Is a second chance possible at this point?

[sharon1970]

Hi, my ex have been broken up now for a little over a month. We were dating for 2 years on and off untill we had a huge fight and i walked out (he basically kicked me out). I tried contacting him 2 days later to discuss but he said he didn't want to fight anymore and i didn't pursue it further. The first contact we had was 2 weeks later when he sent me my things and wrote me a beautiful good bye letter.

 

Despite a turbulent 2 years together where we had broken up like 4 times over insecurities and stonewalling tactics (we are both very stubborn), we very much in love. The last few months have been even worse, mostly due to the fact that he wasn't ready to get married. He does have a fear of commitment and the fact that we have been fighting incessantly only increased his fears. 4 months ago i broke up with him and after a week he told me he made a mistake and wanted to get married, but then we continued fighting and he changed his mind. Of course he made me a proposal that we live together and have a child (not an idea i would even entertain). More or less the last break up was a result of all the tension created around this issue.

 

In the last month we have emailed eachother, mostly rehashing our issues and not getting anywhere. We basically told eachother its over, i'm moving on etc etc. Then last week i initiated an email to him telling him i miss him and if he feels the same. He replied using some very intense words describing how he loves me and misses me. He also mentioned that he has tried reaching out to me but that i wasn't responding to him (his version of reaching out is simply telling me some news about his family). He also expressed being upset that i am moving on with my life and looking for other partners after i told him he's the one. I believe he saw my profile on a dating site. I replied asking to see him and he didn't answer me for 2 days. So i wrote him an email telling him i didn't believe he was sincere about reaching out to me and if he wanted me back that he would have not been so cryptic and ambiguous about it. I told him words mean nothing that i need it supported by deeds. I also confessed i had put a profile online but have taken it down as i'm not ready. i told him i missed him and wish that things were different. I haven't heard back now for 5 days and don't think i will.

 

I do want him back but i feel after what he put me through and not wanting to get married that the ball is in his court. Does anyone believe that there could still be a chance? My worst fear is that he will start dating someone and forget about me (if he hasn't already). Sorry for the long description any advise would be really appreciated.

[ElvenPriestess]

You guys have obviously been through alot. Ups and downs, on and off. You just have to know exactly where you both stand. And if you both want to try and work it out, then through hard work, dedication, communication and possibly counseling together, I believe it could happen. Working out your differences, understanding what must stay and what must leave the relationship to keep it happy. But if it's one sided it won't work. So the first step is knowing hands down what each of you wants.