amerikajin Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 The same could be said for the guy that treats you so kindly, then lets you know what an utter biatch his ex was/is. Yeah, I don't think I've ever badmouthed my ex's in front of anyone I've dated. Sure, we all have our opinions or specific things we don't like about someone, but if some girl's telling me what an a-hole her ex is then I have to wonder why she dated him in the first place? What does that say about her? Same is true for dudes who date "biotches". Honestly, I think all of the girls I've dated for an extended period of time have been/are good people. It just didn't work for me or her for one reason or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 When it comes down to it, "Nice Guy" dating problems are symptoms of long standing personality problems rooted in self-esteem, and it's likely the core issues affect more than just your love life. Changing one's self is not easy. It never has been. Changing yourself at the core requires learning experiences that take significant time and effort. You can literally see and feel the difference once you reach your goal though. You'll wonder why you ever acted any other way. It's a long road to epiphany, and your vehicle is fueled by blood, sweat, and tears. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Yeah, I don't think I've ever badmouthed my ex's in front of anyone I've dated. Sure, we all have our opinions or specific things we don't like about someone, but if some girl's telling me what an a-hole her ex is then I have to wonder why she dated him in the first place? What does that say about her? Same is true for dudes who date "biotches". Honestly, I think all of the girls I've dated for an extended period of time have been/are good people. It just didn't work for me or her for one reason or another. Divorces involving kids and custody battles can cause serious arguments that will test the best of us. I've grown to have a fair amount of animosity for my ex. It wasn't that way when we split, but conflicting interests and lawsuits quickly tore things apart. Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Not all women are emotionally based. Nice guy attracts damsel in distress. (save me from the a'holes, until I get bored and want another a'hole). A'hole attracts insecure woman that will eventually seek escape via the nice guy all the more willing to rescue her. round and round this goes, until some of them grow up or settle. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 When it comes down to it, "Nice Guy" dating problems are symptoms of long standing personality problems rooted in self-esteem, and it's likely the core issues affect more than just your love life. Changing one's self is not easy. It never has been. Changing yourself at the core requires learning experiences that take significant time and effort. You can literally see and feel the difference once you reach your goal though. You'll wonder why you ever acted any other way. It's a long road to epiphany, and your vehicle is fueled by blood, sweat, and tears. Great post. I've been on LS a while and, call me weird, but sometimes I look back through my old posts and see how I've changed over the last few years. I came here not knowing d*ck about women despite having dated and having been in an extended relationship. In my case, I definitely have had self-confidence issues over the course of my life, which were fueled by health issues throughout my life and also by my being raised in a family that was loving but somewhat distant in some ways (referring more to my father, I guess). Nobody ever taught me about women or about standing up for myself. I had to learn as an adult, and it's been a long process. Ross Jefferies and Co can teach you how to bullsh*t a chick into bed with you for a one-night stand, but in the end, I think most of us want something more. PUA's don't ever come close to dealing with that. Only you, the individual, can. You have to be a man, plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Here's an example: When she does something good, pat her on the head like a doggy and say "good girl!" what? Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 just dont rub her face in her own crap Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 "Nobody ever taught me about women or about standing up for myself. I had to learn as an adult, and it's been a long process." Many people in the business of providing dating advice cite this very reason as the number one problem in male subculture. Growing up, most boys are left to learn the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 If you're out on a date with a girl and she sees that you *act* like some cocky, funny jerk with her but you can't even complain to the waiter when he f*cks up her/your order....she'll look at her watch, tell you it's getting late and say 'see ya'. Sorry but you can't separate the two: you have to be real. Totally. When a guy acts like a obnoxious dick towards women but goes all passive and sucky around other men, it's not too appealing at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Totally. When a guy acts like a obnoxious dick towards women but goes all passive and sucky around other men, it's not too appealing at all. Ive made more men cry then women Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Ive made more men cry then women Yes, but moving on from the gory details of your sex life KMT.... Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Ive made more men cry then women Well dude use lube on the poor guys! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 looks like jerks think alike Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Well dude use lube on the poor guys! Oh b*gger. Yours was better than mine. Stick a fork in me, I'm going to the gym. If I see any nice guys there, I'll report back on where I think they're going wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 looks like jerks think alike That would be Miss Jerk to you butt pirate boy. I am guessing that KMT is a "nice guy"? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I miss your humor around here a4a. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I am guessing that KMT is a "nice guy"? He is. Throw a little more bitchiness KMT's way...it excites the hell out of him and puts him on a real emotional rollercoaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 That would be Miss Jerk to you butt pirate boy. I am guessing that KMT is a "nice guy"? Can't forget that he is the official HMA. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Can't forget that he is the official HMA. Well I officially declare myself HWA with a certificate held in "nice". Do dudes dig nice chicks? Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 not really, I more go after hot chicks and I strip you of any self given HWA titles... Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 If you're out on a date with a girl and she sees that you *act* like some cocky, funny jerk with her but you can't even complain to the waiter when he f*cks up her/your order....she'll look at her watch, tell you it's getting late and say 'see ya'. Sorry but you can't separate the two: you have to be real. You have to be real what? Sorry this is more of a long term thing. It will really get to her in the long run... but will not be an issue short term. Not all women are emotionally based. Nice guy attracts damsel in distress. (save me from the a'holes, until I get bored and want another a'hole). A'hole attracts insecure woman that will eventually seek escape via the nice guy all the more willing to rescue her. round and round this goes, until some of them grow up or settle. I agree with this as a generalization! "Nobody ever taught me about women or about standing up for myself. I had to learn as an adult, and it's been a long process." Many people in the business of providing dating advice cite this very reason as the number one problem in male subculture. Growing up, most boys are left to learn the hard way. This is probably the most important thing anyone has said so far. This typically generates a group of males who are repetativly burned and are extremely angry and bitter. I'd say the same with women... but to a lesser extent. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 When it comes down to it, "Nice Guy" dating problems are symptoms of long standing personality problems rooted in self-esteem, and it's likely the core issues affect more than just your love life. Not entirely. While low self-esteem may be rooted in someone's childhood or another traumatic experience, it's society that dictates men should treat women as fragile, delicate creatures, and try to show their feelings to the woman. Then we get ****loads of posts here of men saying "How do I tell this girl I like how I feel" and "I told her how I feel and she became distant". Nice guy attracts damsel in distress. Nice guys cannot attract a damsel in distress because they don't have the balls to. A'hole attracts insecure woman There must be a LOT of insecure women out there! Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Originally Posted by underpants Not all women are emotionally based. Nice guy attracts damsel in distress. (save me from the a'holes, until I get bored and want another a'hole). A'hole attracts insecure woman that will eventually seek escape via the nice guy all the more willing to rescue her. round and round this goes, until some of them grow up or settle. As almost always, you are right on this too. Link to post Share on other sites
sex_dr Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 i'm a nice guy and girls walk all over me. why can't a guy treat a woman like a princess, and she in return? but on the other hand... guys and girls love confidence. they want a man who will be that strong arms that wil hold them tight. a nice combo of listening and cockyness will go a long way. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 I think this works both ways. Guys can't stand girls that are too nice and girls can't stand guys that are too nice. Honestly it's hard having fun or enjoy dating someone if the person agrees with everything you say without having an opinion of their own...or at the very least say no to them. Nice girls (the doormats) are boring to an extent. I think the problem is people often equate 'nice' to boring - and not being nice all the time is essential to a relationship. It's been said a billion times and I'll say it again, both sides need balance. But I think regarding the 'nice' aspect, there's usually bound to be one side that has more power over the other. Link to post Share on other sites
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