Guys, Learn the GAME, join PUA community

[yongyong]

I see a lot of guys asking questions from females

'does she like me' etc

 

It's better to ask guys......

 

If I ask girls how I should approach them

A lot of girls say 'as long as he is sincere and honest........blah blah shixs'

If you listen to them and tell girls how pretty they are, how much you think about them, you are fall in love with them, you will be treated like average guys

 

I recently found out that sales and meeting a girl is the Same thing.

 

you won't ask a customer about how you should close the deal with other customers. it's better to ask fellow sales person.(guys)

 

Guys, if you want to pick up girls, join the PUA community and learn the GAME. I know many girls will say 'you guys are disgusting' (totally bullsxit)

but think about sales people having discussion about how to close the sales. If you happen to listen to that conversation, you would feel bad.

 

So let's say if you are just honest sales man (like nice guy to a girl) but don't know how to present right (there's many sales tactics associated with psychology same as Pick up routines)

Do you think customers will buy from you just because you are ****in honest??? NO!

 

Do you know how it feels like when customers leave and go to other business who charges more and even have worse service because they are good at sales???????????

(it's like how a nice guy feels when he sees his crush with a jerk)

 

 

If you really want to know how to approach girls, what you should say and how to get laid with a girl you like, join pua forums.

[sb129]

If you want to get LAID- ask another guy.

 

If you want a long term girlfriend- its helpful to have a females input.

[lindya]

If you want to get LAID- ask another guy.

 

What's the correct protocol for guys doing that?

[sb129]

What's the correct protocol for guys doing that?

 

 

I just realised how that must have read!

 

This is a failsafe way to get laid (with either sex)

 

"I like you. You want make sexy time?"

 

 

I meant... if you want to get laid with a woman, take advice about women from men.

 

If you want a girlfriend, take advice about women from women.

[Trialbyfire]

If you want to get LAID- ask another guy.

You know that guys are always up for it...

 

If you want a long term girlfriend- its helpful to have a females input.

Exactly, but also, you have to be prepared to provide the right information, so members are able to get a better picture of who she is and the dynamics/potential dynamics between the two of you.

 

Keep in mind that any cookie cutter advice isn't always the best way to go. For example, some girls are a little more tentative, others aren't, some love being told they're beautiful by a strange guy, others couldn't be bothered to even talk to a strange guy.

[Lovegod]

Keep in mind that any cookie cutter advice isn't always the best way to go.

 

Cookie cutter advice is for cookie cutter situations. If you read this forum, you'll know that it's FULL of cookie cutter situations. I see the same crap every day, and I usually end up giving the same advice for each one.

 

"We fight all the time, how do we fix it?"

You don't. You move on.

 

"There's this girl I like, but she wants to be friends"

She's not sexually attracted to you. Move on.

 

"How do I ask this girl out?"

Approach, converse, get her number, call with date plans.

 

"This guy holds hands with me, kisses me, and gave me a ring. Does he like me?"

YES.

 

Most of the questions on here are repetitive, and so will the answers. When this happens, the personalities of each person are irrelevant.

[Trialbyfire]

Cookie cutter advice is for cookie cutter situations. If you read this forum, you'll know that it's FULL of cookie cutter situations. I see the same crap every day, and I usually end up giving the same advice for each one.

Note the optimum phrasing of "isn't always"?

 

"We fight all the time, how do we fix it?"

You don't. You move on.

My advice would be, both of you need to grow up and learn to discuss, compromise and give. If it's irreconcilable issues, then yes, move on.

 

"There's this girl I like, but she wants to be friends"

She's not sexually attracted to you. Move on.

My advice: Have you tried flirting with her? If she doesn't show signs of interest, you can't control how she feels about you.

 

"How do I ask this girl out?"

Approach, converse, get her number, call with date plans.

My advice: Agreed.

 

"This guy holds hands with me, kisses me, and gave me a ring. Does he like me?"

YES.

My advice: Duh, umm...yeah...

 

Most of the questions on here are repetitive, and so will the answers. When this happens, the personalities of each person are irrelevant.

We're talking about relationships, not the hit and run date. Each relationship is driven by the two personalities. Yes, there are things that are consistent between good and bad relationships but much of it is how much effort you want to put into it and how little/more you, as a person, are willing to settle/hold out for.

 

One person's abusive relationship, is another's Heaven. Healthy, probably not, but everyone is wired differently.

[amerikajin]

You know that guys are always up for it...

 

 

Exactly, but also, you have to be prepared to provide the right information, so members are able to get a better picture of who she is and the dynamics/potential dynamics between the two of you.

 

Keep in mind that any cookie cutter advice isn't always the best way to go. For example, some girls are a little more tentative, others aren't, some love being told they're beautiful by a strange guy, others couldn't be bothered to even talk to a strange guy.

 

That's pretty much how I see it.

 

I think picking up women is the easy part; it's picking up women who match you on different levels and who are going in the same direction in life and so on.

 

Guys stumble mainly because they're insecure. They aren't confident about who they are, so they think they either don't bother asking chicks out in the first place or think they have to put on some sort of show to impress a woman. Chicks see through that. I'm semi-friends with this dude who is forever f*cking it up with women. He's physically attractive and generally very charming and charismatic, but he just does not know when to shut up and he kills it every last time he tries to make a move. If he would just chill out he'd probably humping chicks all over town.

 

Getting a woman (whether it's for sex on the run or a long-term relationship) starts with being comfortable in your own skin. But that's an internal evolution, not something that happens by reading advice on a website. It just has to happen. For me it's a work in progress, but it's happening. I won't deny that I go through phases where I have doubts about myself, but I don't think I'm unique in that regard. I occasionally get very frustrated. But I still keep trying, because trying and being disappointed is more exciting than quitting. It's living life, which is better than the alternative....

 

Based on my own experiences, once you've straightened your outlook out a bit, getting a woman is as easy as recognizing she's interested in more than just friendship. You have to know the signs of interest, read body language and read between the lines of communication. You also do have to LISTEN...chicks don't lie when they tell you that.

 

From a guy's point of view, you have to understand that a woman is generally the one with the power; she's the gatekeeper. She decides whether the relationship continues or not - you just show up to the interview and hope you pass. Once you take that approach, you can then just relax and be yourself. You can ask her questions and listen, and occasionally, tell her about yourself (if she wants to know). As a man, you don't ever initiate anything until you've received some sort of cues from her, but those cues are usually going to be non-verbal or indirect, so you have to pay careful attention. You don't approach her until she's smiled at you; you don't ask her out until she's dropped a hint or two that she's curious about you on some level; you don't ever, ever touch her unless she's touched you first. Women like their space and it is very carefully protected. Once you learn to read and react rather than aimlessly initiating, your success with women will increase. You won't have to play games or wonder what's up because you'll just know by reading the situation.

[gfto]

If you want a long term girlfriend- its helpful to have a females input.

I've found input from other guys to be far more useful. I was one of those guys who was always striking out until I quit listening to the same tired advice from women (you're such a nice guy; you just haven't found a woman who appreciates a nice guy like you, etc). It was only when I started listening to guys who were successful with women (whether it be just getting laid frequently or a long-term relationship) that I found myself in a good long-term relationship.

[oppath]

I've found input from other guys to be far more useful. I was one of those guys who was always striking out until I quit listening to the same tired advice from women (you're such a nice guy; you just haven't found a woman who appreciates a nice guy like you, etc). It was only when I started listening to guys who were successful with women (whether it be just getting laid frequently or a long-term relationship) that I found myself in a good long-term relationship.

 

I think mimicking guys behavior to initially attract women, and to assert boundaries, is great. The PUA community, however...most of those guys spend far more time on their forum than anyone on LS. There are some people who are great with women but many of the men lack social skills and have no passions that make them interesting. So I have no doubt that they can benefit from the PUA community, but nomoreso than any social community. The PUA community is largely "this theory will help you so buy this ebook." So many of the men who participate have nothing going for them, which is why they need help with women. I've witnessed it first hand. The best thing they are taught is how to approach without fear and how to ask for a number and not be afraid. You can learn those things other ways. Nothing is wrong with exploring that community but it is not the cure and many men are consumed by it and are miserable.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I find the PUA community fascinating, but probably not for what they would want me to find fascinating. I read "The Game" a while back, and found the backstories of some of these guys far more interesting than any of the techniques they use. What is ironic is that some of them are the types I would have gone out with before they became big time pick up artists.

[oppath]

I find the PUA community fascinating, but probably not for what they would want me to find fascinating. I read "The Game" a while back, and found the backstories of some of these guys far more interesting than any of the techniques they use. What is ironic is that some of them are the types I would have gone out with before they became big time pick up artists.

 

The backstories of those guys was interesting. What was also interesting was how some of them were MISERABLE. You can learn things from the PUA community. Mostly they force you to modify your behaviors, taking risks with women. For someone who is not used to that, it will open many doors and blow your mind. At the same time, it is largely marketing a product to men with low confidence and social skills. I actually would advise men to casually explore the community; I'd just recommend they don't full enter it. Many people lose themselves in it, spend thou$and$, when all they'd need to do is ask a guy friend who is good with women "how can I get better?"

[amerikajin]

The backstories of those guys was interesting. What was also interesting was how some of them were MISERABLE. You can learn things from the PUA community. Mostly they force you to modify your behaviors, taking risks with women. For someone who is not used to that, it will open many doors and blow your mind. At the same time, it is largely marketing a product to men with low confidence and social skills. I actually would advise men to casually explore the community; I'd just recommend they don't full enter it. Many people lose themselves in it, spend thou$and$, when all they'd need to do is ask a guy friend who is good with women "how can I get better?"

 

I don't know if they're all necessarily miserable, but in the end, it is a lonely existence. I know a guy back in Japan who got to be a big-time pick up artist after some practice - but he never had a steady girlfriend and when I last saw him it was almost like he wouldn't know what to do if he actually had a girlfriend. I went through a period about two or three years ago after I broke up with a girlfriend I had of a year when I just dated and slept with girls just for the hell of it. I thought it would be fun but it never quite lived up to my expectations. At the end of the day, I think I'd like to be with someone I can connect with.

 

I agree with you that the PUA community is good for people who are too timid to approach women, and I've gained a lot of insight into attraction by reading some of the more famous (or infamous) columnists. Some of the advice I knew right off the bat wasn't for me -- it might actually "work" in the sense that you can get chicks if you get it down to a science, but what I was really after was finding the right one (which I still haven't done yet). I can pick up chicks fairly easily now, which is not to say that I get all the women I want, but it means that I can be fairly confident that if I wanted to actually go out and find *someone* to date, I could without any problem. The key is finding someone I want to date again and again, and then of course they have to want to date me again and again as well.

[oppath]

I can be fairly confident that if I wanted to actually go out and find *someone* to date, I could without any problem. The key is finding someone I want to date again and again, and then of course they have to want to date me again and again as well.

 

And this is something most PUA's admit: GAME does not necessarily help you develop relationships. You can get lots of dates and thereby have more exposure to more women who may be right for you, but those skills often do not help you beyond date 3. Style, the guy in The Game, seemed to learn that, that at some point, in the end, the girls for him really would have wanted the him BEFORE he was a PUA, and he'd have to drop some of his PUA game. It's just that he wouldn't have met some of those women without going through his experience.

 

I think LS is a great place for RELATIONSHIP advice, and DATING advice as in date-date-date with the same person. This isn't a good place for "how do I meet women if I lack confidence and have never dated." But the PUA community is only one path and should be explored cautiously as many people in it rarely pick up women, they just spend all their time bragging about theories, etc.

[lindya]

I think LS is a great place for RELATIONSHIP advice, and DATING advice as in date-date-date with the same person. This isn't a good place for "how do I meet women if I lack confidence and have never dated."

 

That's a very good point. I know that I'm very guilty of saying "no no no...that's not the way to do it" when men are talking about picking up women. I'm focusing on how they should project themselves in order to be the kind of man educated and discerning women would want a relationship with, but that's not the info they're necessarily looking for. What they want to know is "how can I get laid tonight?" Other men can tell them "well...here's what works for me" and it's probably a lot more helpful than hearing a woman say "this is my idea of Prince Charming." On the other hand...

 

But the PUA community is only one path and should be explored cautiously as many people in it rarely pick up women, they just spend all their time bragging about theories, etc.

 

You hit the nail on the head with that. A lot of the message board boasting you read sounds like the present day equivalent of a 1970s medallion man reeking of cheap aftershave and oozing from sunbed to sunbed as he pesters all the pretty ladies round the pool. I'm sure back in the seventies and eighties, that guy was convinced he had the secret key to every woman's chastity belt...and wouldn't be convinced otherwise.

 

Thinking about it again....old style medallion man, the popular figure of fun, maybe did get laid on a regular basis. It's a little like a woman getting long, platinum hair extensions, enormous implants, basting herself mahogany in a sunbed, piling on several inches of make up and tottering around in 5 inch heels. It might be tacky and obvious. People might laugh and mock...but meantime, Medallion man and Extension-head are at it like rabbits in springtime.

[Trialbyfire]

but meantime, Medallion man and Extension-head are at it like rabbits in springtime.

Thanks for almost making me spit out my mouthful of coffee from laughing. Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock popped into mind, although the two aren't together anymore.

 

So guys, do you really want to be Kid Rock?

[Mustang Sally]

So guys, do you really want to be Kid Rock?

Eeeeeewwwwww.

Kid Rock?

D.I.S.G.U.S.T.

 

[Trialbyfire]

Eeeeeewwwwww.

Kid Rock?

D.I.S.G.U.S.T.

 

I'm sorry, how about Tommy Lee?

[Mustang Sally]

I'm sorry, how about Tommy Lee?

<slapping forehead in amazement>

 

You know?

I've never thought about Pam in these terms before...(admittedly, I haven't given her much of my think-time), but you're RIGHT!

 

WTF is UP with her and these disgusting men?

I mean really?

 

She is (apparently) so babelicious that she could "get" just about any man with intact blood flow to his penis, so....what's up with this?

 

Does she just have low self-esteem? Or she's more in to money than looks (re: another thread here at LS)?

 

What do you suppose?

 

()

[Trialbyfire]

<slapping forehead in amazement>

 

You know?

I've never thought about Pam in these terms before...(admittedly, I haven't given her much of my think-time), but you're RIGHT!

 

WTF is UP with her and these disgusting men?

I mean really?

 

She is (apparently) so babelicious that she could "get" just about any man with intact blood flow to his penis, so....what's up with this?

 

Does she just have low self-esteem? Or she's more in to money than looks (re: another thread here at LS)?

 

What do you suppose?

 

()

Haha...based on her tastes in men, I would say she's into crack!!

[Cobra_X30]

WTF is UP with her and these disgusting men?

I mean really?

 

She is (apparently) so babelicious that she could "get" just about any man with intact blood flow to his penis, so....what's up with this?

 

Does she just have low self-esteem? Or she's more in to money than looks (re: another thread here at LS)?

 

What do you suppose?

 

()

 

 

Are you kidding? Pam Anderson is so fake. If plastic really turns you one you might as well buy a blow up doll as they are much cheaper!

 

Also... your talking about guys who have women falling all over them!!! I mean seriously... the question should be more like why are they going for Ms. Anderson?

[yongyong]

The first thing you will and should learn is how to get rid of Approach Anxiety and Shyness.

 

Girls are scared of shy guy.

Customers are suspicious about shy sales person.

 

People say 'you are a great guy, just be yourself'

If 'being your self' means shy, you should change that.

 

Why do guys get frustrated? because they had all plans to **** her at the end and didn't work out?????????

 

NO! they have all theses genuine feelings about her but she doesn't give a damn because of this initial shyness at first contact (most guys won't feel shy after couple hangouts but will they get a SECOND chance????)

 

 

This is the way it is. Don't try to change the world (girls). Just change yourself

[Trialbyfire]

The first thing you will and should learn is how to get rid of Approach Anxiety and Shyness.

I couldn't agree more but getting rid of fear of any kind, is good universally. It can only benefit anyone, male or female.

 

Girls are scared of shy guy.

Wrong. Many girls/women have no time for shy guys. They are a lot of work.

Customers are suspicious about shy sales person.

Customers ignore sales people in general. If you're shy, you'll never get their attention.

 

People say 'you are a great guy, just be yourself'

If 'being your self' means shy, you should change that.

Shyness is not an asset in general. It stymies your personal growth and possibilities in life.

 

Why do guys get frustrated? because they had all plans to **** her at the end and didn't work out?????????

 

NO! they have all theses genuine feelings about her but she doesn't give a damn because of this initial shyness at first contact (most guys won't feel shy after couple hangouts but will they get a SECOND chance????)

Shyness is all about missed opportunities, with women or in life.

 

This is the way it is. Don't try to change the world (girls). Just change yourself

I strongly agree with this. Being shy is restricting to anyone, as a person.

[monkey00]

The downside of PUA forums is that there are a lot of inexperienced members on there who give bad/wrong advice...those keyboard jockeys spend more time in front of the computer than getting the experience. While there are more mature and older members who have the experience do give good advice..though the former is more common. The upside I can see of those forums is it is often a good motivator to post your accomplishments, and get support from fellow members to improving your dating scene.

 

While it is more common that guys give better advice about dealing with women than women, you shouldn't narrowly listen to one side of the story pertaining to the opposite sex from just one sex alone. There are multiple ways of dealing with women and attracting them, there is no universal law that applies (maybe certain things)...but in the end, everyone is different and unpredictable because life is unpredictable.

 

Though one thing I like about this forum is the wisdom and experience the members here have in regards to all areas - especially relationships. Though I think those PUA forums do offer good general advice that not everyone knows like asking a girl out or what to do on dates.

[oppath]

Though I think those PUA forums do offer good general advice that not everyone knows like asking a girl out or what to do on dates.

 

Yes, the PUA community does a great job advising meeting, flirting with, and getting the first 3 dates or so. After that, when you need to open up and make yourself vulnerable, the game changes. For most people, overcoming their approach anxiety is all they need, because once that is out of the way, they realize they have all the skills. Seeing how other men flirt is huge for men who aren't used to it. Seeing that it is ok to be sexual, while not necessarily being sexual with the woman of interest, is a great thing to learn.

 

For example: in my dance class, the instructor who I typically flirt with and 3 girls all had bruises on their hips from moves the previous class. They were pulling down their pants comparing bruises and she asked me "do you have a bruise too oppath." Nothing is wrong with saying in front of everybody "if you're trying to get me to pull my pants down, you'll need a better ruse than that." Everybody laughed, it wasn't sexually directed at her. Flirting off the cuff like that is a skill I didn't pick up until I'd observe other men.