White Flower Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 Honestly, I don't need to be "taken care of". I can cook and clean and wash clothes as well as most women (I can even sew!). But I still don't mind being "babied" once in a while, if you know what I mean. I just love taking care of a man who isn't needy. It is so much more rewarding to baby him then. BTW, there is a difference between needing someone and being needy. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 sorry for the t/j, and sorry reboot to pounce on your words of wisdom, but honestly, this is one of those reasons why MM are so much more attractive than SGs. Most MM have learned at least basic coping skills (aside from WF's H ) if only in self-defence. SGs typically think "cooking" means phoning Mr Delivery for MacDonalds, cleaning is holding the greasy plate under the running tap until the last chip has washed down the drain and jeans are not in need of washing until they come running when you call them. What woman, honestly, wants to invest the kind of effort required in taming that level of public health risk when she can find someone who's already housebroken and knows the meaning of the word "simmer"? Very well stated! I often ask MM how he got so...good at everything. He never credits his W, but I do believe she had something to do with it; at least a little. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 sorry for the t/j, and sorry reboot to pounce on your words of wisdom, but honestly, this is one of those reasons why MM are so much more attractive than SGs. Most MM have learned at least basic coping skills (aside from WF's H ) if only in self-defence. SGs typically think "cooking" means phoning Mr Delivery for MacDonalds, cleaning is holding the greasy plate under the running tap until the last chip has washed down the drain and jeans are not in need of washing until they come running when you call them. What woman, honestly, wants to invest the kind of effort required in taming that level of public health risk when she can find someone who's already housebroken and knows the meaning of the word "simmer"? Wow. I don't know where you're finding all these feeble men you've described here. Almost every single man I've known as of late is proficient in the kitchen. However, I'm finding more and more young gals who cannot cook a damn thing. Link to post Share on other sites
kchiapet95 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Almost every single man I've known as of late is proficient in the kitchen. Steer them my way, will you? None of my guy friends can cook. Of course, I'm young still, but...I'm not the best cook either, but I can hold my own, and I love to try and experiment. All the men I've met are complete babies, mama does laundry, you get my drift. Maybe because they're still young. I don't see it! Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 sorry for the t/j, and sorry reboot to pounce on your words of wisdom, but honestly, this is one of those reasons why MM are so much more attractive than SGs. Most MM have learned at least basic coping skills (aside from WF's H ) if only in self-defence. SGs typically think "cooking" means phoning Mr Delivery for MacDonalds, cleaning is holding the greasy plate under the running tap until the last chip has washed down the drain and jeans are not in need of washing until they come running when you call them. What woman, honestly, wants to invest the kind of effort required in taming that level of public health risk when she can find someone who's already housebroken and knows the meaning of the word "simmer"? That's just dumb. Not all MM are responsible! Just like not all SG are irresponsible. Your problem is that you are unable to tell the difference. I'm not going to marry a woman to clean up after me. If I want that I will hire a maid! Actually, I do have a maid... I suppose that ruins my point. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 I'm not going to marry a woman to clean up after me. If I want that I will hire a maid! Actually, I do have a maid... I suppose that ruins my point. Eerrr.. yes it does Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Wow. I don't know where you're finding all these feeble men you've described here. Almost every single man I've known as of late is proficient in the kitchen. However, I'm finding more and more young gals who cannot cook a damn thing. I know a lot of men (brothers included) around the age of 30ish that can cook and older men too. Guys around my age don't know anything about cooking - maybe they are just not interested. As for the young women - yes! Most of my friends know nothing about cooking. They prefer dining out which is not bad once in a while but every single day?? No way! Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Eerrr.. yes it does Well... I'm not going to marry my maid. Although I did see a company name Merry Maids... or was that Marry Maids? Anyway... to finish my point... since I got so sidetracked. Tripper, Your friend was overweight and settled for what she thought was the best she could hope for. She has grown and learned. Life works that way sometimes. I honestly doubt as TC suggests that she just didnt want to be "tied down". Also, for those Ladies who feel required to 'raise' your husbands. Responsibility, like everything else in life... takes practice. You will never get good at it if someone else always does it for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Well... I'm not going to marry my maid. Although I did see a company name Merry Maids... or was that Marry Maids? Anyway... to finish my point... since I got so sidetracked. Tripper, Your friend was overweight and settled for what she thought was the best she could hope for. She has grown and learned. Life works that way sometimes. I honestly doubt as TC suggests that she just didnt want to be "tied down". Also, for those Ladies who feel required to 'raise' your husbands. Responsibility, like everything else in life... takes practice. You will never get good at it if someone else always does it for you. so why did she stay with the guy for 20yrs AFTER she lost the weight? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Anyway... to finish my point... since I got so sidetracked. It's okay, Cobra - you being good looking, you can get away with everything! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 So Cobra according to you having a poor physical self image = a long term affair..puuuuhlease!! The woman enetered a LTR with a married man because she was fat. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 So Cobra according to you having a poor physical self image = a long term affair..puuuuhlease!! The woman enetered a LTR with a married man because she was fat. Hey, don't knock that reasoning! I've known several women stay married because they've felt bad about their extra weight / sagging boobs / grey hair and wrinkles and didn't rate their chances of finding anything worth having at the meat market. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 That's just dumb. Not all MM are responsible! ummm Cobra you missed the word "most" in my post... Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 so why did she stay with the guy for 20yrs AFTER she lost the weight? Not exactly how I read the story. However, understand that there is no rehab center for OW. So Cobra according to you having a poor physical self image = a long term affair..puuuuhlease!! The woman enetered a LTR with a married man because she was fat. Hmmm... How many willing OW do you see in good situations and healthy self images? Face it, not many women are looking to be life long spinsters. Seriously... at the end of the day... who wants a house full of cats? ummm Cobra you missed the word "most" in my post... LOL... I did miss the word most! My bad. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Hmmm... How many willing OW do you see in good situations and healthy self images? now that's a no-win question! For any example given, lots of people will argue that that's not a "good" situation or a "healthy" self-image! Those terms are so subjective you'll hardly find anyone to agree on them in any context, let alone an emotive one like this! Face it, not many women are looking to be life long spinsters. Seriously... at the end of the day... who wants a house full of cats? I'm allergic to cats, but I'm pretty partial to dogs. They beat kids, any day - they actually listen when you speak, and don't play Snow Patrol at volumes that shatter the neighbour's windscreen. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 now that's a no-win question! For any example given, lots of people will argue that that's not a "good" situation or a "healthy" self-image! Those terms are so subjective you'll hardly find anyone to agree on them in any context, let alone an emotive one like this! I'm allergic to cats, but I'm pretty partial to dogs. They beat kids, any day - they actually listen when you speak, and don't play Snow Patrol at volumes that shatter the neighbour's windscreen. Simple... if your in a good situation and have a healthy self image... your going to be happy! And yes... happy is subjective... what isnt? Now, I'm going to take your commentary on children as toungue in cheek, because if you can't see that kids are more rewarding than dogs... Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Now, I'm going to take your commentary on children as toungue in cheek, because if you can't see that kids are more rewarding than dogs... I've never had a dog phone me up at 3am to ask for a lift home from a party because she lost her cellphone (again!) and so couldn't find the friend who'd promised her a lift, and now everyone's gone and it's pretty spooky, and she's not exactly sure where she is and she can't talk long because she's borrowing a phone from some guy who's passed out and he might wake up and get upset if he hears her talking... Nor has a dog ever come home from school with a letter because he got into an argument with a teacher over the fairness of suspending a classmate who got into a fight with another classmate over whether a remark in a history book was racist or not... Nor has a dog outgrown three coats in a single winter, nor worn holes in two pairs of jeans in a single month, nor cleaned out the entire fridge in a single afternoon and then still been hungry when I got home. And I've never known a dog to develop a sudden interest in Strictly Come Dancing, either! Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 And I've never known a dog to develop a sudden interest in Strictly Come Dancing, either! Yeah, my mom didnt want kids either. Far as I'm concerned she can rot in hell. Have a good life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tripper Posted December 17, 2007 Author Share Posted December 17, 2007 so why did she stay with the guy for 20yrs AFTER she lost the weight? Good question! That's why I asked it. I suppose there are a multitude of reasons from replies I've read and they're not mutually exclusive. Maybe she got sold the dream of Christmas: I'll leave the wife and family after little Johnnie finishes high school.. er.. university...er.. I've paid off the house and paid back his tuition loans... And she loves him enough to believe him since hope springs eternal. Maybe she figured half a loaf is better than none. Tho' a cheater he was "faithful" to her despite being married. Possibly at some point she had invested so much time that she didn't want to let it go and believed he would one day leave his M Maybe she loved him. Any, some, all or any combination of the above. One things for sure, 20 years is a long time to be the OW. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Hmmm... How many willing OW do you see in good situations and healthy self images? I believe all OW are willing, at least at first. Once they fall in love, they might feel trapped like a love slave, lol, but that may not even be at the core of your point. As for self image, are you just talking about weight and size? Or overall physical and mental health? Speaking for myself, I am in great mental shape and ok physical shape. The things I get from MM are wonderful, but I can live without them if I have to. I do this (A) because I want to, not in any way unwilling. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 I believe all OW are willing, at least at first. Once they fall in love, they might feel trapped like a love slave, lol, but that may not even be at the core of your point. As for self image, are you just talking about weight and size? Or overall physical and mental health? Speaking for myself, I am in great mental shape and ok physical shape. The things I get from MM are wonderful, but I can live without them if I have to. I do this (A) because I want to, not in any way unwilling. Your situation sucks. This is your out... and its a crappy one at that! Having a bad M for so long wears on your self esteem. If you didn't need something from you OM you would not be involved with him. Believe me I'm correct in this. Tomcat and others are rationalizing post Affair. I'm sorry but I'm done with this thread. It does take a village to raise a child... I hope the village is very strong... else we will be left with unloved children. On the brightside... we will have happy dogs! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 I believe all OW are willing, at least at first. Once they fall in love, they might feel trapped like a love slave, lol, but that may not even be at the core of your point. Now that is the BEST answer I have read in thise whole thread! Ever try walking away from someone in the midst of being head over heels in love? I don't wish that upon my worst enemy, it is virtually impossible. For the nay sayers, I have neither self esteem nor self image issues, some of us just met a person we fell very hard for in a not ideal manner and the rest snowballed from there. I'm the exception? Chyaa right!! :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 If you didn't need something from you OM you would not be involved with him. Believe me I'm correct in this. Yeah people have all sorts of needs that are being met in these types of relationships and this is why they continue. What's your point? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 I believe all OW are willing, at least at first. Once they fall in love, they might feel trapped like a love slave, lol, but that may not even be at the core of your point. That's only true if the OW knows going in that the man is married... Link to post Share on other sites
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