we say we aren't together, but we really are?

[spooty]

me and the bf broke up a few days ago (not even a week) but since then we've gone to the movies and gone out to eat a few times, to basically not much had changed other than we were "not together" formally.

yesterday i came over to study for a final and we ended up having sex, he really enjoyed seducing me, and well, i resisted only so much. he liked the fact that i was somewhat unresponsive and said things like "you know we shouldn't do this" during it we kept saying things like "this is wrong, but it feels better than before!" we ended up having sex 4 times, and while we were together we NEVER had sex more than twice in a 24 hour period.

 

ok to the questions...

the whole time we at together he is affirming "i'm free to act how i want now" and "we're not together" and stuff like that, but i think he's deluding himself to think that we aren't. i think the change in "status" has been enough to make him feel more uninhibited and like he can act like himself (which incidentally, is more fun) and has actually helped me be less jealous.

so we are, but we aren't. neither of us is going to date other people since we've only been with each other, and i'm pretty sure when we have free time we will choose for it to be with each other, so i think we're still together, but the dynamic has changed. he said "we make a better couple when we're not together"

so we are, but we aren't? i feel like we've just unwound ourselves from each other, and it's helped a lot, we both needed freedom, but we both want each other. i think not being together is going to end up being a joke between us.

now i have to figure out how to keep this going, maybe seeing each other in smaller doses and keeping up the friendly but "it's wrong" type banter.

 

also one more thing! can a guy's penis get bigger depending on how horny he is? because we both swear he was bigger when we were having our "wrong" sex. when we were first together we were quite secretive to keep his parents and some friends from finding out, i think we both benefit from the "taboo" idea of us. what do you think?!?! maybe we just needed to take off the pressure of trying to make each other happy, now we'll just do what we want and be more ourselves!