niceguy27 Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Hello all. First time posting in here but I have posted a bit in the breaking up sections. Ive been "single" now from my ex going on 4 months now. Its over and done with and I dont think I would take her back again. At least not for a long time and only if we took things really slow. Anyway, I have a good friend of mine I have known for about 3 years. We used to work next to each other and she was the OW with a guy I worked with who was married. He had an affair with his wife with this friend of mine. Went on for close to 2 years. So I never tried anything with her as she was kind of with my buddy. Well...fast forward to now. He still hasnt left his wife and its been about a year since they have seen each other. I havent seen him in almost a year and I can now look back and see that he was just using her and honestly I dont think he will ever leave his wife. Anyway, shes busy with school and they talk occasionally and she tells everyone she doesnt have time to date. The last two months her and I have been hanging out A LOT. Like 2-3 times a week. Most of the time its with her roomate (who is also a good friend of mine) but sometimes its just the two of us hanging out. The last month things have been getting a little strange and Im not sure how to take it. We go to a local bar and go dancing. At first it was all friendly and fun. But the more we went, the more "provacative" she would be while dancing with me. She would allow me to get closer and closer and I could feel the ol boy getting excited (haha, only because Ive never had feelings for her like that before). Anyway, that goes on and I hear about her getting a little jealous when I go on dates or hang with other women. Heres my little dilemna...She is not the type to handle a direct confrontation about stuff like this. Her roomate tells me to just play it cool and see what develops. If I pour my heart out and tell her how I feel she may over think the whole thing (as we are "just friends"). If I dont act on it, its going to bug the hell out of me. And just last weekend her ex happened to be out and I got jealous...wth?? Cool guy but nonetheless I think I got jealous. Week prior to that SHE got a little jealous wondering where I was and came looking for me while I was hanging with another girl I know. Ive always had lots of girl friends and know where the lines are and never cross them. But now that Im a bit older (Im 28, shes 24) I feel that I know myself well enough to know the difference between a friendship and something else. Any help on this matter?? Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 She is not the type to handle a direct confrontation about stuff like this. Find me a woman who is. You'll be searching for a long time. Now here's what you do... Look into her eyes, move closer, and kiss her on the lips. If she responds positively, you're in. If she responds negatively, you're not. This stuff's not rocket science. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 So last night I went out for my bday. She came with me and hung out with all my hometown friends. We were VERY flirty the entire night. Way more physical contact than ever before. Close contact, sitting on my lap, and just real heavy flirting the whole night. It kind of surprised me as she normally is not like that and every time we hang out, things go a little further. Anyway, she was all over me (well all over each other) but when I would get REAL close or make an attempt to "make a move," she would kind of shy away from it. We ended up sleeping in a bed together to pass out and she just kind of rolled over and was out like a light. No cuddling or anything like that. So help me understand why she would be so hot and cold?? My buddy says she just likes the attention but I really dont know as Ive never had feelings for her up until now AND the fact that we NEVER have been physical with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 oh...and so far she is somewhat aware of how i feel. I told her a little while back and it obviously didnt scare her off as we have been hanging out more since then. So far I have been real cool about not trying anything and just enjoying us hanging out. So should I just continue to play it cool and let things progress on their own or really try to make a move? Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted December 25, 2007 Author Share Posted December 25, 2007 any input? i know others have posted similiar exp. on here but its kind of a quiet forum...trialbyfire whats your input? i think u posted in my other threads when i wrote about my split with the ex so you kind of know my stories. Link to post Share on other sites
dunstable Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 You are not over your ex yet. You even admit a possiblity you might get bck together. It's way too early to be starting a new relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted December 26, 2007 Author Share Posted December 26, 2007 No. Im done with her. Shes involved in another r/s and has moved on. I meant that WAY down the road, I may consider getting back with her. Ill cross that bridge when/if I come to it. In the meantime, Ive spent loads of time getting back to my normal self and that is when these feelings developed for my friend. I know myself pretty sure and in the past I have always held myself back from developing feelings for a friend. This time though, having experienced a lot in terms of r/s experience, I feel different for her (my friend). I actually want to pursue something more with her unlike other friends in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
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