kirikat Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 A small encapsulation: I dated this guy for a year, through which he was always ambivalent. Face to face, he was a man in love. When I was out of sight, I was out of mind. Sex was a spiritual experience beyond any I've experience.... he felt the same (I was Ms. Cool - HE said it on his own) Eventually I could no longer stand "I love you, I love you not", and I ended it. After 3 months of a heartsickness that wouldnt end, I called him and told him... "We need to talk" I miss you, I miss you too - my heart skipped a beat.... until, of course, he laid his terms on the table - which were, though elegantly put, "**** buddies". I regrettfully declined those terms. So, he asked me out on a date, and it was like old times. I put out on the second (yes... I know. I have no self control), and declined on the third - telling him I couldnt **** him without feeling something. He contact me, and suggest we could figure out something that would work for both of us. I leave it alone for a few days.... and then I ask him what he means. Again, he elegantly suggests "**** buddies". I deleted him from my phone. I deleted him from IM. I deleted him from email. I just left it alone. Honestly, a person who would repeatedly suggest FWB, when they are clearly aware that the other person is in love is not a decent person. Something went off inside of me. Nice is different than Good - he doesnt deserve me, and I dont deserve to be treated like a whore. Clearly, he is not my friend. My friends don't play with my heart. Now he is contacting me agian. "How are you, Im proud of you, how have you been, etc etc....." Please, guys - he says he doesnt love me. He says that he wants me to be free. But yet, he tries to stay in touch. What does he want? If it is an itch he needs to scratch, he has other trees, I'm sure. Usually I understand men, they have always been my greatest friends and allies. But this one is different, and I can't figure this out at all! HELP Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 He sounds like an incredibly selfish,egotistical b*****d.My blood boils thinking how he can treat you like a piece of meat.You need to completely rid yourself of this vermon and start a better life far away from him.He is so selfish and greedy,he doesn't deserve your company.**** buddies,that really says it all.Go out and get a guy who loves and adores you.They are not readily available,but they're not scarce either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kirikat Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 (Just to be clear... he didnt use that term. Thats mine. His terms, to be exact, that we could go out when he felt like it, and see each other now and then..... but without it being a relationship.... ) No matter how nicely that is said... its still **** buddies. Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 No matter how nicely that is said... its still **** buddies. Same difference.Bottom line,if you want to be his side kick and it suits you then fine.If you want more than that then move on.His feelings are not there,if yours are then hurt is inevitable.So cut your losses and drop him like a hot poker.You'll be glad you did.Then you can concentrate on someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
kitkat289 Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 This is because we, women are emotional fools....Iam sure something of this kind is there on my cards too within some weeks(when he comes here) and Iam trying soo hard not to even show him my face but just talk nicely on the phone like now.And by the way thinking of such a relationship shows how cheap he is...my ex used to ask me if Iam ok if he talks mushy sometimes and said that he would stop doing it when I have a bf.(just teasing me) but cannot do anything that could affect me,he still cares. We need to stop analysing the few nice things or finding some hints and be strong so that they can respect us.And by the way why should we suffer by their puzzling actions, why not make him mad by your actions...one day let him feel you are so cool and next day kick his butt(ignore...keep busy).Let him do the task of thinking what you are doing and whyyy!! Link to post Share on other sites
thelegend Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Wait a minute kitkat you said you regrettably turned down the initial **** buddy offer come on now. After he suggested that I'd never talk to him again. You should have let him know you are not settling for nothing less than a complete relationship otherwise we can't talk. Period Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 If he wants a good lay, he can pay for it. I can't believe (well, I can believe but I'm not happy with you about this) you are still confusing really good sex with love. He isn't. He didn't even come to your opening.! This guy is a total jerk. One step forward, two steps back, now get out there and go three steps forward and don't give in to him anymore. You need a picture? Here's you thinking, wow, this is the most amazing connection ever! I've never had such great sex, he is sooo special, I love him so much. Here's him - hmm. that was good. I wonder what Susy is doing tonight. I like how she does <fill in the blank> so much better and she doesn't want anything else from me. You know what is right here and sometimes, more often than not, it takes more than 1 time to quit something you are addicted to. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts