i should give up or be patient...

[ledatuan]

hi,

 

I have been with this girl for 1.5 years. There was some good and bad memory. But because I got so tired of her acting jealous and unreasonable, I suggested breaking up with her 3 months ago. She went insane and crazy. She called me everyday. Seriously that was tough time in my life. But I still loved her. So I still talked to her but not like everyday talking like boyfriend and girlfriend. We still hung out. But she made me confused cuz she still stayed the same (crazy jealousy.)

 

Then about a month ago after I got back from Cali, we hung out. She said she still loved me so much. Even if I moved to Cali for 2 years (I have to go to school down there,) she would wait for me. She told me that I could do watever. I could even get girl to hang out for fun. I was like "do you really love me that much":lmao: and my feeling for her started getting stronger. But then I think it is not fair for her. I left her without contacting her for like 5 days. Also, we didn't believe in long distance relationship.

 

I had to get surgery in the following week. So I called her to let her know that she didn't have to worry about giving me a ride up there because I had trouble to look for one. But after surgery time, she was still kinda talking to me but not really. She kept saying that she wanted to come and visit me but then she cancelled with some stupid excuse. I asked her what's wrong and she said nothing. But I could tell.

 

Anyway, I came to see her on the thanksgiving night. She took a while to open the door. I knew that she was buzy to delete all the messages and phone number on her cell. So I asked her "what's wrong?" She said "I am done with you. I had a bf now." She brought out a bunch of condum and told me "we had sex". I was like wat the... But then later she told me "I told you this to make you give up." And the bad thing was that I let emotion control me and turn to be "wussy" begging and pleading and stuff. I asked her if I could hug her. She didn't say anything and I came and hug her. I said "man I miss you so much I ddin't see you for long time. I wish you could be sweet like this." She put her hands around me and said "I could do everything you want." I asked her for a kiss and she suddenly turned away "no, I had a bf now." I was like "man you just hugged and said something like that." She was like "no I didn't say that." And she called her bf and talked to him and asked me to leave because she gotta talk to him.

 

I left. But then I turned to be too emotional and didn't know what I was doing. I kept calling her and begging her to come back. I know this is stupid of me. But in the end she said "no, it is too late. I gave you chances but you messed them up. After you are done everything to me and now you want me back. Well I could wait for you 2 years but then I need to move on. I knew how you feel because I have been there. Suffer yourself and get over it. I gotta talk to my bf now. Don't call me or text or email me." She even told me that that guy was in her room lately but I knew she lied. Basically I have begged her for 3 days. But I think it was really over and I had nothing to say because I left her first.

 

So then she called me after 10 days of NC. She asked me "how my knee (surgery) is doing." I responded "it is doing fine. How was you finals?" And she said "yea got buzy and stuff." And then I told her that I gotta go and would call her back. She said "no you don't have to call me back." And she texted me right after the hang-up "I just wanted to let you know that there was a person willing to take care of kiki (our puppy) thanks for the offer. Have a good nite... psh... i mean have a good life... psycho." I was like wat the... and kind of laughing because things she had done before even crazier than wat i really did.

 

Anyway I texted her back 2 days later "that's good. I wouldnt have much time to take care of her (the puppy) anyway." The puppy really loved me and even more than her. She called me right back and yelled at me "why you are such an assh..... Stop being an assho** I wasn't assho** to you doesn't mean you have to be assho** to me." I was like "why?" She said "just stop being an assho**" I didn't say anything or argue back with her." I told her "if you already decided to move on. Leave me my space. I gave you your space." She was like "yes you gave space. but just stop being an assh.... I aleady moved on. My bf is super nice to me." I said "I am happy for you" but inside it was really hurted. And she asked me that "are you dating right now. Just stop hanging out with young girl." I knew she had been tracking on my myspace. I told her "not really, just hang out." And I told her I gotta go and would call her back later. She gave me same cold answer "Have fun. you don't have to call me back" and hung up. I didn't call her back so far.

 

It has been 3 weeks living in hell. I can't sleep or eat well. I was so regreted things I did because if you really love someone, long distance would not be matter. I dreamed of her every nite:o. But I think it was too late. She has been having fun with another guy and I think I should wish her happy instead of trying to get her back. But I still miss her so much. Even though I went to hang out with some girl, I didn't feel rite.

 

The things I don't understand about her is that she loved me so much. But then why she had to lye to me if she wanna move on. And I dont' understand that in only 9 days she could easily move on to another guy. Anyway do you think if she was just testing me because I didn't give me enough attention or she did really move on? she'll have a trip back to her hometown next week and I felt like I would never see her again.

Please inform me some advice! It has been really tough.

 

Thanks for being patient reading this long post.

[thelegend]

Hey brother sorry you are having a hard time. I've went through this same thing. So I know exactly what to tell you. 1. She hasn't moved on she may have a new guy but she doesn't love or barely like him. If she did she wouldn't have contacted you at all. The notion that she called to ask about your knee means she's been thinking about you and that's the best way she could hear your voice. 2. Continue to give her time and space. I'll bet good money whomever this guy is won't last. She still wants you that's why she hugged you if you would have just kissed her naturally instead of asking she wouldn't have stopped you. Just be cool and take it day by day I know how it is missing someone and not being able to fully move on. Give her and yourself time. You want to be in the position to where even if she doesn't come back you've healed enough to where you don't want her I know how difficult it is but time heals all wounds. My money says she'll be back don't sweat it.

[ledatuan]

Hey brother sorry you are having a hard time. I've went through this same thing. So I know exactly what to tell you. 1. She hasn't moved on she may have a new guy but she doesn't love or barely like him. If she did she wouldn't have contacted you at all. The notion that she called to ask about your knee means she's been thinking about you and that's the best way she could hear your voice. 2. Continue to give her time and space. I'll bet good money whomever this guy is won't last. She still wants you that's why she hugged you if you would have just kissed her naturally instead of asking she wouldn't have stopped you. Just be cool and take it day by day I know how it is missing someone and not being able to fully move on. Give her and yourself time. You want to be in the position to where even if she doesn't come back you've healed enough to where you don't want her I know how difficult it is but time heals all wounds. My money says she'll be back don't sweat it.

 

I really appreciate your post. It help me relieve a lot.

So then in your situation, your girl came back to you and blowed that guy away? Because you left her first, then she played this for hard to get or something. It is really confusing me. If she doesn't care about that guy, then why should she just have come back to me if I showed her that I tried to make things work out:eek:?

thanks

[thelegend]

Sorry it's taken me a minute to get back to you. In my situation she left me for another guy. We had quit talking for about 3 weeks then she called. She told me they were moving to Atlanta and all that. And how he was the one and all that jazz. But then a few weeks later she asked me for sex. And then 2 weeks later she called and told me how unhappy she was with him and that she was leaving him. Now for the whole month of October she made him out to be the best man a woman can find then all of a sudden he was the worst man she'd ever met. It's just pride my brother women have more pride than we do. Don't be confused brother if she was all into that guy like i said there wouldn't be any contact what so ever. Think about it like this put yourself in her shoes if you had the woman of your dreams like they try to make these men seem like would you really want to talk to her if you had the best woman alive? Hell no! Would you even answer her calls? Hell No! Pride brother women have unreal pride but that also makes the redemption sweeter because you know these guys aren't living up to the hype. Stay strong find you a play thing till she comes around completely trust me she will.

[ledatuan]

Sorry it's taken me a minute to get back to you. In my situation she left me for another guy. We had quit talking for about 3 weeks then she called. She told me they were moving to Atlanta and all that. And how he was the one and all that jazz. But then a few weeks later she asked me for sex. And then 2 weeks later she called and told me how unhappy she was with him and that she was leaving him. Now for the whole month of October she made him out to be the best man a woman can find then all of a sudden he was the worst man she'd ever met. It's just pride my brother women have more pride than we do. Don't be confused brother if she was all into that guy like i said there wouldn't be any contact what so ever. Think about it like this put yourself in her shoes if you had the woman of your dreams like they try to make these men seem like would you really want to talk to her if you had the best woman alive? Hell no! Would you even answer her calls? Hell No! Pride brother women have unreal pride but that also makes the redemption sweeter because you know these guys aren't living up to the hype. Stay strong find you a play thing till she comes around completely trust me she will.

 

TheLegend,

 

hey thanks for the reply. But I don't know bro. Why your girl left you for another guy anyway? For me, because I left her and didn't give her any attention, totally for a while without contact, then she moved on with another guy and seem like this guy has followed her for a while. I don't know if my situation as I posted above is similar to yours or any experience you gained might share with me.

 

thanks