Am I Being Unreasonable ?

[Peter Parker]

I recently got back with my ex,we were together for 3 years and have been apart for 6.Things are going well but i have one problem which is causing me concern.

 

In her room she has 2 pictures in frames of her with her ex,their relashionship only lasted 5 weeks and he finished with her as he still had issues about his breakup with his last girlfriend.

 

I have told her several times that i don't like the pictures being on display,i find it uncomfatable and don't understand the need for them to be there.Still the pictures stay where they are.Well tonight i intend to go round to her house and tell her to take them down,if she pulls a face or refuses i will walk out.

 

Am i going about this the right way ?

[Pyro]

I recently got back with my ex,we were together for 3 years and have been apart for 6.Things are going well but i have one problem which is causing me concern.

 

In her room she has 2 pictures in frames of her with her ex,their relashionship only lasted 5 weeks and he finished with her as he still had issues about his breakup with his last girlfriend.

 

I have told her several times that i don't like the pictures being on display,i find it uncomfatable and don't understand the need for them to be there.Still the pictures stay where they are.Well tonight i intend to go round to her house and tell her to take them down,if she pulls a face or refuses i will walk out.

 

Am i going about this the right way ?

 

You are not going about it the right way. Basically you are giving her an ultimatum and ultimatums cause people to go on the defense, which will lead to bickering, arguing and other BS.

 

In your defense, I agree that it is weird that she has the pictures up from a five week relationship.

[popey]

if it were me, I'd already be gone. personally I think it is just obvious bad form to keep pics w/ exes on display once your in a new relationship (unless its the father of your kids, or its an ex from a long time ago, and your life long friends and this pic is not from the romantic/sexual relationship.)

 

beyond that, if you told her that you don't like them up, and it makes you uncomfortable, that should be enough. your feelings should matter more then those pics. its not like you're saying, she can't ever have an innocent convo with someone from her past. this is not a very controlling request. you just don't like your SO commemorating a past lover in her home. that's very reasonable.

[Florida]

I recently got back with my ex,we were together for 3 years and have been apart for 6.Things are going well but i have one problem which is causing me concern.

 

In her room she has 2 pictures in frames of her with her ex,their relashionship only lasted 5 weeks and he finished with her as he still had issues about his breakup with his last girlfriend.

 

I have told her several times that i don't like the pictures being on display,i find it uncomfatable and don't understand the need for them to be there.Still the pictures stay where they are.Well tonight i intend to go round to her house and tell her to take them down,if she pulls a face or refuses i will walk out.

 

Am i going about this the right way ?

 

I don't think it matters how you go about it.

 

The fact she has pictures up from a 1 month relationship where she was dumped is such a red flag to your newly reacquanited relationship.

 

I would even think she was trying to get some message to you about what she expects from the future of the relationship if she chooses to commemorate some flash in the pan dud over you.

 

Even if she takes them down-what kind of person is this? You 2 have history-she knows you well enough to assume it would bother you.

 

Unless she is making a stab at your jealousy reaction? She better apologize and make it better for you, sounds like a little power play game.

[Peter Parker]

Thanks for all your thoughts on this.

 

She has told me that she won't take down the pictures in the frames because they were presants (from him).

[Florida]

So she is choosing to keep up some dumb present from a guy that dumped her over the integrity of your relationship. Nice. I think you have your answer.

 

Do you 2 have some history of anger or controlling issues?

[Peter Parker]

She likes attention from men,she likes to know that people are interested in her,so that if her current relashionship starts to go wrong she can jump onto the next one.She knows how much i love her,I am a loyal,decent person,who wants to be with someone who will treat me with the same respect.No matter what i say or do she still needs approval,recoqnition,compliments from other Men.Which makes me feel like i am doing something wrong.

 

I belive she has a fear of being on her own,

 

She started trying to contact me again about 3 weeks after this guy dumped her.

 

She still sees this ex,infact they met up last night with some of his/her friends for a meal.I am beginning to think that she will go along with our relashionship for however long,saying all the right things,talking about living together,having babies.but if this guy was to suddenly change his mind she would be off like a shot.And i would be heart broken (again)

[Florida]

This isn't right for you.

Were you invited to this friendly meal?

 

I knew the picture frame was just the beginning of something bad.

 

People don't hang on to things that harm their relationship unless they are getting something out of it.

 

Do you want to be with someone who you feel would leave you for their ex?

 

And if he doesn't want her back-you get "the prize" by default?

 

I think she is using you to make him jealous. Keeping the pictures up (disrespects you-she is yelling loud and clear where you fit in-which is not too much) , going out to dinners and you are not invited along, getting back in touch with you after 6 years, just 3 weeks after they broke up.

 

Oh man, can you just dump this girl before she breaks your heart?