poman2125 Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 so last week i started a conversation with a girl in a class of mine before class started. she seemed really nice and into the conversation, and she's pretty cute too. i was planning on asking her out afterwards but i got pulled aside by the teacher, and she had left. bummer, especially since i never see her outside of class and that was the last one. luckily for me, we are friends on "a popular social networking site" so i sent her a message asking if she wanted to grab coffee and hang out with me sometime. after a couple of days, she responded saying that she would love to but things are busy with finals and everything, and she asked when my last one was. she also said that if we didn't meet up during finals we could hang out when we got back from break. i sent a response answering her question and saying that i don't have much studying to do, so if she wanted to ever take a break from work she should let me know. now it's been 4 days and nada. i've never approached a girl like this, i would have much preferred to ask her in person. i feel like maybe she really is just busy, but part of me thinks that a lack of response is parallel to a lack of interest. how busy can you be? if she really wanted to, wouldn't she have responded sooner? since i kind of left it up to her, i don't want to say anything else. thoughts? sorry this post is kind of OD. we just "clicked". Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 She waited a couple days to respond to your first message, so it shouldn't surprise you that she's taking a while to get back to you now. Have you checked the "Sent" feature on the site to see if she's read the message yet (I'm assuming you're talking about MS?)? She specifically told you that she's available AFTER the break. Your offer to get together during finals probably isn't really ... "convenient," for lack of a better word. When I was in her shoes, finals always came first, and any guy who was pushy during that time got to boot...and FAST. But I a schooly-nerdy type like that. It's finals and the holidays. Be patient and don't be pessimistic. Give it another shot after the break - in person or on the phone, not through the site. But if she still delays or doesn't seem obviously interested, I'd move on. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 I would worry about the too busy to respond thing after you have had a first date. When you like someone- there is no such things as being too busy. But you need not worry about that until you have gone out once or twice. Wait until she comes back- and wait until she responds to you. Don't send two messages in a row. Wait for a response first. ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Maybe she read too many rules books! Link to post Share on other sites
Author poman2125 Posted December 18, 2007 Author Share Posted December 18, 2007 hopefully she didn't think i was being too pushy. every student here as at least one day off during finals week so i didn't feel like i was asking the impossible. it just sucks because the break lasts an entire month, so i'm worried she'll completely forget by the time we get back. like i said, we're in the same class, and we have a final together on the last day so i hope she at least responds by then. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Some people just seriously freak over something like finals. My ex-girlfriend would get hyperfocused on her self when something important was coming up (moreso than her normal superfocused selfish attitude). She may just be thinking of nothing more than finals this week, or b/w finals and friends and the upcoming break just doesn't feel it's a good time to start something "new" (i.e., you). I would vote on the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poman2125 Posted December 27, 2007 Author Share Posted December 27, 2007 so we've been having a little back and forth online (not on AIM). she keeps the messages very brief and short, as am i. i know that she reads the messages, but she sits on them for a day or sometimes 2 and then responds? is that a good sign, that she takes her time like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Sorry but she is just not that interested. If she really DUG you , you guys would be hanging out , Finals or not. The fact that she waited 2 days to respond to your invite and then put you off for after the break which is weeks away. Nah uh....I'm just giving you a womans perspective and what a women who is not likely interested would do...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author poman2125 Posted December 28, 2007 Author Share Posted December 28, 2007 thanks for giving me a straight up answer like that. i figured that if her interest level was high she would have wanted to do something during that finals week. then again i haven't had a lot of face time with her, so i guess she doesn't have a whole lot to get excited about. i feel like if she really wasn't feeling me, she wouldn't bother messaging me. she always ends messages with questions...so she is keeping the conversation going, and she MUST know i am really interested in her. it was bad timing on my part to ask her out during the busiest time of the school year, and even worse because our vacation lasts for a month. i guess i can only see what happens when we get back and if she'll follow through. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poman2125 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 allllllllllllllright, one last question. we've still been talking and stuff, just small talk really stretched out over a couple of weeks. her message today was quite brief and i'm not sure how to respond, or if i even should. all she did was agree with a point i made, and then she said thanks in response to a compliment i made. so she didn't really ask a question or add anything new, which she has done before. should i keep the convo going or just not respond? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Whats the point of continuing a conversation with someone who is not interested in anything with you ? If you want her as a buddy , fine. But if you are romantically interested , you need to look elsewhere and fast Link to post Share on other sites
Boost79 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Whats the point of continuing a conversation with someone who is not interested in anything with you ? If you want her as a buddy , fine. But if you are romantically interested , you need to look elsewhere and fast +1, don't spend too much energy on a woman if she doesn't respond. Women who play games will be playing them ALONE for a long time. Move on to the next one, that's what I do. Link to post Share on other sites
BeautifulMystique Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 +1, don't spend too much energy on a woman if she doesn't respond. Women who play games will be playing them ALONE for a long time. Move on to the next one, that's what I do. I second that! I wouldn't waste any more time on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 hmmm your situation sorta sounds like mine . . . although I've been having more success with the convos and actually getting some dates. Also the girl is 4 years older than me so i guess thats why i'm still sorta hooked on her (givin me a challenge here). It's hard to say what this girl is really trying to say. If honestly she didn't like you at all, I would assume that she wouldn't keep in contact with you because (like you said) shes not really available outside of that one class (meaning, she'll never see you again really, unless she wanted to). She could be seeing just how far she can take this, leaving short responses that really offer no branching off point for extended convos (although this is a nice way of saying "go away" as well). The obvious standpoint would be that the girl just isn't interested, for whatever reason it may be, and that you should just let it go. I pretty much chased a girl like you are doing now, only i did it face to face (so that might have helped) and i didn't use "facebook" or "myspace" to keep in contact with her. (That reminds me, she has time to respond to your messages but no time to hang out with you? interesting) It probably would have been best to have gotten her phone number and called her to set up a date; that way you can hear her voice and sorta analyze her better (excitement, dread, neutral, bland, angry, nervous, etc). Don't feel bad, it took me 2 weeks to finally set up a date with her that worked (she cancelled on me twice...but still insisted on setting up another). All the while I had to do all the calling, asking when a good time would be, and if there were any conflicts to let me know. I can't really say that the morale of my story is a good one, considering its still in the process of being hashed out. But we're answering your problem not mine Honestly, if she's really dead-set on your mind, then go for it, you've already wasted time and energy trying to figure out what it all means. Why not see if shes a girl that likes being pursued hardcore and do what it takes to spend time with her. Otherwise, I'd strongly suggest you leave it alone and find another cute classmate to hit on and talk to (face to face). Link to post Share on other sites
Author poman2125 Posted January 25, 2008 Author Share Posted January 25, 2008 I kind of forgot about her up until a couple of days ago, she wished me a happy birthday, which was nice of her considering she doesn't know me that well at all. And yes, I could spend a lot of time speculating about her actions and what they could mean. Maybe she's uncomfortable talking online, maybe she's shy, maybe she's nervous, and maybe she flat out doesn't like me and doesn't know how to tell me. I don't like judging a person by an online conversation, so I'll wait till we get back to school this weekend and see if she's still down for getting together. Because, after all, she did say that she would love to do that when we first started talking. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 I kind of forgot about her up until a couple of days ago, she wished me a happy birthday, which was nice of her considering she doesn't know me that well at all. And yes, I could spend a lot of time speculating about her actions and what they could mean. Maybe she's uncomfortable talking online, maybe she's shy, maybe she's nervous, and maybe she flat out doesn't like me and doesn't know how to tell me. I don't like judging a person by an online conversation, so I'll wait till we get back to school this weekend and see if she's still down for getting together. Because, after all, she did say that she would love to do that when we first started talking. Alot of her actions speak of not being interested...We can speculate and say she's not interested in online chatting ( I'm not either ) She could be shy ( I am somewhat ) She could be nervous ( that one lessens as she gets to know you ) Or more likely possible , she might not see you in a romantic way , does not want to break your heart in pieces and continues to be nice to you. Do you want to know quick ? Get her to accept a date and then somewhere during the date KISS her ! Does she look disgusted. Red faced ? Does she smile ? Does she move away like hot poker sticks ? Gauge her reaction and that will tell you more hopefully. I say again if you are romantically interested in her DO NOT keep being her buddy pal unless of course thats okay and never ever expect anything more. IF you want more , go for more ! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 first date kiss? yeah maybe if the date is really going well and you find yourself happily drawn into it otherwise why commit to a girl when you don't really know her? And one date doesn't reveal everything about her either (i.e: her possible problems and emotional baggage!) but hey i never kiss on a first date (SOBER) because I'm hesitant about going into a relationship unless I have a very good feeling about it. Just get her to go on a date with you and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 Sorry OP, but as a friendly, nice woman/person who never wants to hurt feelings, this is EXACTLY how I would respond, if I thought you were a nice person but i had NO interest in dating you. lets be honest, if she was thrilled, excited and into you, she would have carved out an HOUR or two to meet for coffee. I would suggest, with all kindess and respect, that you move on... Link to post Share on other sites
Author poman2125 Posted January 26, 2008 Author Share Posted January 26, 2008 lets be honest, if she was thrilled, excited and into you, she would have carved out an HOUR or two to meet for coffee. yeah exactly. what's up with that, it'd just be so strange to me if she wasn't into at least going out. when we talked in person she was very flirty and into me. oh well! i wouldn't even know how to go about asking her on a date without messaging her online...i never see her at school and we have no more class together. i guess i'll just have to look around for her or something. Link to post Share on other sites
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