Feeling the brush off???

[robbdaman]

I'm new here but really want some advice in regards to my situation. Here's the details:

 

I met this gal at my gym and got her phone number and email. She is a full time student getting her physician's assistant degree. After a couple emails I called her and we set a time to meet up and hang out.

 

She had gone out the night before and drank something that made her feel kind of sick so she wasn't feeling very well for our "lunch" meeting so we thought we'd try for "dinner". She cancelled on this too since she felt horrible.

 

We talked again and ended up meeting for tea the next day while we studied a bit. It went very well and we got to know each other better. So I asked her to this surprise 40th birthday party for my roommate's friend. She accepted and said she was looking forward to it and had the perfect outfit to wear.

 

She calls me earlier in that day to make sure the plans were still on. I said yes, unless she was flaking on me. She replied she never flakes on anyone for any reason. Which is important information to me. That night was great. We talked about a lot of things and really hit it off. At the end of the night she was bashful about giving me a goodnight kiss. She even said she had only kissed 5 guys in her lifetime (she's 25), now 6 with kissing me. I found it hard to believe she was being shy. She's quite outspoken and worked as a Hooter's girl. How many Hooter's girls has anyone met that are shy?

 

So I call her a few days later and ask her if she'd like to go out again later in the week? She accepted and said it doesn't matter what we do. It was finals week for her and she was going to be going crazy studying and taking tests. I knew this and perfectly understood that she wanted a no brainer date. So obviously I didn't talk with her that much and didn't see her at all due to her studies taking priority. This I can understand and didn't to be a distraction either so I played it cool. I also knew ahead of time she would be leaving the next morning very early for Florida to go home and see her family for a week.

 

So Friday comes around and I had prepared to go to a comedy improv. I knew it would be a fun time for both of us. I hadn't talked with her since Wednesday so I called her. Got her VM and left a message. Three hours later I hadn't heard back and had to go into work for a quick hour or so. I called her again and left another VM explaining without going into too much detail that the show started at 8. While I was working I could hear my cell phone ringing and then a message was left.

 

She said she had just work up from a 3 hour nap, she was up all night studying, she just got my message. She passed all her exams. She then said she was sorry but she forgot she scheduled herself for a fundraiser at a doctor's house that night, that she didn't want to go but had to. She apologized again and said she won't be able to see me but said I could call her while she was in Florida and she hoped I was doing well.

 

I tried to call her back when I got the message but again got VM. I said I was disappointed and definately wish she would have called me earlier but I told her to take care and call me back.

 

So last night I spent studying, watching Spiderman on HBO with the dog. NOT what I was planning on doing. I'm kind of pissed about the whole situation. For someone who says she never flakes it sure sounds flakey. She has yet to return my call.

 

So what should I do? Do I call this gal while she is in Florida? Do I call her again at all? Should I wait for her to call me like I asked her to? Which in my experience is unlikely as women never call the guy. Should I just relax and maybe wait until she comes back and then talk to her then? How would any other guys feel and what would you do?

 

Rob

[yes]

c'mon, give her a break - she was having finals, she had some fundraiser thing, she forgot that coincided with your plans... it's not like you had planned to do something specific together - just "get together", which is sort of vague.

 

if i were you, i'd just take her out again once she gets back from Florida.

 

good luck,

-yes

[Tony T]

Don't even think about calling her while she's in Florida. Wait a week after her return from the south and then give her a call and ask her out. If she craps out on you again, forget about her.

 

I have to tell, this is the way many people operate these days. There are more flakes out there now than ever before. I personally only let something like this happen once...of course I allow for really good excuses...but oversleeping is BS. It would have been so easy for her to have let you know earlier in the day that she was very tired and probably wouldn't be able to go.

 

One more chance for her, no more!

[robbdaman]

For the most part I am just very irritated and don't want to seem like some kind of doormat. I won't be calling her while she is home. She's in Tampa right now though Tony so if you want me to email you her number, you can call her and tell her how much of a flake she is for me. Just kidding!

 

Vague get together or not if it was important to her she would have called as soon as she found out she had conflicting plans. I'll go by the three strikes rule on this one and give her another chance if but only when she gets back. Until then out of sight out of mind. There are other fish in the sea. I'm going to go out with a friend to a concert tonight so I'll just have fun and maybe meet some better chick to hang out with.

 

Rob

[robbdaman]

I'd still like to get some more opinions especially from women on what they think. Thanks!

 

Rob

[d1410]

my 2 cents....

 

You sound like an understanding guy. Give her another chance..but I agree with Tony..no more than that.

 

D

[Lou]

It's okay to be understanding but know the limit. That is, only you know when this woman is doing you wrong. The minute you feel like something is going wrong, RUN! I'm sorry but that's my best advice.