brothermartin Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 In time I might miss things here and there but it's never enough to make me want them back. When the break-up is still fresh I'm just glad to be done with them. In my mind the bad outweighed the good or I wouldn't have broken it up. Maybe in you mind the bad outweighed the good, but what if in reality you found out the bad really wasn't bad enough to dump that person? Link to post Share on other sites
JustinWolf Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Hmm, they usually do miss the dumpees, at least, that's what I hope. I've dumped plenty and sometimes I do miss them, so, I'm guessing it all depends on the person. Been dumped, and still hoping the other half is missing me A LOT lol. And those who break up for all the wrong reasons, they usually tend to come back crying and missing us, most of the time, it's already too late for THEM. Nothing better than a good laugh, a big smile and an apetite for a perfect or practically perfect life Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I have dumped 2 people and have been dumped, but not really......I did not miss the first one tou much (abusive) but did feel bad several years later. The second one, yes I felt very bad ( I found someone else) and still do. He was a good man and I hurt him horribly, but we were not meant, I know that now. I hear songs on the radio and they still remind of them, that is the only time I really think of them now. I can tell you it is EASIER to get over someone and normally not miss them if you have someone else in the wings waiting or that you are going to.....sad to say, people move on too fast and it usually ends up in another break up anyway ! True, so true. Good post. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Maybe in you mind the bad outweighed the good, but what if in reality you found out the bad really wasn't bad enough to dump that person? this seems unlikely. can you give an example? at the time of the break-up, it obviously was bad enough. often, after some time, people seem to forget how sucky it was, and then they think they 'miss' someone because the anger/sadness has subsided. i don't think that means they made the wrong decision, or that the bad wasn't really bad enough. hey, if it makes someone who is broken-hearted feel better to think that the person who broke their heart is secretly regretting their decision and pining away for them, miserable and all alone, then think away. in most cases, though, it's just not true. it's best and healthiest to face reality and to just move on from the other person as they have moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
popey Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I've dumped men b/c I realized it just wasn't quite right. And while i was glad to have made the move, there were things i missed despite not wanting them back. Link to post Share on other sites
CalamitousJane Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I can tell you it is EASIER to get over someone and normally not miss them if you have someone else in the wings waiting or that you are going to..... That's what I love most about my imaginary husband. He's making it so much easier to move on. Plus he's hot. And he's WAY into me Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Maybe in you mind the bad outweighed the good, but what if in reality you found out the bad really wasn't bad enough to dump that person? Excuse me? My perception is my reality, same as your perception is your reality or anyone else's for that matter. Dumpers dump dumpees because they don't want them around anymore. If they made a mistake they will come back but most times they don't. They move on. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Excuse me? My perception is my reality, same as your perception is your reality or anyone else's for that matter. Dumpers dump dumpees because they don't want them around anymore. If they made a mistake they will come back but most times they don't. They move on. That's what I was saying earlier. If they truly "missed" any part of the relationship to the point they longed for it, they'd be back. But I'd say about 95% of the time it's not enough to make them come back so yeah, they might miss a few aspects of the relationship but it's not enough to change their mind. One's time is better focused on the present and future than the past. The past can not be changed and is over with. It's not wise to "till the soil while looking behind you...." Link to post Share on other sites
brothermartin Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Excuse me? My perception is my reality, same as your perception is your reality or anyone else's for that matter. Dumpers dump dumpees because they don't want them around anymore. If they made a mistake they will come back but most times they don't. They move on. I suppose you are right. Especially when the person believes that what they think is what's real, regardless of possible errors in judgement or maybe non-objective perception. I always thought that reality was what it proved itself to be, not what people believed it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
LostinBama Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 I suppose each person and situation is different. I would hope that after 22 years my STBXW would miss me, but I have to agree with the others here that it would be counterproductive to dwell on it. I wish I could say that I follow my own (and others) advice. In my case, I do not see it and doubt that it is, or will be present in her mind. Quite simply, I have already been replaced. As dumpee’s we need to learn the dumpers craft and apply it to our psyche to survive and move forward. I have only started this journey and have miles to go before I sleep. I wish all of us luck in this tough journey… Link to post Share on other sites
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