Came face to face with my MM and his wife

[Lizzie60]

I suppose she has other 'qualities' for sure.. LOL I'm sure they get along on most other aspects of their M..

 

He wanted to leave her at this same time last year, he said he wanted to move in with me.. he was depressed, blablabla... he is very sensitive and I remember him crying a lot... I know he would be very 'miserable' without his kids at every meals.. and he wouldn't be happy with me... on a full time basis.

 

I am pretty sure that if I would change my mind about him... then chances are I would probably end up with him... but I don't want him or anyone else...

[Lizzie60]

Only imitation love is, not true love. And so many are willing to settle for the fake. Or maybe they don't know that there is a difference. HMMMM?

 

 

We can have many definitions of 'true love' .. see I am not a religious person.. I was a 'saint' when I was younger.. but then I saw all the damages the RC church has done.. it's not for me anymore..

 

True love for you could be everything else without sex... I can say that 'true love' is everything 'including' sex.

 

How can you say that you know for certain what 'true love' is... you know what it is for you.. but you can't speak for everybody else.

[EnigmaXOXO]

It totally changed for me.. so I guess it is the same for everyone who find themselves with a new sex partner.

 

Exactly.

 

Let’s face it. Sex is Sex is Sex. Doesn’t matter who your with or how many new ways you try it. The BIG “O” is not the be all and end all of life, love and relationships that a lot of folks try to make it out to be. The kink is in the newness ... or the idea that you’re getting away with doing something naughty or that you shouldn’t. And once that fades away, if sex isn’t something that connects you to your partner on a deeper and more EMOTIONAL level ... it will eventually leave you feeling hollow and empty.

 

Which is why I think it is very foolish for people (women in particular) to start believing there is something more “special” about them that makes them more desirable than the other gal that guy is porking. Aside from your newness or willingness to accommodate his occasional boredom, you might find you have even less to offer a man than the woman he already has at home. Especially when the newness wears off and he eventually grows tired and bored with you, too.

 

There’s only two ways to avoid having your lover eventually become disenchanted with you:

 

You either remain indefinitely just out of reach and somewhat disconnected emotionally so that you will forever be the one that he wants but can never entirely have (Lust) ... OR, you and your lover connect on a deeper, spiritual and more emotional level that transcends the superficial and grows into something more substantial and fulfilling (Love).

 

Just depends on what you’re looking for, how to go about getting it, and whether or not you truly know the difference.

[sb129]

We can have many definitions of 'true love' .. see I am not a religious person.. I was a 'saint' when I was younger.. but then I saw all the damages the RC church has done.. it's not for me anymore..

 

True love for you could be everything else without sex... I can say that 'true love' is everything 'including' sex.

 

How can you say that you know for certain what 'true love' is... you know what it is for you.. but you can't speak for everybody else.

 

Well, I definitely agree with this.

 

I guess you just can't judge a situation unless you are in it.

 

I would expect my fiance to communicate with me the minute he becomes dissatisfied with our sex life. If he didn't, and sought it elsewhere (which is highly unlikely, given his zero tolerance stance on cheating) I would consider the terms of our R to be breached, as would he if the situation were reversed.

 

That is just us though, and I often (naturally) apply that to other situations, which sometimes not always appropriate.

[Lizzie60]

Aside from your newness or willingness to accommodate his occasional boredom, you might find you have even less to offer a man than the woman he already has at home. Especially when the newness wears off and he eventually grows tired and bored with you, too.

 

 

I know I have nothing to offer him... and he knows that too. I never promised him anything.

 

I just don't want anyone in my life... why is that so hard to believe.. I love my freedom and I am not willing to make any compromises anymore.. been there, done that... now it's 'me time' ALL the time.

 

The newness takes a very long time to wear off... so far, I have always been the one who got tired first...

 

When you get to see someone secretly only once a week, there is something exciting about it.. it takes longer to get 'bored'... especially when they know it's the only time they have great sex, and they don't have to argue about the kids, the bills, the chores.. etc... we get to see each other under our best 'behaviours' and best 'everything'... anyway.. it never happened yet that the 'newness' had faded.

[Trialbyfire]

This thread seems to have moved away from the meow mix, validation purpose, of the original post. "We have a secret and she's uglier than I am". Pretty childish, IMO.

[ICallsEmAsISeesEm]

Lizzie, with all due respect, I've seen countless posts where you've written, "I don't want him so I don't pose a threat to his marriage."

 

You seem to be under the impression that all these cheating liars you're having sex with would throw their wives away in a heartbeat to be with you full time. Surely you're old enough to know that half the smarmy platitudes they feed you about being the sexiest, most wonderful woman alive is usually said when they've got a hardon or they're sniffing around for a little action, don't you?

 

These guys may be bored and their wives may be horse faces, and they may not be deliriously happy with their wives 24/7, but it's pretty safe to assume that they wouldn't leave their wives for you even if you begged them. Hell, there are plenty of women here and on other infidelity sites who claim their MM love them with all their hearts and they're 'soulmates' and all that, and these guys STILL don't leave for their supposed soulmates. Yet, you constantly initimate that these guys would follow you to the end of the world if you merely crooked your finger at them. And all because they like getting their freak on with you.

 

That's quite a preposturous delusion to be under, thinking all these guys would leave. They wouldn't. No matter what lies pour out of their mouths as they're undressing for another wild ride, they're only too happy to go back to their real lives once they zip up and leave your place.

[Lizzie60]

Lizzie, with all due respect, I've seen countless posts where you've written, "I don't want him so I don't pose a threat to his marriage."

 

You seem to be under the impression that all these cheating liars you're having sex with would throw their wives away in a heartbeat to be with you full time. Surely you're old enough to know that half the smarmy platitudes they feed you about being the sexiest, most wonderful woman alive is usually said when they've got a hardon or they're sniffing around for a little action, don't you?

 

These guys may be bored and their wives may be horse faces, and they may not be deliriously happy with their wives 24/7, but it's pretty safe to assume that they wouldn't leave their wives for you even if you begged them. Hell, there are plenty of women here and on other infidelity sites who claim their MM love them with all their hearts and they're 'soulmates' and all that, and these guys STILL don't leave for their supposed soulmates. Yet, you constantly initimate that these guys would follow you to the end of the world if you merely crooked your finger at them. And all because they like getting their freak on with you.

 

That's quite a preposturous delusion to be under, thinking all these guys would leave. They wouldn't. No matter what lies pour out of their mouths as they're undressing for another wild ride, they're only too happy to go back to their real lives once they zip up and leave your place.

 

Maybe you should re-read my posts.. I have always said that he is the ONLY MM that would leave his wife to live with me...

 

I know the other MMs would not leave their W... but him.. yes.. I am sure he would... and it wouldn't take too long either.

[EnigmaXOXO]

The newness takes a very long time to wear off... so far, I have always been the one who got tired first...

 

When you get to see someone secretly only once a week, there is something exciting about it.. it takes longer to get 'bored'... especially when they know it's the only time they have great sex, and they don't have to argue about the kids, the bills, the chores.. etc... we get to see each other under our best 'behaviours' and best 'everything'... anyway.. it never happened yet that the 'newness' had faded.

 

Exactly. Again!

 

Which is why affair situations can go on for so long ... well, at least until the fantasy bubble is popped by a heaping dose of reality when two lovers get busted; feelings get involved and someone decides they want something more permanent and substantial from the relationship; OR they do finally test their relationship in ‘real time’ and discover they don’t even like being around each other on a full-time basis. That’s why affair relationships seldom have the moxy or substance to hold up under normal, everyday circumstances. Affairs are fueled by “lust” and the excitement of getting away with something elicit or naughty. And ‘lust” is the drug of choice for a lot of adrenaline lovers and sex addicts. Which is why it can become such a habit for some. (a.k.a. serial cheaters)

[Lizzie60]

yes.. well said.

 

It is very different, in my case anyway, to be with someone a few hours a week... and to live with him 24/7 ... there is not much room for arguments and 'fights'... LOL it's only good stuff. I'm sure I wouldn't get along, on a long-term basis with any of them... or maybe it's just me, that do not want to compromise or 'sacrifice' my 'ways'.

[greeneyedred]

Lizzie

I am sure not hear to beat up on you...i have been with MM before...but in a very different way. We met when he was separated..and he got back w/her cause of kids and his life elsewhere. He would never leave her cause kids/grandkids...etc...BUT i can say i never felt critical of his wife, or anything but compassion for her really. AND she cheated on him..

 

BUT yet..I always felt and still do, that each time i spoke to him..he emailed and told me how he felt about it..i felt horrible about it. I felt horrible for her. At first i felt bad for him..same reason so many married men cheat..

 

How many times have we all heard this..

 

1. she does not meet my needs...or is frigid

2. we are friends but only lovers once a month..

3. we are like roomates..we never have sex except twice a ayear...we stay together for the kids...we stay together for THE KIDS..yada yada

 

WHILE some of this may be true, and surely men marry cold women,and women who play games..and women who are not physical with them much....BUT to me this means they either need therapy, to work it out in honesty..or need to break the h*** up.

 

To cheat on your wife/husband...is not a game..its real harsh stuff.

If you dont respect marriage or want it..thats cool..i never wanted it either...but i know i would not take a casual attitude about being with someone elses man...it often is about passion u cant have with a husband or long term boyfriend..

 

ITS easy to be the queen or object of someones affection when u only see them every gray moon..and when u have none of the challenges that married people face daily living together....its easy for this guy to think u are the cats meow..cause what he has at home is old and stale...perhaps..

 

he may be truthful and he may not be lying about his wife..and sex...but what guy who is having an affair is going to approach u and say..

 

I HAVE a great wife, we have sex every week...she is awesome...but i just want a fling on the side..u are my fling...my sex gal...

 

he is disrespecting you and her...mostly her...and should watch it...

everyone who sleeps with a married man is not a bad person...i cant cast stones...i dont think most people are bad...i have faith in them...but to take such a non chalant attitude and degrade this other women for laughs on here is another story...

i too did not see the point....

 

If u are reaching out for help..it did not come out that way..it seems u know what you are doing and enjoy it..the games...being the special one who meets his needs...

 

its easy to be other women and keep a guys affection

 

I had a MM who says he loves me, respects me..etc..and yada yada

they all sound familiar...

BUT i could not in good conscience...look myself in the mirror or answer to any god...if i kept him in my life in a sexual way

 

every time i spoke to him..i felt huge guilt and remorse...and feel way worse for her...than i ever did for me ..and i was lied to and made to believe all the things most girls in affairs believe...

 

i dont have hatred to you at all..

just want to say u may want to check your reasons for being with him..and look at what he really wants/thinks about u....

 

its fascinating to be the queen for a day..but usually the queen lands on her butt and gets broken...when she falls off that pedestal..

 

i wish u luck and mean no harm.....just felt compelled to post

be well

ger

[PLAYBRAT]

If this is TRULY how you feel Lizzie...that it's ALL ABOUT YOU....

and you don't WANT anybody in your life....then ASIDE from what you have between your legs..I wouldn;t be surprised if these guys only see you as a hole with a heartbeat. This is EXACTLY how you portray yourself. Not as a woman who has a caring heart, or compassion for others.

 

That sounds like such an empty hollow life...regardless of HOW happy you claim to be.

[EnigmaXOXO]

It is very different, in my case anyway, to be with someone a few hours a week... and to live with him 24/7 ... there is not much room for arguments and 'fights'... LOL it's only good stuff. I'm sure I wouldn't get along, on a long-term basis with any of them... or maybe it's just me, that do not want to compromise or 'sacrifice' my 'ways'.

 

Is that why you avoid single guys? ... Worried they might want more from you than you’re willing to sacrifice or give away??

 

For me ... I don’t want to give away too much of myself for I guy who I don’t like to be around 24/7, either. And if we’re fighting and arguing ... I certainly ain’t havin’ sex with him! I’ve got to be COMPLETELY turned on ... stinky morning breath, dirty underware, snoring, belching, farting and ALL that good stuff that comes from sharing your life with a manly man.

 

As a matter of fact ... I kinda like it!

 

You see, I adore men just as much as you do! But not just the fake Ken dolls and boy toys. I like the stuff they have going for them on the inside just as much. So long as they DO have something more going for them on the inside.

 

Nice guys are loveable and cuddly. You other ladies are welcomed to KEEP the jerks.

[PLAYBRAT]

And only a JERK would appraoch his 'piece on the side' in a public place...while his WIFE was there, to basically say he wanted to screw her.

Yeah.....that's a REAL winner right there....and I am sure he REALLY

"loves"Lizzie....LOL

[Lizzie60]

this might surprise you but I do have sex with men that say they love their wives and are very happy and would never leave them... as a matter of fact, I can think of one who says he has a healthy sex life with her... strange I know.. but why... because he wants more.. he wants change.

 

They're not all saying that their W are sexless b*tches.. in fact, none of them are speaking against their W.. they all, without exception, have great respect for their W... they are mostly good husbands and great fathers.. that I know.. I wouldn't see them otherwise... I don't sleep with jerks.

[Lizzie60]

Is that why you avoid single guys? ... Worried they might want more from you than you’re willing to sacrifice or give away??

 

For me ... I don’t want to give away too much of myself for I guy who I don’t like to be around 24/7, either. And if we’re fighting and arguing ... I certainly ain’t havin’ sex with him! I’ve got to be COMPLETELY turned on ... stinky morning breath, dirty underware, snoring, belching, farting and ALL that good stuff that comes from sharing your life with a manly man.

 

As a matter of fact ... I kinda like it!

 

You see, I adore men just as much as you do! But not just the fake Ken dolls and boy toys. I like the stuff they have going for them on the inside just as much. So long as they DO have something more going for them on the inside.

 

Nice guys are loveable and cuddly. You other ladies are welcomed to KEEP the jerks.

 

oh well.. we all want different things in life... for most of my life I wanted a nice guy to live happily ever after... but this has changed. I do not wish for this kind of life for the moment.. I am not saying that I will NEVER want it.. but for now... I am satisfy with what I have.

 

Right now, I like the fake Kens.. and the boy toys.. it could very well be a phase in my life.. i have no idea...

 

If this phase last 10 years and then it change for something else, so be it.. we cannot predict the future and what we will need/want in 5-10 years from now... I can't ..anyway.

 

Maybe I will meet one man one day and I will be happy getting old with him.. who knows! LOL

 

But ..so far I am happy with my life.. so if it stays like that.. it's all good.

 

Us, humans, have a tremendous facility to adapt to all kind of situations...

 

C'est la vie!

[bestadvisor]

 

They're not all saying that their W are sexless b*tches.. in fact, none of them are speaking against their W.. they all, without exception, have great respect for their W... they are mostly good husbands and great fathers.. that I know.. I wouldn't see them otherwise... I don't sleep with jerks.

 

 

How many married men are you currently sleeping with? How many have you slept with? Where and how did you meet them?

[Touche]

this might surprise you but I do have sex with men that say they love their wives and are very happy and would never leave them... as a matter of fact, I can think of one who says he has a healthy sex life with her... strange I know.. but why... because he wants more.. he wants change.

 

They're not all saying that their W are sexless b*tches.. in fact, none of them are speaking against their W.. they all, without exception, have great respect for their W... they are mostly good husbands and great fathers.. that I know.. I wouldn't see them otherwise... I don't sleep with jerks.

 

Well just by virtue of the fact that they're married men sleeping with someone other than their wives, in my book that makes them unqualified JERKS!

[PLAYBRAT]

A woman who KNOWINGLY AND WILLINGLY pursues married men makes her a as much..if not a BIGGER jerk than the man.

[Impudent Oyster]

He sounds like a complete A$Shole. What a sorry excuse for a husband.

[GreenEyedLady]

A woman who KNOWINGLY AND WILLINGLY pursues married men makes her a as much..if not a BIGGER jerk than the man.

 

Why are we throwing stones here? No one does anything they don't want to do...

 

Grown men should be held accountable for their actions...If they choose to cheat, they choose to cheat...They're the married one and they're the one who is responsible to their spouse...If they don't want to cheat, they won't...

[Impudent Oyster]

Exactly... I know, in this case, that they have sex about once a month, cause she has her periods 3 weeks/month and refuses to do anything about it. They had arguments over arguments about this. She is just not sexual... (now I can see that). She gave him oral maybe once or twice in 28 years. She never wears lingerie, she thinks it looks stupid on her (I can see that LOL)... He has to hide to masturbate. She wouldn't understand.

 

When I saw her, it all came to my mind.. she looks soooo frigid... in fact I thought she looks like a man dressed up with women's clothes...

 

They soooo don't match together. This is a real mis-matched couple.

 

So if she's so inferior to you as a woman then why are you so obviously jealous of her?

[whichwayisup]

Maybe I will meet one man one day and I will be happy getting old with him.. who knows! LOL

 

One question though - If that ever does happen and you find that one man to get old with - How would you feel if you were exclusive with him and found out he wasn't exclusive with you and had OW on the side. And let's say that the kind of relationship you had with him was supposed to just be the two of you, no outsider helpers allowed...

 

I know you don't believe in marriages, I guess I don't understand why you can't respect those who are in them.

 

[PLAYBRAT]

Ok I am sick of that line... "if the men cheat they cheat"...LOL..like

the women have NO brains to think with. MAYBE..just MAYBE if the women these men cheat with closed their legs and said.."go home to your wife you cheating jerk"....less affairs would happen???

 

I am sorry but this type of thread...with women like Lizzie who BRAG about sleeping with MARRIED men gets under my skin. She does not HIDE the fact that she enjoys it....THAT is the kind of woman I am talking about. Not the woman who was kept in the dark or LIED to.

That is what I am talking about. So please stop using that line. MANY MANY MANY women who stay in affairs should be held accountable as well.

[GreenEyedLady]

Ok I am sick of that line... "if the men cheat they cheat"...LOL..like

the women have NO brains to think with. MAYBE..just MAYBE if the women these men cheat with closed their legs and said.."go home to your wife you cheating jerk"....less affairs would happen???

 

I am sorry but this type of thread...with women like Lizzie who BRAG about sleeping with MARRIED men gets under my skin. She does not HIDE the fact that she enjoys it....THAT is the kind of woman I am talking about. Not the woman who was kept in the dark or LIED to.

That is what I am talking about. So please stop using that line. MANY MANY MANY women who stay in affairs should be held accountable as well.

 

And you're entitled to your opinion as much as Lizzie is entitled to hers...

 

I find it so funny that supposed "OW" come here and suddenly break up with their MM and then go around harassing the OW who have been here for a while...If you're so happy with your break-up why stay here?