to anything else but pain... So at least try as hard as it may be to occupy yourself with other things in the mean time till you can figure something out. Hopefully others hear will be able to give better insight.

[shpantz]

I am currently in a LONGGGG long distance relationship. And all I can say is this...both people need to pursue and BE pursued. If you have backed off for three weeks and she hasn't contacted you at ALL...then there is a problem. Usually this problem is switched around and the girl is the one trying to make things happen, with the guy just sitting back and doing nothing. But I think the same rules can apply here. You have done enough to let her know how you feel, now, as hard as it is, all you can do is wait. No one is so busy that they cant send a quick email once in a while. If she was truly into the relationship, she would take the time, even if it was just a few minutes, so write down a few sentances and send it your way. I dont want to be the "negative" voice at all...but I just know from experience, that the ones who dont take the time, arent worth the time...

[idunnodude101]

I dont want to be the "negative" voice at all...but I just know from experience, that the ones who dont take the time, arent worth the time...

 

 

i feel the same. but i duno its weird. i never seen this side to her. ever since i met her over 2 years ago, when she was 16 she has been ALWAYS there for me thick and thin. ever since she was 16 she has had feelings for me. she's 18 now. i even remember when she would stay up all night for me to write my own papers when i was busy doing my other school work. she did that on her own with out even me asking her.

even at the start of college for her she was being close to me it was later on she started acting all gay like this.

thats what i dont get how she could change so fast. i feel like i was being too much of the nice guy problem. and shes taking advantage of it. i know theirs no other guy. its just her being gay about putting in the effort.

 

the annoying this is, her ex and me have a close mutual friend. my friend was telling me how he told her ex that me and her are going out now. and her ex just goes "dosent matter its all fun and games then as soon the relationship gets serious she'll start pushing away and wont put anymore effort into the relationship" he said this many months back and it all came true. for their relationship she started pulling away and he reacted by being angry all the time and she used that as the reason for breaking up with him.

i havent gotten mad at her yet or said anything negative to her yet.