DARSTAR Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 My wife and I have been married for 12 years and have 3 children. The problem we have been arguing mostly about me not finding another job. I do work and have been working for the last 24 years on the same company. My job is not one I am proud of but it is a JOb. Well my wife and I have started to see a marriage counselor and try to work on our marriage. The problem I am having is all through our marriage my wife wore her wedding rings. Man she would not take it off for nothing. Now she will not put them on. She goes out after work to bars to socialize with her fellow employess and then goes to after hours club only on occassion. I ask her to put rings on and she flat out tells me she is not ready. I told her we are going to counselling to work on our marriage and you not wearing your wedding rings does not help. She tells me I will not put it on till I know If I want the marriage. I love my wife and know that if this keeps going. This marriage is going to be over. Has anyone been through this cinerio before?? Darstat Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 I haven't been through it before, but tell us, what is your job? That obviously has a lot to do with it?? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 I think she's up to no good. Going out to bars with co-workers sounds suspicious to me. And not wearing her ring? Um...not good. Like Moose said...the new job. If divorce is floating through her head then she may be possibly thinking of the money issue. If you earn less she gets less or possibly pays more, depending on what she does for a living. Losing your job may have ruined her plans. Link to post Share on other sites
Tripper Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 My wife and I have been married for 12 years and have 3 children. The problem we have been arguing mostly about me not finding another job. I do work and have been working for the last 24 years on the same company. My job is not one I am proud of but it is a JOb. Hi Darstar. Something has changed in your marriage. For the 12 years you've been married the job you did was just fine. Now all of a sudden it's not good enough?? Now she will not put them on. She goes out after work to bars to socialize with her fellow employess and then goes to after hours club only on occassion. I ask her to put rings on and she flat out tells me she is not ready. ... She tells me I will not put it on till I know If I want the marriage. Has anyone been through this cinerio before?? Sorry you have to go through this, but something smells here. She want's to party and bar hop like she was single. Sounds like she's looking to meet or may have already met someone. I can understand questioning whether or not you want to be married, but you don't do it coming by acting as if you're single. You need to have an honest discussion, the difficulty will be to get her to open up with the truth, particularly if she's cheating. MC is good but again if she won't be totally honest, it's kind of pointless. What you should do is get some individual counseling or therapy to help you deal with this. I'd also give her a timeline. She needs to figure this out and make a decision so that you can move forward with your own life. If she can't handle that, then she needs to do some growing up. I say this because once you have children involved you have obligations towards making sure they're properly cared for. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmasMuse Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 I smell something fishy, and it might be she is looking to blame you for something she might be doing or thinking of doing. Going to bars and not wearing the wedding ring all of a sudden after that many years doesn't sound good. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Put your foot down! If she doesnt stop going to bars and crap... KICK HER OUT! You have the power and the authority to do so! By showing her your serious... she will in turn show you her true feelings. She will either bail on the marriage... as she is currently, or she will realize that she wants you! Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Hi Darstar. Something has changed in your marriage. For the 12 years you've been married the job you did was just fine. Now all of a sudden it's not good enough?? Sounds fishy. Going to the bars with no ring sounds like it's more then the job. Link to post Share on other sites
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