What goes around comes around

[GreenEyedLady]

they never like to hear the truth when the truth isn't pretty for them to hear, so they paint the OP as a liar.

 

Ohhh that's it!

 

Since when is the OP the shining beacon of the truth?

 

After a couple of posts?

 

Oh, that's you too, huh?!

[GreenEyedLady]

And your sarcasm soooo cements your position and credibility. As for numbers of posts, I guess what you're saying is that once we find the poster with the largest number of posts, we find the person on LS akin to the Dalai Lama.

 

Soooooooo, thank you!

 

For all your truths that are just shining through!

 

What did we ever do without you?

[Cobra_X30]

And your sarcasm soooo cements your position and credibility. As for numbers of posts, I guess what you're saying is that once we find the poster with the largest number of posts, we find the person on LS akin to the Dalai Lama.

 

That would have to be WWIU! Who I think we all can agree makes the Dalai Lama seem average!

 

To you original point however... The truth is out there... I think you just need to keep looking!

[underpants]

Yes, it all boils down to the truth in these matters.

 

I am all to happy to deliver the truth to those in the dark.

[underpants]

And what's your truth, little orange guy w/green undies?

 

I am just that unknown and unrelated entity that will expose an affair or cheating. Then watch the chips fall where they may.

[Cobra_X30]

I have no problem acknowledging "the truth," but others certainly seem to have difficulty with allowing others to share their own stories and claim them to be the truth when said truth doesn't fit in with how they want the story to end.

 

LOL... like I said... the truth is out there! You just need to look hard to find it

 

Ahhhh. So karma wears green underwear then, eh?

 

Well yes, but only on Thursdays!

 

I think Fridays are pink!

[Havn_a_life]

Well....since karma came around 180 and really bit my xW in the arse...I'd say, at least for my situation, you are off the mark.

 

I actually do believe in karma when it comes to cheaters. Why? because its the type of people the cheaters, and people who help them cheat, get as partners that make karma all that much more possible.

 

Case in point...my xW is a cheater...the guy she is with has no quams about bedding down other men's wives...so here they are together now...and what do you know...he doesn't trust her because she cheated on me...with him! LMAO! well duh!!

 

So now she is enduring some pretty bad harranging and possessiveness from him...doesn't like it, but doesn't want to leave him either.

 

So karma came back to bite her big time. And the funny thing is...she is calling me more and more just to engage in small talk. I always have to ask her to get to the point that I'm busy.[/quote]

 

Does it feel good to remind her? I know I would enjoy it. LOL

[3rdI]

Yeah I have a thought:

 

If you think you were terrible chances are you were totally that!

 

I didn't think it...I was and then I grew up. Why? When I realized how many people were hurt and how selfish our behavior had become. The children did it, I settled down and started thinking differently. I did not go out to get a married man, but once I realized he was married I rode the gravy train (so I thought) but got caught up in love. Then he asked me to have the children; we had miscarriages and once I had the baby, he pretty much begged off. I wasn't so hot anymore. I am not that person anymore.

 

Now rather than dwelling on nonsense that has passed and you can never change why don't you try to focus on who you are now and on how you will make the remainder of your life worth living in a light that helps you accept you in a better light.

 

Guilty as charged that's why G_d gave us eyes in the front instead of the back but why do I keep turning around.

 

Afterall destiny is all about what you think you are worth

 

I think I am worth quite a lot now and that is not based upon superficial aspects as it was in my youth, such as looks, money and etc....but this has caused me to revisit my previous state of mind.

 

, if you think you are so terrible and don't deserve to be happy then you will keep attracting bad energy into your life.

 

I do not think that I am terrible...I reformed, repented , put those bad ways behind...but I attract more than my share of drama...before you say it, I am not a drama queen. I think that I still accept people for who they are and I do not expect people to be cowardly and lie. Especially not to that extent. So the bad energy argument is not flying with me...I am good now.

[3rdI]

3rdI, have you ever heard of a river called Denial?

That's the impression I get on here.

You sound like you've had a hard road, and had to face a few things.

You've come out alright though.

It just takes others longer, is all.

Personally, as I'm a FBW, I appreciate your thoughts and opinions on your past.

 

Thank you, But my life hasn't been hard. Au contraire, I have lived the good life. This is new that I have experienced such hurt and pain.

 

I am a strong woman and I had to admit that this guy ran the most game on me....evah. I am beating myself up because if I am sooooooo smart, how did it happen? Before any one answers, I have read other posts and cheaters defy reason. They are wired differently...but darn, I do not want to admit that I was being stupid so I need to explain this away by pointing to my previous life and attitude. It stinks seeing the worst of you coming back at you.

 

I even hate to admit that.

[Tomcat33]

[/b]

 

I do not think that I am terrible...I reformed, repented , put those bad ways behind...but I attract more than my share of drama...before you say it, I am not a drama queen. I think that I still accept people for who they are and I do not expect people to be cowardly and lie. Especially not to that extent. So the bad energy argument is not flying with me...I am good now.

 

 

Ok so the bad energy argument isn't flying with you fair enough.

 

So here you are years down the road with all this knowledge from your past with all this life experience and you are telling us that a man that you met as a known cheater, let you down when you least expected it. And then you want to attribute the actions to bad karma making you pay for your past.

 

Ok.

 

Let's say you were to invest in a volatile stock, or what the financial institutions would call a high risk stock. It looks promising and you know that if things work in your favour you can be a very wealthy woman some day, you also know that if the stock plumets you are in for a big loss. Then you have the option of a steady growth stock that is middle of the road in growth but considered medium to low risk ...but heck you only live once and that volatile stock is looking mighty sexy not to mention the hopes of what could become of you if in a few years if it pans out is even SEXIER! So you go for it.

 

Great! You went for it bought many shares and see what happens, then just as it was going fine on a steady climb BANG! It comes crashing down and you are up the creek. Bloody Karma getting you back for everything you did in your past!

 

The responsible and grown up way to look at things that is also good for your self esteem is to say "Well I lost thousands of $$ but it was money I set aside to gamble with anyway" And hopefully if you set money aside to gamble you thought it through and decided that in the worst case scenario you will still be fine. It will hurt no doubt and no ONE likes to lose, but you'll still be fine.

 

And then there is the way in which you pass all the ownership of your own decisions on to a mythical entity (that also excempts you from taking responsibility of your own choices) is "maaan I have the worst luck in the world why did it happen like this?" and then you start scanning like crazy for memories of your past, faults and errors you committed that must be responsible for this really crappy hand you have been given at this particular point in your life.

 

You gambled to win 3rdI WE ALL DO, but you lost. So you can do the grown up thing and say yeah it was pretty risky of me to trust this guy and have a relationship with him but I did it my way and I had to know either way OR you can dwell on all the "bad luck" that comes your way for all "unpaid" life dues from the past and keep attracting poor scenarios into your life because no matter what you do, Karma will make sure you don't achieve happiness.

 

See to me Karma is just guilt speaking out, and people who live in guilt are not fully taking responsibility for their actions, they are simply leaving it up to chance to some unknonw force that is going to get them to a better place if they are "good". And it doesn't matter you can do charity or acts of kindness for thy neighbour until your hands fall off but if you make conscious decisions to gamble a risky hand then the possbility that something bad could happen is greater.

 

 

But no one wants to admit they can't beat odds. I think you should look at the positive, you took a risk and you did it your way and it didn't pan out, fine, but you did do it your way and chances are it would not have happend any other way if you were to be transported back to that point in time NOT knowing what you know today you probably would have gone through with it again.

 

Going forward you can keep living in Vagas or you can get a place over in Santa Monica and drive up every so often for a weekend getaway of "controlled" naughtiness.

 

I know it sounds cheesy but heck that's what I believe and you gotta beleive in something...

[3rdI]

Ok so the bad energy argument isn't flying with you fair enough.

 

So here you are years down the road with all this knowledge from your past with all this life experience and you are telling us that a man that you met as a known cheater, let you down when you least expected it. And then you want to attribute the actions to bad karma making you pay for your past.

 

I did not know that he was a cheater and had no direct evidence. I just felt it so about 7 months into the relationship...uncovered it 5 months after that.

 

This analysis is still helpful though. I did not know but this rule still applies I believe. The responsible and grown up way to look at things that is also good for your self esteem is to say "Well I lost thousands of $$ but it was money I set aside to gamble with anyway" And hopefully if you set money aside to gamble you thought it through and decided that in the worst case scenario you will still be fine. It will hurt no doubt and no ONE likes to lose, but you'll still be fine.

 

I was being facetious in a sense. And then there is the way in which you pass all the ownership of your own decisions on to a mythical entity (that also excempts you from taking responsibility of your own choices) is "maaan I have the worst luck in the world why did it happen like this?" and

 

I did do this however. then you start scanning like crazy for memories of your past, faults and errors you committed that must be responsible for this really crappy hand you have been given at this particular point in your life.

 

Again this is true even without knowing that he was a cheater to the core. You gambled to win 3rdI WE ALL DO, but you lost.

 

See to me Karma is just guilt speaking out, and people who live in guilt are not fully taking responsibility for their actions,interesting

 

Nope. It would have been different had I known....chances are it would not have happend any other way if you were to be transported back to that point in time NOT knowing what you know today you probably would have gone through with it again.

 

 

I guess I took a lot of time away from relationships to work on myself and find out what I really wanted. This guy was a self professed geek and nice guy...he fooled everyone. This was a departure from my "Mr. Have-a- six figure -income," tall, chocolate and handsome, cultured, sweep my off my feet archtype. He was at my beck and call (I guess when he wasn't scr$%ing...).

 

Now I am questioning, questioning and I can't explain it so I chalked it up to you reap what you sow. I don't want to take responsibility for him cheating especially when he gave me every indication and impression that he was single. In fact, the OW confirmed that he broke up with her when he started dating me (I didn't know this).

[underpants]

It stinks seeing the worst of you coming back at you.

 

I even hate to admit that.

 

No one likes to eat humble pie. Those that can swallow their pride and learn are wiser for it.

 

For what it is worth. I think that when you experience a loss and you can take the time to really look inside yourself to find clarity on the issue that is a very good thing.

 

It makes you grow as a soul. When done with the best intentions then you can make proper changes that will make you someone you are proud to be.

 

No one deserves to be cheated on. If it took someone cheating on you to come to that conclusion then I for one am glad to hear it.

[annabelle75]

they never like to hear the truth when the truth isn't pretty for them to hear, so they paint the OP as a liar.

 

Hee hee .... don't worry I can see the truth. I can also spot a lie when its as obvious as this. It amazes me how people can blindly believe some anonymous poster on an internet forum. If the identities of half the people here were ever revealed, I'm sure we'd all be amzed about how many of them are lying through their teeth. You can't believe eveything you read online. Especially when it so obvious reaks of having an agenda.

[3rdI]

Good post underpants. I made those huge character changes many, many years ago. Even apologize to the BS years later....wrote a letter.

 

It hurts to feel what they must have felt and to know that I put someone through this. When I wrote the letters, I apologized because it hurt so many people, children, parents, siblings...everyone. I did not consider what it actually felt like to the BS to pour everything into a marriage and have someone come and piss on it. Now I know the final part to a long saga and it is not pleasant.