Is this girl psycho or is it normal?

[budd98]

I am still staying strong with the no contact. I got a couple more restricted calls last night and then a couple more texts. These kinds of texts that she is sending are the ones that really get me, but I stayed strong. The first was saying "Just thought you would like to know that our dog is really sick." She knows I love that dog SO much and is using it to get to me. Anytime I have ever cut contact she says something is wrong with the dog. The second one was "I just wanted to tell you I am sorry for all the bad things I have done, take care."

 

Is there some kind of phase people go through? I mean first accusing me of being with some girl, then making stuff up about things I care about, and then apologize. I hate being the nice guy all the time to her cause she just walks over me, but I also hate making anyone feel bad. I know it is the best for her and I and I will try to stay strong.

[underpants]

Is there some kind of phase people go through? I mean first accusing me of being with some girl, then making stuff up about things I care about, and then apologize. I hate being the nice guy all the time to her cause she just walks over me, but I also hate making anyone feel bad. I know it is the best for her and I and I will try to stay strong.

 

She is simply not mature enough or sane enough to handle having any semblence of a normal relationship.

 

She is going to pull out any emotional guns to use on you because it always works. She will exhaust what has always worked and probably do some new (my guess is destructive) ways to get your attention.

 

Good for you in sticking to the no contact. No contact whatsoever. You don't need to read the texts. I would just STOP.

 

Stay strong and be gone.

 

Are you still moving? When?

[Lee725]

"Just thought you would like to know that our dog is really sick." She knows I love that dog SO much and is using it to get to me. Anytime I have ever cut contact she says something is wrong with the dog.

 

This is her last draw card & you know it because as you say she has done it before.

Ignore it - if the dog is truly sick, get her to take it to the Vet and see it there.

She is only saying this to try to get you to go around to her house to see her.

 

very proud of you for staying strong and not taking the calls or replying to the txt's. You deserve a big squishy hug {{HUGS}}

 

This girl is not going to wake up tomorrow and be a different person.

She is not going to snap and become "normal", as much as you seem to want this to happen it is NOT going to happen.

 

She needs to get help on her own, she is NOT normal, she is not sane and as long as you keep participating in this little game she is running she is going to bring you down with her.

 

I can not imagine the mental and physical strain this girl has been putting on you.

 

I can not imagine how your this is affecting your friends and family to watch you go through this kind of crap.

 

She is going to affect your perception of relationships long term.

She already has, unfortunately because if she had not you would not be questioning yourself and feeling sorry for her... you would be getting out of there.

 

You have given her a mulitude of unjustified chances.

Now give yourself the biggest one of all, getting out and the chance to find peace, love & happiness with someone who is not going to hurt you the way she has.

 

"Is there some kind of phase people go through? I mean first accusing me of being with some girl, then making stuff up about things I care about, and then apologize. I hate being the nice guy all the time to her cause she just walks over me, but I also hate making anyone feel bad. I know it is the best for her and I and I will try to stay strong.

 

This is not a phase Budd, this is a personality trait which can only (maybe) be altered by a professional.

 

Some people are born this way, some people have things happen to them in their lives which alter their perception of the world and change the way they interact with others, some people have alcohol, chemical or drug dependancies which can cause personality changes.

 

Remind yourself of this Budd, if she has enough instability to go up to you in a crowded room and bite you on the cheek in front of people both she and you know, what will be her next move?

 

You could be in serious danger. if i were you i would be afraid of her.

You seem like a very sweet, caring, loyal person who is WWAAYYY to forgiving.

You have offered her as much help and forgiveness as you can.

 

You have nothing to feel bad about. You can walk away from this and i am pretty sure that NO-ONE will label you a bad guy.

 

Even the nice guys of this world, the best of the best if you will, have a breaking point and limits Budd.

Everyone's is different, but i do not know one single person amoungst all the great wonderful people i know that would have put up with this as long as you have.

 

Stay strong honey, We are here when you need us, please keep us informed as to how you are doing.

[budd98]

Thank you guys so much for replying, it is helping me a great deal.

 

Ever since her last text of "Just want 2 say im sorry 4 all the bad things i've ever done, take care." last night, I have'nt heard from her. I have not responded either. It still bothers me though. I just wonder about what she is thinking? Or what you think she might do next, if anything? Do you think she is really down since she had made so many attmepts to contact me yesterday and I never replied? Do you think it will be harder 4 her to move on if I keep no contact?

 

I know nothing should matter, but I would just like to know what you think about those questions. Thanks.

 

Also, Lee725, she has put ALOT of strain on me AND my friends and family. Everyone can tell BIG time. Its crazy cause just in the last couple weeks I have made SO many new friends. I am still planning on moving maybe next week. I really wished I never bought her that dog last year because I love that thing so dang much. The relationship has really affected me with girls because I seem to not care about them as a person. I lose intrest way too fast. Time should help that though.

[underpants]

It still bothers me though. I just wonder about what she is thinking? Or what you think she might do next, if anything?

 

Well,

 

Having a relationship with an unstable person can make you crazy for a while too. I have heard a good analogy of this is having a case of fleas. Little snipets of their disorders that you carry and process for a while until you fully detach from the one inflicting the ...abuse.

 

I am sure you realize that relating to an unstable person requires a different skill set (fleas). It is not too fun, especially once they really show just how damaged they are. It is sad. However, all you can do is recognize it and get away. She is the only person that can help herself. She will most likely hurt alot more people before she even considers that her problems rest within her.

 

I can totally relate to the 'what will they do next?' thinking. It is a paranoia, and kind of a justified one.

 

You are still trying to figure her out and care about her. You really need to shift that thinking (somehow) to focus on you, your healing and the goal of letting go and moving on.

 

I made a list of some things that were done to me and said to me, and that he did to others' while I knew my ex. Every time he contacted me I read that list and usually this was enough to refrain from responding. I only responded to my ex when he showed up at my house when I was not home and did ...things.

 

I think the opportunity to move away for a while is really a gift for you.

 

Once you have some real time away and distance from this ex, you will be able to see other girls without the lunacy filter that you have been holding up in dealing with her.

 

It takes time and distance.

[D-Lish]

I am not sure why you are postboning your trip.

Why not make a positive choice and pick and and leave as soon as possible?

 

Listen, I know you love this girl, but you also know she is a really crazy messed up girl that will make you miserable for as long as you choose to remain entangled with her.

 

Everyone around you recognizes this fact- YOU recognize this fact.

 

I think we are all running out of things to say.

It's up to you and only you to remove yourself from this destructive situation and start making a concerted effort to move forward.

[budd98]

I know I need to get away, I actually can't leave until after a certain date. Then I can pack up and take off. I do still care and it is hard keeping no contact. I always just wonder about things. Last night I recieved another restricted call at around 1:30 AM and good chance it was her. A part of me almost answered that phone, but I held back. Why does she keep calling restricted? I have never been able to be this strong with the no contact. Do you think she is hurting?

[underpants]

I know I need to get away, I actually can't leave until after a certain date. Then I can pack up and take off. I do still care and it is hard keeping no contact. I always just wonder about things. Last night I recieved another restricted call at around 1:30 AM and good chance it was her. A part of me almost answered that phone, but I held back. Why does she keep calling restricted? I have never been able to be this strong with the no contact. Do you think she is hurting?

 

She is using a restricted number because she knows you won't answer her known number. It is a deceptive way to get you to respond.

 

Sure she is hurting but not because she cares about you or loves you. She has lost some control and her manipulative tactics (that have always worked in the past) are no longer having the known effect they once did.

 

I am glad you are still planning on moving and I hope you keep posting once you do.

 

Until then just keep strong and silent. Make a list of your own if you need to. Re read this thread and others to help you see that people can get out of a dysfunctional partnership and go on to much better relationships.

 

You are doing so good. Don't backtrack.

 

Be strong and be gone.

[johnmmm]

No not all girls are like that, in my experience they do have a tendency of running hot and cold in situations like breaking up. But this is extreme.

 

DO NOT TRY AND SAVE HERE. She will only take all her problems out on you and turn you in to her emotional punch bag.

 

She sounds to me like a rely confused insecure person. She sounds like she has a lot of issues but they are her issues not yours. Like I said before if you try and save her you will become the person she will take all her frustration out on.

 

If I where you I would not contact her for one month. It will be hard but just do what ever you have to get there. If she contacts you do not respond. After a month she will know what it is like not having you there to take all her problems out on and more impotently she will feel like she has lost control of you. After a month you will be surprised how intently she will want to here what ever you have to say. Tell her you are not her punch bag and she needs to sort her self out or you won’t be there permanently.

[budd98]

I have an URGENT situation that I don't know what to do about. At 12:45pm I got another restricted call, then a 1:00pm she used her number and left me a voice mail. This is what it said:

 

She basically said that it is obvious I am avoiding her and that she doesn't want to fight, but just wanted to talk to me about some things. She said that she doesn't know why I am saying that she is the one chasing me or won't leave me alone when she has people that she works with to vouge for her that I have stopped by her work, home, and such to see her and I am the one that won't leave her alone. She was asking why I am saying I have to move away from her when I was the one chasing her. She also said that she would like to talk to me about this and I have until 8pm tonight to get ahold of her cause her new cell number will take affect then and I won't be able to contact her anymore.

 

Why would she do this? That night she bit me I did say I was moving in 5 days so nothing mattered and I think today would have been 5 days. I was doing so good and now I am left with this. What do you think is going through her head? Should I call her back? Do you think this is it if I don't call her back? Please help.

[blind_otter]

Don't respond. It's just another way to bait you. You don't want to get bitten on the OTHER cheek, do you?

[underpants]

I have an URGENT situation that I don't know what to do about. At 12:45pm I got another restricted call, then a 1:00pm she used her number and left me a voice mail. This is what it said:

 

She basically said that it is obvious I am avoiding her and that she doesn't want to fight, but just wanted to talk to me about some things. She said that she doesn't know why I am saying that she is the one chasing me or won't leave me alone when she has people that she works with to vouge for her that I have stopped by her work, home, and such to see her and I am the one that won't leave her alone. She was asking why I am saying I have to move away from her when I was the one chasing her. She also said that she would like to talk to me about this and I have until 8pm tonight to get ahold of her cause her new cell number will take affect then and I won't be able to contact her anymore.

 

Why would she do this? That night she bit me I did say I was moving in 5 days so nothing mattered and I think today would have been 5 days. I was doing so good and now I am left with this. What do you think is going through her head? Should I call her back? Do you think this is it if I don't call her back? Please help.

 

Budd,

 

Just stop. Stop trying to figure her out.

 

I cannot tell you how many times I uttered "is this it", "maybe that is the last time", "maybe he finally gets the message". Heck, I even entertained the notion of hiring a midget to stand outside of my door and offer a scrolled decree. Crazy days.

 

She issued an ultimatium in order to get you to cave. Who cares what, why or if. It is just done.

 

You are still doing good.

 

No, do not call her back. I am sure there will be more drama. Time to start being quietly entertained by it. However, do not play into it at all. You will just feel really bad if you do. Worse then if you ignored it. Trust me.

 

Be strong, you are still doing good. She does not know that it is bothering you and in that small way...yes it is obviously getting to her.

 

Just focus on your move and your new future and better days.

[underpants]

One more thing.

 

The whole my phone number will not work after 8pm is just a bait to see if you try to call after 8.

 

Don't call ...from your phone, from a restricted number, from a friend's phone or from a pay phone...or any other phone I have not thought of.

 

If you do you are acting just a nutso as she is, and she will know it is you.

 

Silence is golden.

 

Indifference is diamond.

[budd98]

I have'nt spread any rumors about her chasing me either. I actually told her friends a while back that I love that girl to death and I probably just need to let her go cause she didn't want to be with me. I was always very sincere.

 

That night she bit me and my sister went to yell at her, the ex was telling her that I won't leave her alone and all that. My sis then said that was a lie cause she had seen some of her messages and such. So I think that is what is bothering her. I just don't get why it even matters though. Who cares who is chasing who. Her voicemail also said that I was the first person in the bar to run up and talk to her. That was the night she bit me. Everytime I have went up to her was to say hi cuase I figure that is the nice thing to do or give her money or anything nice for her in the past.

 

I know I am analyzing things way to much, but why does she keep doing things like this to me? I will not call her back as you guys say not to, but it does hurt. She sounded somewhat sad in her voice, but a little defensive. Do you think it even matters to her if those things were ever said or not about who was chasing who? Or if it is just an excuse she is making up? I just hate when she always tries to give those so called "ultimatums." Do you think she will contact me after 8 if I don't?

[blind_otter]

She'll probably KEEP trying to contact you randomly, until she becomes obsessed with someone else.

 

I had a BF who was psycho. He broke down my front door and threw me into a wall and tried to kill a friend of mine. There's a huge backstory to this, but I won't get into it. Suffice it to say, he went to prison. Even from prison he would call my house. A long time after the incident. I had to change my phone number 3 times and get an unlisted number to get the phone calls to stop. I even spoke to the state attorney's office about the issue and had his phone privileges revoked for a time. Even now I fear the day when he will be released from prison, as he has promised me that he will hide and wait until no one is around to get me back. whatever that means.

 

Crazy people are just that. Crazy. There's no sense reasoning with crazy, dude.

[budd98]

man this sux, I feel like I'm watching my clock till 8pm. 3.5 hours to go. I just hope i am doing the right thing by not responding. Should we take a vote and see if she actually changes her number or not? I mean why would she say her new number takes affect at 8pm on a cell phone. From what I have been told, that is an instant change when you go in. She is doing everything she can to hurt me in some way......I guess if I knew she was hurting I might feel a little better. I could have had her arrested at the bar and pressed charges and got a restraining order, but I am too nice to do that. I just wished she would ever be nice to me once.

[underpants]

Why are you waiting until 8?

 

Her little game has nothing to do with you. Don't you try that number after 8. It is a trap.

 

Personally, I think if you don't attempt to call she will just say that you did anyway. Her 'reality' is whatever spin she puts on it. Truth or not.

 

I read over the first page of this thread again and have compiled a small list for you.

 

Bad Traits of your ex.

 

She lies

Verbally abusive

Physically abusive (...phone throwing and biting)

She cycles and lashes out (either verbally or physically)

She cheated on you (yes, she did)

Issues ultimatiums instead of employing mature conflict tactics

Spreads untruths about you

Takes advantage of your kindness (don't let her any longer)

Threatens suicide to control your behaviour

Uneducated

Unemployed

Negative Thinker

Turns things against you

 

...etc...etc...I am sure there are other things.

 

....now, seriously, who wants to sign up for a relationship with that?

 

Also I noticed that you stated that she had restraining orders on 2 ex's. Watch out, or you might find yourself served with one. Leave her alone.

 

Consider the break up a bullet dodged my friend.

 

So are you going to move in a week?

[budd98]

Ya, I am moving for sure. I own my own business and have been very successful, but now I have jobs lined up that are complete fun. I will do promotions for a company and also my brother showed my pics to a girl that owns 5 major clubs and she wants me to be a bouncer at one. Otherwise, one of my ex's wants to get me on a reality tv show. That girl is beautiful, which makes me wonder how crazy I am for liking this person. I actually just thought this person was down to earth average joe that would make me happy. My ex on the other hand is on deal or no deal, stuff magazine, sports illustrated, been in movies, and going places. I have dated many really great gals, I just wish I was normal again. So I shouldn't sweat anything right?

[underpants]

Ya, I am moving for sure. I own my own business and have been very successful, but now I have jobs lined up that are complete fun. I will do promotions for a company and also my brother showed my pics to a girl that owns 5 major clubs and she wants me to be a bouncer at one. Otherwise, one of my ex's wants to get me on a reality tv show. That girl is beautiful, which makes me wonder how crazy I am for liking this person. I actually just thought this person was down to earth average joe that would make me happy. My ex on the other hand is on deal or no deal, stuff magazine, sports illustrated, been in movies, and going places. I have dated many really great gals, I just wish I was normal again. So I shouldn't sweat anything right?

 

Alot of that sounds real positive. (not too sure about the reality tv)

 

You will be normal again and you are taking the best course of action for you.

 

Stay positive and don't let this ex and her instability detract your focus.

 

Only an hour to go. You can do it.

 

Once you get away I would just take some time for you and your healing. There are alot of really hot kind women out there and you find one. This experience may prove to give you some better eyes to filter some of the club scene drama queens out though.

 

Onward and upward in 2008.

[Lee725]

She basically said that it is obvious I am avoiding her and that she doesn't want to fight, but just wanted to talk to me about some things. She said that she doesn't know why I am saying that she is the one chasing me or won't leave me alone when she has people that she works with to vouge for her that I have stopped by her work, home, and such to see her and I am the one that won't leave her alone. She was asking why I am saying I have to move away from her when I was the one chasing her. She also said that she would like to talk to me about this and I have until 8pm tonight to get ahold of her cause her new cell number will take affect then and I won't be able to contact her anymore.

 

Hi Budd, {{big hug before i start rambling!}} LOL,

 

This recent post scared me a little.

If you have not been chasing her (physically looking for her - no the phone stuff), which you dont seem to have been, why is she saying and quoting other people having said that you are?

Is she delusional and seeing you in places that you actually have not?

 

Underpants has done a great job of listing the things here that you need to reflect on when considering what she might be feeling.

 

You will end up with a restraining order against you because she is already setting the foundation for the order.

 

She is convincing her friends that you have been chasing her around everywhere, she may even have some that are crazy enough to stand up and say that you actually were there (heck, to be friends with this girl you would have to be crazy too )

 

I can pretty much guarentee that she has kept all the txt messages that you have sent her and she has probably recorded some of your calls.

 

You have an amazing future ahead of you with your business & working in the clubs industry you will be surrounded by people, many of them beautiful women.

I know your perception of women is a little different at the moment because of her, but that will change, you will meet someone who is Fabulos and who will make you feel attracted to them.

 

I can only hope someday Budd, to meet a man who is a caring as you are, right or wrong you seem to have extended way beyond the normal to help this girl anyway you can, there would be a lot of girls out there, me included who would give everything to meet someone as devoted and caring as you are.

 

You deserve so much better than this.

Stay strong, dont contact her no matter how bad the threats get.

 

I am here in Aus and it is 11:34am on Friday morning, i am really curious to know if it has passed 8pm where you are & how you are doing.

 

Oh one last thing about the bet on her changing her number, she wont contact you tonight (i dont think), she will want you to think that she has actaully done it! give her a day or 2 to stew on it and i bet she will be back in contact!

[underpants]

Budd,

 

You made it. It's 8 and you did not self destruct.

 

I agree with alot of what Lee said.

 

She is setting the stage to make you look like the bad guy. It seems to be her pattern.

 

I also think she probably won't attempt contact this evening (but who knows for sure). She is probably wondering if you are already gone and will spend the next couple of days finding out.

 

Then expect her to attempt to kick up some drama on fri/sat night when she has had a few drinks and decides to be mad at you again.

 

When you do move (next week?). Don't even say goodbye. Just go.

[PLAYBRAT]

What scares ME about this thread is that Budd is even considering if he should call her. YIKES.

 

Budd I am not going to get into self esteem issues. I don't know why you

think you deserve this sort of treatment..but it boils down to how much you value yourself. Would you accept this treatment from some schmuck

on the street? If not, then why would you take it from someone who you have been even MORE intimate with?? To me it's worse if soeone I care about could be capable of hurting me so much. That is not love..that is

Co Dependency.

 

Anyway..I hope you stuck to your guns...

Best of luck

[budd98]

Well it is 9:25 pm now and I did not contact at all.

 

To answer Lee725, she says I am the one chasing her because thats the way she sees it. We would either talk on the phone or text in the past few months and she would say something bad like she can't afford groceries or things like that, so I would show up and give her money. Also, I tried various ways to surprise her with something to maybe spark the relationship again. It was maybe once a week, but that all ended 3 weeks ago. I was pretty much used. She even said I showed up at her place on X-mas, well that was cause she was by herself and hated life so I didn't want her to be alone. Everything was for good intentions thats what sucks. The crazy part of it all was that she broke up with me cause I hung out with my friends for 2 hours over Halloween and broke up with me on my birthday.

 

I know I need to remain strong and get my head straight again. Hopefully it will get better soon. Today was a hard day for me just because she gave me that dang time phrame to call her within. Part of me did want to, but then the other part knew if I did I would just get chewed out cause I would be way too nice. I am really curious if she actually changed her number though. If she did change her number, how will she be able to contact me again without giving it away to me?

 

What is weird in this relationship that her family and friends had told me several times throughout the relationship to either break up with her or ignore her for 3 days and she will want you REALLY bad. Her uncle said she is just like her mom and will go crazy. One of her best guy friends said I could win her back if I did those things and I asked if it was worth it and he said for 2 years maybe, but then heck no. This was this summer. Just some added info.

 

Thanks again for everyones help, I don't know why it isn't easier to get over her, but soon I hope. I hope I can sleep tonight........

[underpants]

Well it is 9:25 pm now and I did not contact at all.

 

To answer Lee725, she says I am the one chasing her because thats the way she sees it. We would either talk on the phone or text in the past few months and she would say something bad like she can't afford groceries or things like that, so I would show up and give her money. Also, I tried various ways to surprise her with something to maybe spark the relationship again. It was maybe once a week, but that all ended 3 weeks ago. I was pretty much used. She even said I showed up at her place on X-mas, well that was cause she was by herself and hated life so I didn't want her to be alone. Everything was for good intentions thats what sucks. The crazy part of it all was that she broke up with me cause I hung out with my friends for 2 hours over Halloween and broke up with me on my birthday.

 

I know I need to remain strong and get my head straight again. Hopefully it will get better soon. Today was a hard day for me just because she gave me that dang time phrame to call her within. Part of me did want to, but then the other part knew if I did I would just get chewed out cause I would be way too nice. I am really curious if she actually changed her number though. If she did change her number, how will she be able to contact me again without giving it away to me?

 

What is weird in this relationship that her family and friends had told me several times throughout the relationship to either break up with her or ignore her for 3 days and she will want you REALLY bad. Her uncle said she is just like her mom and will go crazy. One of her best guy friends said I could win her back if I did those things and I asked if it was worth it and he said for 2 years maybe, but then heck no. This was this summer. Just some added info.

 

Thanks again for everyones help, I don't know why it isn't easier to get over her, but soon I hope. I hope I can sleep tonight........

 

Hey,

 

Good for you. Stick to those no contact guns.

 

She broke up with you on your birthday. That is low.

(another item for the list)

 

Honestly I don't think she changed her number. Or maybe now she will. She will probably call you from another number. If I were you I would rely on voice mail from unknown numbers until you are safely moved. Then I would consider changing numbers.

 

Do you really want somebody that you have to dump or ignore for 3 days to get them to want you (until the next fight). It is so dysfunctional and unhealthy. This is not love at all.

 

Everyone seems to know this about her. Even her own family. Is her mother married or in what you would consider a healthy relationship?

 

Again, these are her issues and it would be sad to see you get stuck with that. It won't get better, only worse.

 

You will have hard days and good days and eventually in a couple of months the good days will outnumber the bad and one day you will be like "what the heck was I thinking"

 

The key to this is to avoid her like the plague and get the hell out of Dodge.

[budd98]

Her mom is whacked as well. She got divorced 5 years ago from her alcoholic dad that does drugs and sleeps with hookers and cheated on her mom. Her one brother tried to commit suicide last month by cutting his wrists and id ADD and does drugs. Her dads brothers are all alcoholics and her moms 7 sisters are all divorced. Her dads 3 brothers have all been divorced also. Her dad I think is going to the pen for fraud or something. He even steals from his kids. I don't think any of her family has gone to college. Her mom keeps jumping from different guys she meets on the internet and constantly complains about life and guys. They are all SO negative it drives me nuts. Also, her mom hangs on my ex for excitment like going out to do anything and everything. I think they talk on the phone every hour. That drives me nuts also. Her mom is SO annoying and whines all the time. She even chewed out my ex for getting a job that she wanted to apply for!

 

So now is where my family has problems. My family all owns their own businesses, went to college, never divorced, volunteers for things, eats meals together, goes to church, supports each other when needed, and things like that. I know it is a bad mix for a family. Couples should compliment eachother, but she deffinitly held me back. She wouldn't even let me unbutton my top button on my shirt cause my chest might show. geez!

 

As you all are thinking.....Thank god I am out of there! But it is still hard. I was raised to keep triing and never give up, to go after the things you wanted and never settle. Do you think I was settling for her? In 2.5 years together I was only happy for maybe 2 months. Otherwise I always was at her beckon call.

 

I met a girl on New Years that seemed nice. She went to college and is a nurse and all that. She text small talk a couple days ago to go out and I replied a couple times and that was it. Now she has called 6 times and text like 50 with no response from me. I have only known her for like an hour. I deffinitley don't need another psycho on my hands. I don't know why I attract these kinds of people. They all seem to be insecure or something.

 

Anyways, I feel a little better now after venting a bit. I wish I knew what was going through my ex's head. I just wish I knew that she is feeling the way I have felt for SO long. Do you think she is all down and depressed by my no contact?