heres-hoping Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 What I cannot figure out about myself is why a relatioship is so hard for me when other people form them seemingly effortlessly. And why is that I can be so conifdent in other areas of life, but not when it comes to women? I jumped out airplanes in the army - yeah I was scared, but not enough to keep me from doing it. I have a job that requires me to give presentations to rooms full of people and talk to important and high ranking elected officials in my state regularly - yes I get a little bit nervous because I want to do a good job at it, but I enjoy doing it, and have no real problem with it. I don't tell these things to make me sound like some kind of tough guy, I am just pointing out that I can comfortably do many things that other people find frightening or intimidating. I have confidence in dealing with my job, with other people, in taking risks. So why does this confidence leave me so completely when it comes to relationships? Why do women frighten me? Does anyone else have this same problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 YOU ASK: "Why do women frighten me?" Because many can be quite frightening! Actually, it's not the women who frighten you...it's you yourself. You are the one who decides to be frightened. Most of the ladies are just as eager to meet you as you are to meet them. No matter how awkward it may seem, introduce yourself. Rejection is the number one fear in the world. Let it be your friend. Every rejection brings you closer to acceptance. Rejection is not fatal and says nothing about you. A lady you introduce yourself to who is not receptive is not rejection you personally because she doesn't know you. She is probably trying to save you from her six foot five, 250 pound boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 maybe because you know that you can distance yourself a certain amount in those things, but in a relationship with a girl you have to get up close and personal? some women can be scary (gee thanks, tony, for pointing that out), but there are a lot who have their heads screwed on straight and are actually quite nice. have you ever thought about a simple friendship with a woman, you know, kind of to help you get "introduced" to the idea of being around women in a not-so-scary setting? Might help boost your confidence when it comes to dating... Link to post Share on other sites
Jay_83 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 To be in a relationship you need to fully let yourself go....and this can quite often lead to rejection.......It hurts, sometimes so much you don't wanna go on....but like everyone else you'l get over it and it won't be a problem anymore. Even though women can be extremly scary and daunting at times they're also wonderful things...Just trust you're heart and not you're head and you'l be fine. In the presentations you do for work you're selling a product or a service........with women do exactly the same cause at the end of the day you're selling you!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 What I cannot figure out about myself is why a relatioship is so hard for me when other people form them seemingly effortlessly. huh? Have you not read other's posts in breaking up, jealousy, divorce, coping? You aren't alone! Link to post Share on other sites
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