Not sure how to...

[Schwartzz]

So theres this girl that I am attracted to in one of my classes at college, its a fairly small class so we know each other a bit and sometimes talk. We also greet each other say hi in the corridor etc...

 

Anyway, I want to ... "ask her out" but firstly I have like no confidence, prolly cuz im terrified of possible rejection and also i've got no idea what to say...

 

Any help? Thanks

 

(Also I should mention that she's fairly shy and doesn't talk much in class, not sure if she's been in a relationship recently)

[truckdriving]

Heres some advice from someone who is just as terrified of rejection. The next time you and a mixed group (girls and guys) hangout. Ask if she wants to come, that way it will take some of the pressure off both of you and wont feel so much like a "date". Do this a couple of times till you feel comfortable then ask her if she wants to get some coffe or something like that. Stay away from movies because theres no way to get to know each other. Hope this helps.

[Gravity]

Heres some advice from someone who is just as terrified of rejection. The next time you and a mixed group (girls and guys) hangout. Ask if she wants to come, that way it will take some of the pressure off both of you and wont feel so much like a "date". Do this a couple of times till you feel comfortable then ask her if she wants to get some coffe or something like that. Stay away from movies because theres no way to get to know each other. Hope this helps.

 

Thats some great advice there. My suggestion is to perhaps ask for her help or assistance in college work. That way you can get to know about her a bit more and as a result you can develop your friendship first. Good luck

[Lovegod]

A cookie cutter problem! Since I already answered this question in another thread, I'm pretty much going to copy + paste what I said there.

 

First of all, never tell a woman how you feel. Show her how you feel with human touch.

 

Approach her, make small talk, tell her "I have to go, but I'd like to continue this conversation later, so why don't you give me your number and we'll set something up?"

 

Easy as 1,2,3.

 

If she's not interested in dating you, she'll let you know.

 

After you ask her for her number, call her up the next day, say "Hey, how's it going?" Then reflect on something that the both of you talked about, talk about something interesting or funny that happened to you, basically just engage in small talk for a couple of minutes.

 

Then say "Hey, I was planning on going out to xxx on xxxday, why don't you come with me?" ALWAYS have a plan when you call a woman and ask her for a date. It's even better if you mention it as if you were going to do it with or without her. You're basically giving her the privelege of spending time with a great guy like you!

 

Then she'll give you an answer. If she says no but counter-offers, she's interested. For example, "sorry, I'm busy on xxxday, how about xxxday?" That's a counter-offer.

 

If she just says "sorry, I'm busy", then put a "3 strikes your out" method in place. If she turns you down three times, she's not interested and you can move onto other women.

 

After you set up the date (or your offer gets turned down) then you end your call by saying, "well I've got things to do, so I'll see you later, okay?"

 

Oh yeah, don't do dinner & a movie. Do something else that's fun, where you can interact, talk, and have fun together. Rollerskating, bowling, pool, and even window shopping are all good activities and will have lots of built-in conversation. So even if you don't have much to talk about, you can talk about the activity you're doing.

 

A five minute phone call is long enough for some small talk and to set up a date. Any longer and you will run out of things to talk about. All the talking should be done on the date instead of on the phone. It just makes your presence more valuable.