Is this girl psycho or is it normal?

[D-Lish]

Why do you stick around?

What is it about the relationship that motivates you to be her punching bag?

 

Move as far away as possible- she's a raving lunatic.

I don't quite get why you haven't walked away from her yet.

 

Remember- as much as she is a messy, angry girl... you make the choice over and over again to partake in her lunacy- and reward it.

Yes- you reward her behavior by sticking around.

 

And to think I thought I was acting crazy when I kicked a guy out of my bed for saying something insensitive... This girl is a mess. You need to get away from her. I wouldn't even tell her you are leaving- and give her no forwarding address.

[budd98]

I have no idea why I stick around. There is absolutely nothing in it for me. I bail her out of every tough time, am there for her to yell at, and she hangs up on me every phone conversation cause she will bring up something to make herself mad. There must be something wrong with me to even try and make it work. I must have it in my head that I can save her and make her a better person or something. The crazy thing is, is that when things were alright I didn't want her and wished we would break up. Then when she didn't want me I would chase her. It is so dumb I know. There really isn't one time I am with her that I feel comfortable. I always am waiting for her to get mad at me or say something to hurt me. When I met her, I had SO much self esteem. So many things were going great. In the 3 years of knowing her and being around her, she has taken me down to a low. What is the best way to get rid of this? I mean how can I respect myself enough to not want this anymore?

 

Lately, I have been going out a lot with my friends. Sometimes I get nervous when a girl comes up to me cause I think someone will see me with her and it will get back to her. Thats how its been a couple weeks ago. These past couple weeks however, I am talking to girls, meeting them, hanging out, and being in places where everyone will know what I am doing. I am becoming more fun again and there are so many girls that would love to date me. The problem is that I am not attracted to them like that. I think it would take a very amazing woman to get me going again. Maybe time will change all of this.

 

I haven't made any communication with her since X-mas and I don't plan on doing it anymore either. I hope I can be strong. Tomorrow I am meeting 3 gals to start a pre party at their place and then going out. I know I will get a mean text from her tomorrow when she finds this out. I hope I can ignore it and be strong. I feel a part of me finally letting go. I really appreciate everyones advice, it is helping me a great deal. I just can't wait till the new years deal is over. I can't wait to feel normal again someday.

[D-Lish]

The best and only way to build your self esteem is to leave.

Shame on her for stealing that from you.

 

Yes, it sounds like you like to "save". You have to save yourself on this one.

 

You have to take care of you.

I think moving away will be the best way for you to begin to heal from this.

 

You deserve better.

[crazy_grl]

There must be something wrong with me to even try and make it work.

 

I'm glad you realized this yourself, because for every post you made after the one about christmas, I've been wondering if you were some kind of masochist. This girl is a mess and she's dragging you down with her. I wondered about your sanity in wanting to marry someone who treats you so bad, makes you feel awful, and spends money so irresponsibly. Heck, that last thing alone is a good enough reason not to marry her.

 

I really think you should go see a counselor to help build up your self esteem and figure out why you let this go on for so long. If you don't figure out why you did, you may end up with another girl just like this one.

 

To answer your question about whether she's really hearing things about you going out with other girls, I think she's making it up because she's insecure and wants to control you. I've had a guy do something similar but to a much smaller degree. He'd make comments about me going out all the time and flirting with guys. Like you, I started to feel afraid to just talk to other guys because he might think I was flirting or to go to clubs with my friends because he'd think I was going to meet guys. But nobody is worth giving up your freedom to the point that you're afraid to talk to other people or just go out with your friends.

 

Also, I agree with D-Lish that the best thing you can do for her is to stop putting up with her cr*p. If you feel like you need to explain to her why you're not going to put up with her anymore, the best way would be to tell her that she's being destructive to you and herself, and that you can't have her around until she gets some help. She probably won't like it, but it's the best chance you have of getting through to her.

Edited December 29, 2007 by crazy_grl

[budd98]

Thanks for your replies. I went out last night and was having a great time. I never ran into my ex, but I did run into some people that told me things that brought me back down. Last summer I got a tip that she had cheated on me with some guy that was engaged. Well this guy was engaged to this girls sister that was telling me this last night. She told me it was true and that It all happened. She also told me other things about her that I didn't know. Now I don't have any hard evidence that any of this happened, but it all seems so real. It has taken me so low again to know that you got cheated on.

 

So after I heard this, I started bashing my ex to her and telling her exactly what my ex says about her. My ex really hated this girl and her family. Some of the things my ex said about her was "she works out ALL the time and is still fat" "her brother is a steroid druggie" "She gives blowjobs to everyone" "That you and I apparently hooked up" and some othr things. Well this really made this girl mad and I told her not to worry too much cause she is like that to everyone including me. So now I feel bad for saying all of this stuff, but yet it is all the truth. My ex's best friend was out at the bar and I was really dressed to kill. She looked me up and down but kind of was cold to me just said hi and are you having a good time. I was drunk and said I was having a blast.

 

So now I am left with a dilemma. Should I confront my ex about any of the things I heard and know now? I have heard a lot. I really just want to call her out on it so bad.

[blind_otter]

So now I am left with a dilemma. Should I confront my ex about any of the things I heard and know now? I have heard a lot. I really just want to call her out on it so bad.

 

Hell no you shouldn't call her out on it! That be just like trying to put a fire out with gasoline. You'll only be feeding the drama. Just chalk it up to crazy ex behavior and move on.

[underpants]

So now I am left with a dilemma. Should I confront my ex about any of the things I heard and know now? I have heard a lot. I really just want to call her out on it so bad.

 

I understand your need to try to 'call her out'. The thing is man, you cannot reason with crazy.

 

You don't need alot of proof. Her actions and ugly behaviour are all the proof you need to close yourself off from her.

 

See, her crazy accusations about you were really a deflection of her own behaviour. What a psycho.

 

Ignore all contact from her for a couple of weeks and you will get a show.

 

How are the moving plans going?

[budd98]

It would be nice to just tell her whats up and then ignore her. That way she might feel worse, which is what I hope. But I should be the bigger man and just wish her well and move on. I am going out again tonight with a bunch of people and there is a good chance she may be there. I hope I can keep my cool and ignore her. It is always tough when she tries to make me jealous, but I will just act like I am having a blast and smile a lot. I hear that is the best thing to do. I think.

 

As far as the moving goes, well I want to leave after next weekend. I don't have anything tieing me down, so it will be easy for me to just take off. I am going to drive the 2000 miles and maybe visit old friends along the way, and maybe make some new ones. haha!

 

I am hoping that since I have finally woken up to all this new information that me hating her will help me get over her faster. Its bad to say but I could deffinitly get her a DUI some night if I really wanted to be bad. Any thoughts on that?? It would be pretty mean, but what comes around goes around! Her life is already at an all time low, so I probably shouldn't.

 

There is one thing she does have of mine (a $1000 tv) at her place. Besides the $7000 grand she owes me. Maybe I should just write it all off? God, I wish I wasn't so trusting and stupid in love with her!

[D-Lish]

Revenge and being mean won't solve anything.

Remove yourself from the drama- stop partaking in it- stop trashing your ex to everyone and anyone who will listen.

 

When you told that girl the evil things your ex said about her... it probably felt good for you to get it out- but now this poor girl is walking around knowing someone is calling her fat and slutty. Guaranteed- she didn't need to hear those hurtful things just so you could feel better about getting back at your ex. So now- you are just involving and inviting multiple people into this bad relationship. It's beginning to sound like you love the drama as much as she does.

 

Tell people you don't want to hear about your ex- stop talking about her... certainly stop telling others the mean things your ex might have said- that's hurting others needlessly.

Geez, get away from it all.

[budd98]

Update to my crazy situation:

 

Ex calls me yesterday, I never answered. She leaves a VM saying to never contact her again that she knows everything I'm doing and it is complete Bull@@@. She says I am a azzhole and she can't believe I have dated you. Then she texts 10 mins later saying "can't answer?" I still don't respond and then 3 hours later she calls restricted, but I didn't answer. So I am at the bar with my whole family and friends and guess who shows up, the ex. She was with her g/f and sees me. I went over to her to say hi, but she storms by and says I am an azzhole for ignoring her and that it really looks like I wanted to start a family. She then goes right to a bunch of guys and hangs on them. So I turned and acted like I was having fun and went over to my friends. Then she started sending me mean messages about some of the girls that were around me. She sould walk by me on her way to the restroom and I would say hi, but she would storm by. Then the last time she walks by, she bit me in the cheek as hard as she could and walked away. Everyone seen it and I was bleeding and had teeth marks on my cheek. Then it really got crazy. Instantly many people wanted to beat the hell out of her. I cooled them all down and said to just let it go. I stormed down to the dancefloor and started dancing with some girls. I wanted nothing to do with the ex anymore. My brother walked up to her and told her she needed to leave the bar. It was so nuts. Then she started texting me like crazy. asking if she could talk to me and blah blah blah. She must have sent 100 texts. She started being all nice and begging me to come and snuggle with her. And then this morning texting me like crazy again saying she will change her number today so I won;t have to worry about her contacting me anymore.

 

Is this not one of the craziest things ever to happen? I now have a scar on my cheek from her. Also, she bit me in front of so many people and now she is going to have the worse reputation because those people know everyone. I can't believe I stayed calm with her when it happened. I have never ignored her ever and this one day she went crazy. I seriously think she would try to kill me. I probably should have let all the girls beat her up last night, but I am too nice for that. I still don't wish her any bad even after all of this.

[underpants]

Wow,

 

She is nutters.

 

However, you did go to a place where you knew she would most likely be or show up...and you stayed when she arrived. So I can't feel too bad about your altercation with her.

 

Continue to ignore her. Actually, maybe there is a friend you can stay with that she doesn't know about or maybe a buddy can stay with you for a few days. I think she will get crazier.

 

Avoid her and the drama. If she shows up at your house you should not answer the door.

 

I don't know if she would hurt you or...she might hurt herself and set up the situation to make it look like you hurt her. Thus, being a victim, and making up a story about you that will cast doubt. Stay away from her.

 

I think it is a really good thing that you are moving. Don't share that with anyone that will get that info back to her.

 

As far as your television goes. Was that a gift or is it actually yours? If it is yours and you want it back. Get a couple of people to go and attempt to retrieve it for you without warning. I don't think you should try to do that alone. She would probably rather destroy your tv then to return it to you. The 7 grand...unless there is some kind of evidence (written) that that was indeed a loan then I don't know how you can get that back.

 

In the long run though, 7 grand and a tv is a small price to pay for a relationship with that.

 

Focus on your move and look forward to that.

[Saxis]

After the biting incident, you should be getting a restraining order... What a psycho!

[budd98]

No, I thought she would never be at that bar cause she always says she would never go there. They had a band with a $10 cover to get in and it was packed. Everyone says she only showed up because she heard or thought I would be there. I wanted to leave right when she showed up, but my family made me stay. I was having a blast before she got there and actually was having fun while she was there too. It didn't really bother me too much what she was doing. That is until she bit me. I just hope I won't be left with a permanant scar on my face to keep reminding me of her.

[underpants]

I'm sure you will heal up just fine.

 

Scars can be sexy, not that I think you will have one. Life's tattoos.

 

If you do wind up with a little mark, then consider it a reminder to stay away from her.

 

Keep it clean and use some neosporin. You might want to get screened for stds though. Just sayin'.

[EYECANDY000]

she is definately damaged goods and is seeking attention. and has some emotional issues that has traumatized he life. Girls dont act like this, not normal girls.. You neeed to keep her distance from her and cut off all contact asap

[budd98]

What do I do when she says "I think I just overdosed on hydro codine?" She said she took 7 pills last night. I don't want anything bad to happen to her.

 

Also, she is texting me like crazy about the girls I was talking with last night. She is triing to get every or any detail out. I sent her one message back asking to promise me that you won't take any pills like that again. And she replied with "I can't make any promise." Now she keeps texting me about How the one girl ended up there with me? She has sent that message 4 times in 20 minutes and then finally just sent one saying "You make me so unbelievable mad!" I have'nt replied yet.

 

Isn't it crazy how she goes crazy and bites me in the bar and then the next day tries to turn everything around on me and try to make me look like I was in the wrong? Why does she want everything to look like my fault when I didn't do anything?

[underpants]

What do I do when she says "I think I just overdosed on hydro codine?" She said she took 7 pills last night. I don't want anything bad to happen to her.

 

Also, she is texting me like crazy about the girls I was talking with last night. She is triing to get every or any detail out. I sent her one message back asking to promise me that you won't take any pills like that again. And she replied with "I can't make any promise." Now she keeps texting me about How the one girl ended up there with me? She has sent that message 4 times in 20 minutes and then finally just sent one saying "You make me so unbelievable mad!" I have'nt replied yet.

 

Isn't it crazy how she goes crazy and bites me in the bar and then the next day tries to turn everything around on me and try to make me look like I was in the wrong? Why does she want everything to look like my fault when I didn't do anything?

 

Dude...TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.

 

It is just noise.

 

If you are concerned that she is going to take pills. Then call her parents and tell them that she has threatened suicide and that you cannot be there for her. Or call the police and tell them the same thing.

 

Do not contact her. Do not reply to her texts.

 

Go back and re-read your thread.

[budd98]

Why do I always get thrown into a situation and then feel like crap? Last night I went out for NYE and on the second bar we went to, my ex was there at a table with a few guys and a girl or 2. I didn't know the guys, but one of them seemed to look and know me. Anyways, I was at the opposite end of the bar and tried to stay invisible while my brother was using the restroom. I saw her peek around and seen it was me. Then my brother came out and I said "lets leave." I never waved or anything, just left. Earlier that day she kept texting me "hope you have a gnite with that girl" and stuff like that. I never responded and then she left one that said "I am going to start the new year out right no you. Good luck with your move, I wish you all the best. Goodbye." That text made me feel sad, but my brother made me keep no contact. Shortly after that is when I seen her at the bar.

 

So we go to our last bar and she texts me again right before midnight saying "thought your brother was leaving, liar." I never responded, but then at midnight I couldn't resist. I texted her to have a happy new year. She instantly responds with "couldn't answer any of my texts until now." I was drunk and said something dumb, like "wanna give me a New Years kiss?" Of coarse she tells me I already have and such, but never says anything nice. we text back and fourth a few times and then she stopped.

 

This is where I have my dilemma. I texted her later that night saying "you never wished me a happy new your" "Drive safe the copps are bad" and "are you ok?" I sent those 3 messages between 130 am till 3 and she never responded. I haven't done anything else, but she still hasn't responded. I feel like I lost all of the power. I was doing so good, but then I feel bad on the holiday and be nice. Do you think I lost the power, or was it just a drunk night? I know I need to move on, but it still bothers me that I did that. Just would like an opinion.

[PLAYBRAT]

Budd......I just skimmed this thread.YOU are keeping this drama going .NOt HER. Seriously....you sound like you deserve each other. You BOTH sound screwed up in the head.

[crazy_grl]

Your situation reminds me of what happened with a guy I was dating long distance and his crazy ex. I'm going to try to put this nicely, because I have a soft spot in my heart for him and you remind me of him. Eerily enough he had a situation where she bit a chunk out of his hand instead of his face. Just like you, he claimed he was done with her crazy azz right after that, but then quickly jumped right back into the drama. He never listened to me about her, so I doubt you will, but I'll give it a try. Hopefully you do listen, because it took her trying to run him over with her car before he finally wised up.

 

You're bringing this drama on yourself. You're getting something out of it or you wouldn't keep feeding into it. You can't help her, because she doesn't want help. She wants attention and to know she has control over you. Like someone else already said, tell her parents or the police about the suicide claims if she keeps them up. If she's serious about them, she needs real help, which you can't give her anyway.

 

Ignore her. Erase her phone number, block her emails, change your phone number, and do anything else you need to do so that she can't contact you and you can't contact her. And if you see her in person and she does something crazy like biting you again, call the police.

 

And sorry to be this blunt, but you've gotta grow some balls here and stop letting her yank you around.

[D-Lish]

You are partaking in the drama as much as she is.

This relationship is so unhealthy!

[budd98]

I'm not sure what I am getting out of any of it, but its not fun at all. It must just be the challenge. Last night I tried to get my mind off of her by kissing probably 20 girls at midnight. That was bad, I know. Today I was feeling pretty down because my brother flew back and I am hung over bad. She did end up texting me today, but of coarse it is never anything nice. She said "why her" "why can't you just answer me" and then a longer one where she was bashing this girl saying bad things about her that she apparently made up in H.S and that she heard she had a STD and that she can't believe I would be with someone like that. What I don't understand is why would she keep talking about this girl when I told her many times in the past couple years of her asking that she isn't my type or I am not dating or anything with her ever? Why does she always assume these things? Just got a restricted call now, 95% sure it is her. I am staying strong and keeping No Contact. I just wish she wouldn't make things up about what I am doing.

[underpants]

You are partaking in the drama as much as she is.

This relationship is so unhealthy!

 

I completely agree.

 

When you are tired of it you will end it/be done with it.

 

You did express a concern for "power". Not to sound super cliche, but have you considered the "power" of letting go?

 

You decide.

[Lee725]

OMG. What the hell are you doing??? Get out now, run, go.

What has this girl got over you? you are allowing some pretty serious behaviour be directed at you and unless she has something major over you or you are having some pretty serious delusions why the heavens are you still there?

 

She bit you - not to mention all the crap that went on before that.

Where i come from they shoot dogs that bite people.

(well actually they put them "to sleep" at the vet), but that is not the point!!!

 

AAARRRGGhhhh just reading your posts gave me some kind of cold shiver.

GET OUT!!!!!!!! Change your number, move off with your brother, buy wig & a new pair of Sunnies!

 

My gosh. i know i am not being very helpful here, but i am really struggling to understand why a mature adult (forgive me have not seen age yet) would put up with this kind of crap.

As said in previous posts, call the cops if she is threatening to OD, not sure about where you are but here in Aus, they can scedule her under the mental health act and get her into a hospital where she can get the help she so desperately needs, they can do that without her approval. It is a way of helping suicidal people get much needed assistance.

 

You are not helping her, in fact by feeding her hysteria you are making her worse.

if you care about her (which i struggle to understand also) LET HER GO....

 

The title of your thread is: Psycho or Normal

 

MY VOTE : PSYCHO

[D-Lish]

Psycho with a capital P.

 

You have to stop partaking in it- and just get yourself away from this person. Give yourself time to heal from the trauma.

 

She bit your face.

she bit your face.

she bit your face.

 

That is one crazy person.