greeneyedred Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Hello all As a non practicing jew who is considering converting to christianity...has anyone put some principles of the bible or faith into trying to help overcoming insecurity and jealousy? I dont mean this is be a religious conversation ..(or bring topic into wrong area) but I am just curious. For all the self help and therapy and brutal self beatings of how i react...I never found much help in any of it. My core has been my core beliefs and fears. SO while I am smart of evolved enough to know insecurity is usually fear and demons of past lead to it...msot things dont help change my core beliefs. SO the more i practice faith...spirituality..I see things in bible or in God which perhaps...lol..just perhaps ..will make me look at jealousy or insecurity in a new way...a way i can actually work on chaning behaviors.. If i look at irrational jealousy as selfish, and against Gods will...(if its hurtful, and serves no purpose) perhaps this makes it easier to want to change. 1. If we think of ourselves as kind, loving, and want to well to others, and be a good, giving person, then if i am jealous for no reason (i mean not fault of my partner)..then that is self serving, and a call out for help. 2. i find that jealousy almost never solves anything for me...i dont date men who make me jealous..cause i know i have this demon in..insecurities..so if one is jealous without cause to be..thats irrational as heck...and deep...i do that.. 3. so if want to be loving and grow...and respect person i am with...then things i see in the bible or Gods word..or spirituality..of any kind,,,help me want to rid myself of these crazy thoughts...or at least they give me another way to approach it. If i see jealousy as selfish...it sure makes me want to change my ways....i have a huge heart, and am not a selfish person..but jealousy can make me evil..and do selfish things...so wow..perhaps for some people...connecting more to faith, whatever faith that is....gives us hope for change... once i start seeing this as a self serving mess..and see the terrible snowball effect of mis placed jealousy..it seems crazy so many of us keep doing it...i baffle myself..and always hate and regret and apologize for the behavior immediately.. SO...???? Has anyone found strength in religion or prayer or faith...to look at this from another perspective?? the more loving i become as a person..and the less self involved...boy..i would think some of the insecurities would let go just a tiny tiny bit...BOY i hope so.. thanks for letting me ramble these thoughts... I want hope...i have to think some people do work on their insecurities and get better...i never have mastered that...not when it comes to dating i am fine in other ways..but relationships...YIKES>.lol greeneyed red Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Well as a non practicing Jew who converted FROM Christianity about a year and a half ago I can tell you that I look to God and faith for all aspects of my own issues. And certainly jealousy included. Envy is a sin, it speaks on numerous occasions how wrong it is to envy other people's possessions, spouses, or just people in general. In theory it's a great idea. He says don't be jealous, as it is sinful, so I won't. But that's not the reality in most cases. I think you can utilize text and faith to guide you with your own principles. I don't think that it will be a perfect cure without self sacrifice. You have a tool, faith. And combining the tool you have, the Word you can learn from, and your own self determination, than you can overpower this feeling. It is an emotion, and like any other, it may always exist, but you can use these things of guidance to help you channel them. Does this make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Author greeneyedred Posted December 16, 2007 Author Share Posted December 16, 2007 Hi sure it makes sense, thx for reply. I know that it (my issues) must be tackled from many ways...I was just realizing faith may be a nice way to add on to what I am doing..because it shows me jealousy in another way...and that i can connect with. I am not jealous of coworkers or a brother/sister who does well...and friends who are rising fast in business world..etc...i have a huge heart and deep happiness for most everyone..and never hate anyone. Its not cause i am such a great person, it is who i am to the core.. Sometimes our core is great and other times it is not. I do have romantic jealousy and insecurities...very different than jealousy over wanting what others have. That just is not in me....so there is hope..lol I think that faith and seeing jealousy as sin...helps give me another tool, that i did not see before. It sure wont erase my issues...not even Houdini could make that vanish..lol....but it gives me another viewpoint..less selfish...etc. I mean its odd cause i am so aware of my words/actions...yet i immediately react in the wrong or non helpful way. IF only i could pause my brain before speaking/writing in certain circumstances..what a treasure that would be. I also see in bible or faith, that self sabatoge is also not serving anyone well. So if i beat myself up like a mad man...women..lol..about the behaviors i dont like in me...it also serves no purpose. YET i do it all the time. Its a snowball effect 1. Say/do something wrong (re jelousy/insecurity) 2. inevitable make someone else feel bad or be on defensive.. 3. apologize profusely for behavior.. 4. beat self up senselessly and horrible for acting that way yet again I would never say the things i say to myself (abusive things) that I do to others. I always felt the more i beat myself up about behavior..the more i learn and stop it..AINT that a lie..lol. It never helps..ever...just spirals. So perhaps giving self a break and cutting self slack...when behaviors happen, tied into looking as jealousy as selfish..(when it is mis guided)...will be a good tool...who knows i prefer to beat self up..got so good at it..and then realized that is also a selfish behavior...if it serves no purpose or does not help u grow/change I wish someone could wave a magic wand and make it all go away... ha ha thanks GER Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 I think eventually, with perserverance, you are able to just "wave it away," but reconciliation (with God, with self, with others) must include forgiveness. In this case, forgiving yourself for not being the "good" person you strive to be when you fall short of not being jealous. we all have are particular areas where we feel we fall short, but self-recrimination isn't going to help us heal the way forgiveness can ... in my experience, prayer has been a wonderful tool because it helps me to look outside my insecurities and to call on devine help to conquer them. It also helps me see how I'm linked to God and to others, and not remain cloistered in my own selfish desires, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Making it happen to where you pause and think carefully before responding to that feeling can absolutely be done. BUT it takes patience, time, LOTS of practice. I'm always doing my best to be more rational and less emotional with jealousy. I don't always succeed, but I am much better than I was. So the first step is to learning to control that outburst that you want to make. Biting your lip, walking away (and I KNOW that one is SOOO hard to do.) But you have to learn to resist the temptation to give into that feeling. And then you won't have to tell anyone you're sorry, which means you'll have no reason to beat yourself up about it. Instead, you'll pat yourself on the back and say "I knew I could get this habit under control." I say habit because you seem to be caught in a cycle. Time to break the cycle. And I like the other post about forgiveness. You do need to forgive yourself, otherwise you cannot progress. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greeneyedred Posted December 17, 2007 Author Share Posted December 17, 2007 yes I agree with your posts thanks.. I am easy to forgive everyone..i mean everyone in a second...except myself. I hold myself to standards I dont expect from others...so this is helpful to reinforce. I know this stuff..but hearing/reading /chatting makes it more alive... I am glad you have found better ways to manage your jealousy and think before speaking/outbursts etc... It is habit and outbursts are more manageable than i make them,. I would love to pat myself on back more for NOT doing the behavior..and that is something that faith is bringing me closer to...i hope...:-) thanks and happy Monday...lol greeneyedred Link to post Share on other sites
rycfoo Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I've found this devotional to be really useful when I dealt with these feelings of jealous/insecurity: http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php?month=02&day=06&year=08 Link to post Share on other sites
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