My first kiss.....lol desperate need of !!

[Tatum_xoxox]

i am CRAZY about him. I will say the full story. im a bit unsure and i need some advice please!!

 

im 17 and i hadnt ever kissed someone before last Friday night with this guy called Luke who i kinda had a crush on when i met him at a party earlier on. Then at one of our friends party's in august we got really close, we were standing in a corner outside just talking and hugging, we were at the point where our noses were about half a centimeter away from each other. I was really nervous and i had this butterfly feeling in my stomach it was soo nice! anyway, he was staring into my eyes and i swear his eyes were smiling at me, but i had trouble looking straight back at him seeing as we were soo close. Well yes, that night we did not kiss, i kissed him on the cheek aand that was it. we hardly talked, i didnt get his number or anything, and i thought about him so much. we myspace commented twice lol, and then last night i got to this party and he wasnt there i was a little disappointed but i found out he was coming later. AND he did lol. i felt so awkward, he came over to the table and i felt i maybe ignored him. I also felt maybe he didnt like me, because he didnt even try to speak to me since august. Im really shy so i wasnt sure what to do. Anyway he came over and yelled my name and i was soo glad to hear it. and he said how its been so long and i gave him a hug, and before i knew it we were standing on the deck by ourselves hugging but not as close as before. Then i didnt really talk to him that much because some guy asked him to come upstairs with him so they could check their hair, and Luke turned to me and asked if i wanted to come so i said yes, then i got interrupted by some other guy wanting my alcohol so i had to leave and i felt bad i saw him turn around to see if i was coming but i was gone . thats when we stopped talking. Im soo sorry this is soo long guys lol. a few times i felt soo useless, i really wanted to kiss him and we were going home soon and i had done nothing, i kept catching him inside looking at me because i was kinda standing by myself thinking, He did some techno dancing and it was really hot haha, later he came outside and sat next to me and we were talking. then he got up and left. I didnt know what to think. i tried to talk to him a few times and i kinda got a feeling he wasnt interested, but maybe i was thinking too much about it. Then i was looking for my friend, and someone told me she was in the toilet so i stood outside the toilet and waited for her. Then Luke was walking by and he stopped and said he needed to use the toilet. My friend came out and she knew i liked him so she walked straight off to leave us alone and he said 'no im only joking i came to check my hair, you can check yours too(hes kinda metro i think lol) it felt like he was trying to close the bathroom door(the bathroom was MASSIVE lol) and we started hugging and we got soooo close our noses were touching and he was lookign at me in the eyes again and i couldnt look back. Then we both decided we were tired and we rested our heads on each others shoulders and he said 'mm your hair smells really yummy' lol...........then we sat down and talked, then he left to go somewhere and i went to the toilet and my brother rang me to tell me he was there to pick me up. So i walked out of the toilet and found my friend and Luke talking, she quickly left and i said 'awww i gotta go' and i went for a big hug and i kissed him on the cheek but it was very close to his lips, and the kiss moved over to our lips(i think hes pretty experienced with kissing so i was really nervous) it felt soo good, his lips were soo soft and a little bit....wet(dont take that wrongly lol) and he kinda used his tongue and i was thinking..'geez this feels weird' haha. Im not sure if i was biting him or not. it felt like our teeth were in the way and i thought i may have lightly bit his tongue and his bottom lip. I liked this first kiss but i felt like i was all over the place and that he thinks im a really bad kisser and he doesnt want to kiss me again.........maybe im just paranoid i dont know. Afterwards my friend told me that when i was in the bathroom and she was talking to Luke, he told her he wanted to kiss me, but he wasnt sure if i'd kiss him back.

 

One other thing is....................he kinda has a girlfriend and i didnt know untill i had kissed him, but my friend knew and asked him before he kissed me and he said they were on a break. I have asked his friend(who is also one of my good friends) and he said that his gf tries to control his life and goes completely psycho on him and he thinks that hes too scared to get rid of her, because he has tried to soo many times.

 

 

In the end he followed me out the door and i went up to him and kissed him nicely just on the lips( and i felt i really liked that kiss because he had such soft lips) and i left and got into the car.....

 

now he still hasnt spoken to me, we exchanged numbers and all, am i supposed to txt him sometime later or...what. I dont know what to do and im not sure if the kiss was good, but i guess we were kinda.....sucking each others lips....i dont know!!!

 

what do you guys think??

 

 

i cant stop thinking about him and i still have these butterflies in my stomach and i keep going over and over it!!! yet again im also thinking....gay my first kiss was with a guy who has a gf AND the guy i have a massive crush on HAS a gf.

 

i had work today and it was terrible, all i could think about was last night and how i wished i had kissed him earlier and wondering if i was a terrible kisser!

 

he is just sooooo adorable he walked in and he just grabbed my attension straight away and i couldnt keep my eyes off him!! i just can't believe my first kiss was with a guy who i actually liked..................

 

 

sorry its soo long!!

[norajane]

Well, congratulations on your first kiss.

 

I feel really really bad for you that it was with a guy who has a girlfriend, regardless of their so-called 'break'. He didn't TELL you about his gf, and their supposed break may not be the kind of break you think it is...they will likely get back together (maybe break again and get back together again for ages and ages). And his gf might not be thinking it's the kind of break where they are free to kiss other people.

 

Bottom line, he's not SINGLE, free and clear. He is entangled in a messy relationship, so he's not actually a good guy for YOU to pin your hopes on that he'll be your bf. Especially as you now already KNOW he's the kind of guy that will kiss other girls behind his gf's back. How would you feel if he kissed other girls behind your back when you're fighting but haven't actually broken up?

 

Do not call, do not text. He has your number. If he does not contact you, then you know he was just playing. If he does contact you, make sure you ask him questions about his gf and are very clear that they have broken up - NOT on a "break" - broken up. If they haven't broken up, tell him to call you when he breaks up with her for good.

 

And if you run into him at another party, do not kiss him until you know for sure he's broken up with his gf. You don't want to be a little toy for him to play with whenever he and his gf are fighting.

[TryAndMakeItWork]

Hey Tatum_xoxo,

 

From what you describe this guy that you kissed sounds like the classic, handsome, egotistical, loose-kinda guy. What I mean is, hes looking for a relationship just for a girl, not a relationship. Because of this he is probably expecting you to come to him, because he thinks he's the "Hot $hit" and all the girls want him so he is expecting you to text him. If this is true and you still want a relationship then you have to accept that hes that kinda guy. If you don't think this is true, post something and I'll check back. If I'm misinterpreting the situation please say so.

 

Hope that helps

[Tatum_xoxox]

hey guys aww now thats advice i need lol, nope i havent called or text him and im not going to, next party i will see what happens, everyone seems to think he is too scared to break up with his gf because she is realy psycho. Two nights ago she punched him in the jaw and deliberately wore rings, she stole his phone and pulled his hair!!! im pretty sure they will be over quite soon. But yeah im not sure whether i'd want him as a bf seeing as i know what he can do, and yes he is a real player, but i really really like him and trust me, i aint playing easy lol, he was too scared to kiss me because he thought i wouldnt kiss back and that i didnt like him, because i guess i kinda showed it!! he asked me to go with him somewhere a few times i said yes, but left on the way there(this is at the party) so i hope i wasnt playing too easy, we had a million chances and another whole night on a totally different date to kiss and we never did!!! so i dont know, im quite happy to get to know him more when i see him next (nye i hope lol) and kiss him!! I knwo that somewhere there is a chance that i could get hurt, but im not going to take it too far to the point where i could!! im just going to have a bit of fun i guess!! Hes a really really nice guy i know that im good friends with some of his good friends and they have reassured me and i trust them, but they also told me he was a player, he is definitely a girls kinda guy, he has lots of girl 'friends'. He would never go out of his way to hurt anyone, his only problem is i guess him going behind his gfs back but im also thinking maybe hes only done that because hes girlfriend is a control freak and hes too scared to get rid of her. i dont know but for now im just waiting till he txt me or see him at nye. pretty sure he and his gf are over, btu there is a chance they will get back together!! they usually do lol. Im young and im just happy to have some fun, but i will never go as far to let him use me or push me into anything anytime he wants to.

 

am i going about this the right way?? i really like him and..........i dont know, its not often the guy i like, actually liked me back(whether he does now or nto i dont know lol)

[norajane]

If he's still seeing his gf, it troubles me that you are anticipating the next time you kiss him. Why do you want to get in the middle of that? If that girl is really psycho and punched him in the jaw, what do you think she might do to you when she hears that you're going around kissing her bf at parties?

[Tatum_xoxox]

not if hes got a gf i wont kiss him jeez, shes a psycho shed kill me lol, frankly its his problem anyway, doesnt look like there together anymore, he said hes had enough. he has never told me about her but lucky for me i know from what his friends have told me. i just feel stupid enough that my first kiss had to be with a guy who has a gf, it just makes the whole situation......bull****!!