LoveLies Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Hey all, I have been with my guy three years, and at this point in my life, I'm looking for THE ONE. I get along great with him, but the problem is, we both come from rather "disrupted" pasts, aka we both messed up our lives after high school and are now rebuilding everything. I am in college part time, work full time, and he works two jobs and is in the process of going back to school. Due to these circumstances, we both still live at home... not exactly the ideal situation. I am 25, he's 24, and given our situations, neither of us are financially ready for marriage. However, on my end, the marriage bug has long bit, and I'm really itching to settle down. I guess what I'm trying to get it, is how can I "probe" him to see if he'll ever pop the question, or if I'm just waisting my time? I don't really want to go into much detail but has anyone been in/known of a situation like this? I'm sorry if this is a scattered post... I'm just so confused right now! Thanks for any input!
Elyssa Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Why not just ask him directly what his plans are? You've been together three years, it's definitely legitimate for you to be thinking about marriage and to want to know what his thoughts are and where the relationship is going. -E
lovelorcet Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I would advise against marriage. Get your act together first. How can you even be considering the responsibility of marriage when neither of you can really even take care of yourself? Get a life before you get married.
Elyssa Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Talking about the subject and making a plan for a future together doesn't mean they have to get married next month. -E
ElvenPriestess Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 I agree with the other two posts in combination. After three years there's no need to beat around the bush, just ask him how he feels about it. But at the same time, you both need to be at a point where you're both ready and stable to even consider such a thing.
Author LoveLies Posted December 19, 2007 Author Posted December 19, 2007 Thanks all for your responses. I know both of us need to get our acts together first and like I said neither of us are ready to get married at this moment. But I suppose asking him about future plans couldn't hurt. I guess I don't know how to go about doing so. Thank you all again.
Elyssa Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 But I suppose asking him about future plans couldn't hurt. I guess I don't know how to go about doing so. Okay, you don't know how to bring up the subject. How about renting a wedding-themed comedy (there's dozens of them) and watching it with him? That should spark some conversation easily! Of course, the best bet is just asking him directly. You should be able to talk about these things with him without feeling awkward. But, a little help won't hurt. -E
Author LoveLies Posted December 20, 2007 Author Posted December 20, 2007 Okay, you don't know how to bring up the subject. How about renting a wedding-themed comedy (there's dozens of them) and watching it with him? That should spark some conversation easily! Of course, the best bet is just asking him directly. You should be able to talk about these things with him without feeling awkward. But, a little help won't hurt. -E Thanks Elyssa, that's a good idea with renting a movie. Lately, Sunday nights have been our "movie nights" so I'll make sure to pick one up.
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